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Thread: FFVII Jokes

  1. 02-17-2014, 03:29 PM #31
    Jinx
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    So this one time, I used Aeris, and she was totally useful
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.
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  2. 02-17-2014, 04:56 PM #32
    Ayen
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz View Post
    What do Aeris and Mediterranean cuisine have in common?
    You can find both on skewers.

    Why was Aeris expelled from Midgar High?
    Bellybutton piercings were against the school dress code.

    Why did Aeris get breast reduction surgery?
    She was having back pains.

    Why can't Aeris make it in the entertainment industry?
    She's all washed up.

    What's Aeris's favorite heavy metal song?
    Holy Diver.

    Who's Aeris's favorite James Bond actor?
    Pierce Brosnan.

    Why don't Aeris and Sephiroth get along in bed?
    (SPOILER)She doesn't like being penetrated from behind.
    Sorry, Aerith, these made me laugh. You can punish me when I get to the lifestream.

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  3. 02-19-2014, 12:26 AM #33
    Mercen-X
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    What made Seto a poor excuse for a father?
    He was always stoned.

    What made Hojo attracted to Lucrecia?
    She was open to experimentation.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
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  4. 02-19-2014, 12:31 AM #34
    Sephiroth
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz View Post
    Why don't Aeris and Sephiroth get along in bed?
    (SPOILER)She doesn't like being penetrated from behind.
    I can tell you some stories here.
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  5. 02-20-2014, 11:00 AM #35
    Shaibana
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    Where did Caith Sid go on hiliday this year? the great barrier reeve
    ​
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  6. 02-21-2014, 02:15 AM #36
    Big D
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    Why did Tifa take her weapons when she went on that date with Cloud at the Gold Saucer?

    No glove, no love



    What did Tifa say to Cloud after 'defeating' him later the same night?

    "Stay where you belong... in my mammaries."



    What do you call someone who saw the Calamity fall from the sky?

    Jenova's Witness



    What's the most dreaded fish in all the Lifestream?

    Mako shark
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  7. 02-22-2014, 11:30 PM #37
    magemasher
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    What did Tifa say to Cloud after 'defeating' him later the same night?

    "Stay where you belong... in my mammaries."



    Excellent
    Last edited by magemasher; 02-22-2014 at 11:32 PM. Reason: failed quote hhhhh
    Ride ze shoopuff
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