Here's a funny one (well ymmv)

[Mercen-X]

Here's a story for you:
My mom got a nosebleed. It happens around the time of year where the atmosphere starts to shift due changing seasons (usually winter to spring). She showed my dad a tissue that was soaked in blood and he reacted reasonably disgusted. As she walked away, he said aloud, "I'll be having sex with you later." She merely laughed in response.

Now, to clarify, my dad was watching Star Trek: Enterprise during an episode in which Captain Archer had just noticed a cute woman looking at him from an adjacent villa while he is on vacation. My dad's remark was merely stating what he assumed was on Archer's mind. But the timing of the remark and the bloody tissue is just too ludicrous to keep to myself.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

I enjoyed this tale.