Jiro's Journey

[Jiro]

Today I purchased Final Fantasy X|X-2 HD Remaster. Instead of musing aloud, I decided to muse aloud and make notes. These notes will then inform my updates here as I play through the game. I considered merely jotting these down in a Word document for use later, but I figure it might create some discussion and I might use it to write things for EoFF so why not make a thread. Plus, alliteration is awesome.

So, let us begin!


The introductory screen is nice. Cool to see that I have other things to try for the first time! Of course, I will start at the top and work my way down, because that is the natural progression and I do not wish to ruin this narrative by placing it out of order. I catch myself thinking, "okay, Square Enix do remakes okay," until I remember Final Fantasy VI for Android. "Remake bundles," I amend, highlighting the start screen of Kingdom Hearts 1.5 HD Remix in my mind. Also, they are terrible with names.

The opening cut scene plays. Rikku's hair looks like crap. So does Kimahri's. Wakka and Lulu's looks alright from this distance though, so that's a plus. I can definitely see graphical improvements, and the music is nice. "Why is Kimahri's ponytail thing so... trout, though?" I wonder. Alayna points out that it happens in anime too; hair is gravity defying.

"YES BUT," I say, "his little hair band thing that makes his hair shoot out is great, but the end would drop. It would still be 'pointy' but this is just pointlessly incorrect." I know too much about having long hair, I realise. Maybe I should get a hair cut.

Yuna and Tidus also have strange hair. It is probably nicer, but the crisper detail on the rest of the body makes the hair look awkward and plastic. I like Tidus's face, and then he does that weird half-open mouth thing that I remember from one of the trailer videos and I tell him to close his stupid mouth. His eyes are amazingly blue though, which makes him significantly more attractive. This is good. The title card comes up and it is nice, then it is joined by the HD Remaster crap and it is severely less nice.

Sakaguchi gets his Executive Producer credit and I cannot help but smile. Even when he is gone, Square Enix are still using him to turn a profit. Or, at least, try not to go insolvent. I don't think he would complain; he loved the work he created and no doubt feels something inexplicable towards the company as a concept.

Suddenly I am faced with a choice between New Game, Load Game, and Data Transfer. Data Transfer? I try it, but nothing. Maybe I need one of those wacky things to suck my PS2 save file out of the memory card, or whatever. I don't care either which way so I go back and hit new game. I get more loading screens.

Have I mentioned those yet? I have not. The loading screens are gross. I hate them. Why? Mostly the blue. Mostly the text. The language of Spira is not decipherable that easily. It's not English. Loading is written in some weird amalgam of Spiran and English. That is gross. Also the blue is kind of gross. Otherwise, I don't mind it. Have a black screen with spinning Jecht symbol, that is fine. Get rid of the rest.

Then the second intro plays. Not second as in "it has another," but rather, it plays again. I just saw this. I was forced to watch this before I could choose to play the game at all. Why would you do this? Pressing start only pauses it, prolonging my despair. Ugh.

It takes a while. I wonder why Tidus, Yuna, and Wakka would put their weapons in some kind of weird monument shape. Maybe it is explained later. Maybe it is for marketing. Probably the latter. When Tidus stands, I noticed the hood on his shoddy (shirt/hoodie crossover) moves. Now that is cool.

I remark "shouldn't you be speaking" approximately half a second before he starts. Okay, so I was almost right. The title card comes up again and I realise the font is not quite the same, but I dig it anyway. There is a weird juxtaposition between the kind of traditional setting they are in at this opening shot and the futuristic, clean, sans-serif font though. Slightly unnerving, but not likely to bother a normal person.

And then we start listening to Tidus's story. Hoo boy, here we goooooo!

[Miss Mae]

If my witty remarks are going to be included throughout this journey, I'm going to have to make sure I make more of them and that they are about more interesting things than gravity-defying anime hair.

[Ayen]

I hate games that show you the opening scene when you boot it up and then the same exact opening scene when you start a new game. What's the point in that? Ninja Gaiden is the worst offender of this I've seen so far. Not only does it have the opening scene before the title screen and then start a new game, but it has all of that written down in the instruction manual! Why!? Why?! Then again you can at least skip it both times.

I will join you on this journey. If hair is already a problem then I cannot WAIT when you get to Seymour. I seriously can't.

[Sephex]

My reaction when I first saw Seymour: "HE HAS BAD GUY HAIR! HE'S A BAD GUY! HE'S A BAD GUY!!!"

[Miss Mae]

-sees comments about this Seymour character-
-Googles him to see pictures of his hair-
-dies-

[Ayen]

-sees comments about this Seymour character-
-Googles him to see pictures of his hair-
-dies-

You haven't played X?

Let me tell you a story about the Shoopuf...

[Miss Mae]

I owned it. I played it. I never finished it. I have next to no recollections of anything about it. Potentially because I was about eight or nine at the time?

[Jiro]

Zanarkand

The music is... dodgy. It is a strange, slightly off-kilter beepy boopy that I expect from the 90s. I suppose the Final Fantasy X Project logo that I was forced to sit through a loading screen for earlier did say 1999-2002, but surely the music comes toward the end of the project, not several years before it begins. The fashion, too, is horrendous; hipsters wouldn't even wear it. I have no doubt it is very "in" somewhere though. I would check the character designer, but I suspect Nomura anyway.

After Tidus appears again, I wonder: is this a commentary on the concept of celebrity? Here Tidus is, in the sanctuary of his own home, and some of his biggest fans crowd the only exit; they know exactly where he lives. How claustrophobic. But then, I wonder, is it actually a subversion? After all, Tidus - star player of the Zanarkand Abes and son of the greatest Blitzballer ever - lives on a troutty house boat. Okay, the inside is plush, but look at Zanarkand. Look at it. It is built up, so high up that you can't see trout from their highways. How low would Tidus even have to live in order to live on a house boat? If Star Wars and Coruscant taught us anything, it's that the rich, famous, and powerful live at the top, while the death stick dealers live at the bottom.

I gain control of Tidus and try to go back in his house. "No, you're not going," I say. "You're grounded. This game is not happening. We're staying in." But of course, the door is locked; can't have rabid fans going in, and he is the most important player tonight. Jecht Memorial Cup, right? Wait, I'm not supposed to know that yet. Shoot.

The running animation is smooth. Real smooth. As an athlete myself (I refuse to say former ), I am always curious to see the running animation in games. JRPGs are a source of interest, because they often have three speeds: running, jogging, and walking. However, because the player is not limited by realism, the characters often sprint everywhere, and despite that being unrealistic anyway, their running technique is usually poor and unlikely to be conducive to either speed or stamina. So, Tidus "jogs" in a natural kind of way, which I can imagine being maintained over long distances, not even just because he is an athlete. I am going to write my PhD thesis on running in video games, btw.

Of course, all of this is moot once I start tapping Circle. Tidus stumbles as he goes, looking like a complete moron. Wonderful.

He reaches the crowd of fans and I notice that the NPC head tracking is insane. They must be very dedicated fans because their necks whip back and forth even more fiercely than Willow Smith. Tidus, being the attractive self-absorbed sports star that he is, talks the ladies first. And then has much regret, for their voices are like grating your actual ears with an actual cheese grater. Clearly, they did not redo any of these voices. I want to silence these women as quickly as possible.

On the plus side, the name entry screen is nice. I like it. Nice colours, crisp. Tidus's portrait may be different; if so, it is an improvement. If not, well, I'm a bit of an idiot, aren't I?

Tidus promises to do... this! if he scores. Okay, he's a superstar and these chicks want to smurf him. Probably at the same time. He should probably be less awkward. There is already some inconsistency forming between Tidus the "I got it together I'm so cool and famous" and Tidus the "helly do sad wee" but we'll touch on this again later.

Tidus then talks to random NPCs because why not. Two of them are voiced. The chick has, uh, really good voice acting. Which is weird because she has like three lines of dialogue. But, far out, that is impressive and the dialogue fits perfectly. I think I found the best line of dialogue in the game and it is pointless throwaway garbage in the first 10 minutes of gameplay. Gonna be a long trip.

Bahamut Kid (shh we don't know this yet) has a line but it's stupid and Tidus doesn't respond. Like, way to be a weirdo, both of you.

Okay, then Tidus talks to the kids. Finally. He has to be a role model, right? He signs the blitzballs for the kids one by one and the last kid says "Me too!" and Tidus flips out with a "Take it easy!" but little does he realise that the kid smurfing waited his turn so don't be a prick Tidus.

Then it hits cutscene again and the middle kid suddenly has the voice of a sixteen year old girl with nasal congestion, starts on "two" like he/she/it/they are some kind of smurfing band conductor, and then the three of them say "Teach us how to blitz." Okay, fine, kids want their hero to teach them to be just as good as him. Fine with me, I get hero worship, I've been there. Then Tidus is all like "I got a game, duh" and they're like "then after!" and he considers it. Um, dude. Couple things wrong with this: they're kids so they'll probably be asleep after the game, and um hello you're Zanarkands biggest name are you kidding me? You're not going to wrap up your match and then go teach 3 kids how to be star blitzball players. Get out of here.

And then Bahamut Kid says not tonight and Tidus is like "...hmmm yeaaah". Okay look I'm not Tidus but you either go "who the smurf are you, kid?" or you take the opening and go, "oh YEAH not tonight, but tomorrow, sure kids, whatever" and then you prance off because you have a frigging game to play and you're gonna be LATE.

Please note: the kids then do the prayer in perfect synchronisation and if that's not an indication that you're a smurfing (SPOILER)dream of the fayth or at least in some kind of wack-ass Matrix then I don't know what is.

I... I guess it's time to go play blitzball now?

[Ayen]

Sounds like me with V and VI. Only I was ten. As per EoFF tradition I implore you to replay it and will now attempt operation conversion.

Oh Jiro. You're going to be dead at the rate you're going.

[Miss Mae]

Depending on how this goes, I'm sure I will take the reins playing for 'Jiro's Journey' occasionally anyway. Gives him a chance to scribble his notes without having to keep hitting pause. So don't worry, I will see all and play at least parts of this game!

[Jiro]

As we start going through Zanarkand, I must admit, it is gorgeous. I mean, in terms of colour variation, it is abysmal; it's a brown bunch of pillars, but smurfing hell some water features and that sci-fi atmosphere make it kind of brilliant. Like I mentioned earlier though, where are the boats? Everything is so high, that kind of low-lying boat area is nowhere to be seen.

Also, those roads. Wat. There is, like, one, and it is huge, and clearly not for cars so WHY SO WIDE, and the buildings don't ever touch it. How does this even work? I will pass that off as a necessary casualty of an unimportant unexplorable beginning location but Square Enix you know our relationship is rocky. So don't mess this up, okay?

The narrator comes in. Okay, his voice is nice. I'm confused, and then I realise he is a commentator talking about the game and stuff and it makes loads more sense and I'm so on board. And then his name is Zanar and nope there is no way that anybody in this (SPOILER)dream world named their smurfing kid after what appears to be the only smurfing city in the entire world. No. I bet his twin brother is Kand and I bet he died in childbirth.

Some woman on the road says, "Oh I'm sure you'll be the star player this year," and I curse Square Enix softly for not putting in a "smack dat ho" button in because I am already the star player, you fool.

While I chat to the other citizens standing on this bridge road thing for no discernible reason, I notice the same three kids from before running past me continually. How are they doubling back around so quickly? That is ridiculous. Why even do this? If you want to create the illusion of activity and movement, then have a couple different groups going so I don't notice it immediately.

Also, already I have encountered doubles and triples of character models. There are approximately 10 unique people that live in Zanarkand. That's lazy. Really, really, really lazy. And it is obvious, which is the worst thing.

Somehow, Tidus is not late yet, but somebody says, "oh, the game can't start without you!" and I slightly readjust my perceptions of what star player means: so, if he wanted to, Tidus could rock up 15 minutes, no, 30 minutes late and they would only start then? Maybe he is already "late".

That would explain why he gets mobbed when he gets to the stadium. His jogging on the spot action is stupid, but the actual act of having to push through the crowd is really quite novel. It's a pointless little inclusion, but no, it adds immersion and verisimilitude and that is important. Square Enix maybe you aren't so bad after all. Or, maybe you used to be okay...

I... don't know what the deal is with the forcefield water door. It looks like one guy follows him through? What is stopping them and how is it not stopping Tidus? I have too many questions about this city's design and technology already and we haven't even been inside the Blitzball stadium yet.

I will talk about one of my favourite things in the entirety of Final Fantasy next​.

[Ayen]

Blitzball is the greatest mother smurfing sport in the world! Woohoo!

[Jiro]

I have taken very detailed notes here at the beginning because I think the beginning should be heavily scrutinised. I think all of it should, really, but the beginning particularly so. I will not be doing anything quite this drastic, and if Alayna does indeed assist me, then I will be able to type and go rather than playing for an hour and typing for five hundred. If I could grow a beard, it would be grey right now.


The Otherworld song and this cinematic are cool. Really, remarkably cool. It characterises Tidus really well. It shows how calm and in his element he is prior to the Blitzball game. Despite the discrepancies out in the field, where blitz is concerned, Tidus is king and he has all the confidence in the world. He is a professional athlete. It shows how fanatical people are about Blitzball, and how much of a spectacle it is.

It sets a great tone; the music is harsh (although not as crisp as it is in the original) and metal(lic), as compared to the gentle, natural feel of the music in Besaid and so on, showing a clear difference between the technologic and technophobic. Panning out over Zanarkand gives us a better view of the city and it is, once again, gorgeous.

Blitzball is shown to be extremely athletic. It is also shown to have loads of dreadlocks, and Tidus potentially kills another athlete by ramming him out of the stadium. Worth noting is the presence of both men and women on both teams; Blitzball is not a sexist sport and that is very interesting. I may muse more on that later, actually.

Side note: Auron is also cool. Really, really cool. Why do they make him so cool? I guess it establishes his character as being a little impressive and mysterious, but a lot of this cut scene confused me for a long time and still does even after understanding it. (SPOILER)I get that Auron "rode" Sin but how is he "calling" it? He raises his little canteen as if to signal him, and it seems really misleading. Sin knows what to do and if not should not be able to understand Auron at all.

The shattering of the statue was really cool. It's not just showing that Sin breaks stuff, it's that it completely shatters and then absorbs every part of people. Visually impressive too.

Tidus, mid-Sphere Shot (does he know this move straight away in Luca? If no, ludonarrative dissonance maybe, if yes, genius), sees Sin firing lasers (?) and manages to bail as everything crumbles around him. Uh, if he was performing the Sphere Shot, he would've had to fall somewhere. Back in, right? But if so, why is there something for him to grab? He'd smash his face on that. Anyway, he grabs hold of the ledge and we watch the stadium sink, and then he drops what has to be at least a good 50m and dies. Game over, thanks for coming.

No, of course not. Plot armour. The ludicrous nature of blitzball can be explained with some kind of jedi mind trick and a mention about water and anti gravity tech. Falling from that height onto stone or marble or concrete cannot. These minor points are a big gripe for me throughout the series, and throughout stuff generally. I get that they couldn't add in incremental ledges while maintaining the integrity of the FMV, but really now.

Tidus escapes, along with all the other invincible people, and bumps into Auron. "Oh hey, what are you doing here?" like it's only mildly a big deal. I fault Square Enix and James Arnold Taylor equally for the poor lines in this game. I don't hate Tidus, and I don't hate his voice acting, but there are a lot of really really trout lines in this game.

Tidus runs along the stupid single highway, in the opposite direction to most people, and sees the Bahamut Kid. This... is really weird. He walks up like he's going to say "hey kid, whatcha doing out here?" but it is entirely out of character; Tidus has just been wandering around looking dazed and confused, and he sees one stoic looking kid in a hood and is like "oh yeah I'm the star player of the Zanarkand Abes I should be calm."

At this point, I made another note complaining about the loading screens. Yes, this is a great point me from a little while ago. This game is remastered. Surely it does not need insufferably long (like 5-10 seconds) load screens. They're already gross; why make me look at them often!?

Tidus finds Auron again and Auron points at Sin. Sin appears to be in the direction that the other people were running. Um? I don't know if it is me or if it was Square Enix, but I am suddenly disoriented and that is an unpleasant feeling.

We find some Sinscales and... well, Auron lets Tidus swat at them for a moment. Why, I don't know. Why the Sinscales don't tear him a new one, I don't know. Then Auron pulls a sword out of his ass and hands it to Tidus, who struggles under its weight. No. Tidus is a professional athlete. Look at the muscle tone in his arms. Even if Blitzball had no arm actions, he would still be strong enough to wield that trout with two hands. Maybe he's shaken, fine, whatever. But then he breathes a little and can hold it with one hand, with theoretically no prior sword training? Bulltrout, Square Enix. This is a hero-of-destiny type trope and you should be ashamed. Here was your chance to create a true hero out of his element and they didn't take it.

The combat is nice. The dings as you move onto commands and select them are new, but nice. Numbers are crisp, and I can dig that. All of the interface is neat and not very invasive or obtrusive, without blending in. I'm a huge fan of the battle system anyway, but I've mused on that elsewhere.

There's another brief section where Tidus says "Let's get out of here" to Auron as if it was a new idea and he just thought of it and wasn't freaking out about the crazy trout and the fighting and the dying and the fact that there is only one road in his city that leads where he needs to go always.

Then they blow up a building to deal with a bunch of enemies. Then Auron tells Tidus to jump on the falling building and he does so like it is no Big Deal. Then they use the building, which is randomly exploding for no good reason, as a ramp to jump elsewhere.

Auron does his talk and I didn't make notes here but I will say that they are vitally important in understanding the way Tidus acts later. Auron is the coolest dude ever, and also a psuedo mentor to Tidus. Auron tells self-absorbed superstar Tidus that this is his story; of course Tidus takes that on board, subconsciously or otherwise, and is a bit of a brat about stuff.

Then we get a white loading screen and I love it. This is nice. Let's have this all the time.

Then we get existential bulltrout. This detracts from the pacing so smurfing much. The next time we control Tidus should not be in a weird but familiar place; it should be in a completely unknown place to really capture the feeling of confusion. It's also stupid because Tidus swims like he is treading water despite being submerged in ~spirits~ or whatever the hell is going on here.

Okay now we're at the Sunken Temple and I've stopped playing for now so THERE

[Scotty_ffgamer]

Just to explain the Data Transfer thing, it's for if you own both the Vita and PS3 versions of the game. You can transfer your saves between the two through that. There is no transferring of the PS2 save even if you could hook your PS2 memory card into the system.

I never thought Auron was trying to signal to Sin in that one scene. I just always thought of it as just trying to continue to make him look cool. He's just raising his glass to Sin to get himself prepared, I think. I could be wrong.

Playing the intro at the beginning before you select new game/load/whatever sucks. I don't know why they do that. You could skip it by playing start, but I think most people's reactions when just loading up the game for the first time is to want to take everything, including watching that opening thing. It also sucks that once in the game, you can't ever skip cutscenes.

Not really related, but I just feel like sharing. I've given Tidus the name of "Boy" for my playthrough. I think it's a good name for him.

[Bubba]

This thread pleases me greatly.