As we start going through Zanarkand, I must admit, it is gorgeous. I mean, in terms of colour variation, it is abysmal; it's a brown bunch of pillars, but smurfing hell some water features and that sci-fi atmosphere make it kind of brilliant. Like I mentioned earlier though, where are the boats? Everything is so high, that kind of low-lying boat area is nowhere to be seen.

Also, those roads. Wat. There is, like, one, and it is huge, and clearly not for cars so WHY SO WIDE, and the buildings don't ever touch it. How does this even work? I will pass that off as a necessary casualty of an unimportant unexplorable beginning location but Square Enix you know our relationship is rocky. So don't mess this up, okay?

The narrator comes in. Okay, his voice is nice. I'm confused, and then I realise he is a commentator talking about the game and stuff and it makes loads more sense and I'm so on board. And then his name is Zanar and nope there is no way that anybody in this (SPOILER)dream world named their smurfing kid after what appears to be the only smurfing city in the entire world. No. I bet his twin brother is Kand and I bet he died in childbirth.

Some woman on the road says, "Oh I'm sure you'll be the star player this year," and I curse Square Enix softly for not putting in a "smack dat ho" button in because I am already the star player, you fool.

While I chat to the other citizens standing on this bridge road thing for no discernible reason, I notice the same three kids from before running past me continually. How are they doubling back around so quickly? That is ridiculous. Why even do this? If you want to create the illusion of activity and movement, then have a couple different groups going so I don't notice it immediately.

Also, already I have encountered doubles and triples of character models. There are approximately 10 unique people that live in Zanarkand. That's lazy. Really, really, really lazy. And it is obvious, which is the worst thing.

Somehow, Tidus is not late yet, but somebody says, "oh, the game can't start without you!" and I slightly readjust my perceptions of what star player means: so, if he wanted to, Tidus could rock up 15 minutes, no, 30 minutes late and they would only start then? Maybe he is already "late".

That would explain why he gets mobbed when he gets to the stadium. His jogging on the spot action is stupid, but the actual act of having to push through the crowd is really quite novel. It's a pointless little inclusion, but no, it adds immersion and verisimilitude and that is important. Square Enix maybe you aren't so bad after all. Or, maybe you used to be okay...

I... don't know what the deal is with the forcefield water door. It looks like one guy follows him through? What is stopping them and how is it not stopping Tidus? I have too many questions about this city's design and technology already and we haven't even been inside the Blitzball stadium yet.

I will talk about one of my favourite things in the entirety of Final Fantasy next​.