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Thread: Let's Read 50 Shades of Grey (and be a b*tch about it) (explicit content)

  1. #31
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Elliot kisses Kate passionately while Ana and Christian are watching. Apparently the kiss is so good that Kate becomes ‘comely and compliant’. I don’t understand why it is necessary for every female character – even the one who was, until recently, being described as ‘tenacious’ ad nauseam – to become completely submissive as soon as a man enters the scene.

    The kiss makes her more beautiful?


    Apparently Christian’s helicopter is a seven-seater. That’s a little ostentatious.

    Is this even a THING? Even medical helicopters aren't THAT big. Also, is he compensating?


    Christian presents Ana with a nondisclosure agreement. When asked to clarify what signing this piece of paper means, Christian says that, upon signing, Ana would not be able to talk about their relationship, if it becomes a relationship, to anyone. Immediately she signs, her curiosity towards his big, dark secret apparently more important to her than being able to discuss Christian with her friends and family.

    As someone who was in a relationship where I couldn't tell anyone about it (more or less), can I just say this is super smurfed up? It's abuse, Ana. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.



    also is it just more is it taking a ridiculously long time to get to the smurfing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  2. #32
    Word Engineer Miss Mae's Avatar
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    We're nearly there, Jinx - the smurfing starts next chapter. Until then, here's a review of 'the playroom' and the contract.

    Chapter Seven

    Ana enters the ‘playroom’. Materials include leather, wood, more wood, old varnished wood, mahogany, iron, ropes, chains, shackles, more wood, more leather, and an assortment of paddles, whips, riding crops and ‘funny-looking feathery implements’.

    After looking around the room at a variety of strange contraptions and instruments, Ana places most of her concern on the couch in the centre of the room and the fact that it is facing the bed. Ana, I think this is the least of your worries.

    The dark red lighting apparently makes the room feel ‘soft and romantic’ to Ana. I find it hard to believe somebody as innocent as Ana could stand in a room like this one and not feel threatened, or at least more confused than she appears to be, at its contents. For someone who seems to get nervous at everything, she seems to be exceedingly calm about what she can see.

    Apparently Ana’s subconscious has ‘emigrated or been struck dumb or simply keeled over and expired’. That’s exciting.

    Ana tries to determine how she is feeling. Finally her mind rests on fear. Finally she is being sensible. ‘But weirdly not of him,’ she clarifies. Then fear of what, Ana? She claims she isn’t scared of Christian because she doesn’t think he would hurt her. ‘Well, not without my consent,’ she adds. Christian has already done several things without explicit consent, and has already refused to do things that he has been asked to do, like call Ana by her preferred name, so I’m not sure where she has found this confidence.

    Here, after a brief to and fro between Ana and Christian about what takes place in this playroom, Christian says that he’s a ‘“Dominant”’ and clarifies this to mean that he wants Ana to ‘“willingly surrender [her]self to [him], in all things’. She immediately seems ready to learn how to ‘please’ him, even after he explains that the various items surrounding them will be used to reward and punish Ana based on her actions. This is a perfectly acceptable relationship dynamic when the two people involved are consenting adults, but I am surprised by how quickly Ana seems to be willing to consider Christian’s proposal, before she is even aware of the details. It’s strange, given she has been painted as an incredibly ‘innocent’ character from the beginning and earlier Kate implied that sex was something Ana wasn’t particularly well-versed in.

    Christian tells Ana that in this relationship his pleasure is found in her submission: the more she submits, the more pleasurable he finds it. In response to this, Ana asks, ‘“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”’ Christian shrugs and says ‘“Me”’. So, in short, for Ana to date Christian she has to follow a list of rules that we are yet to see in order to be rewarded in this playroom and endure punishments if she happens to break these rules; by following these rules and submitting to his will, Ana will please Christian, and this is the only way for them to be together. I’m not noticing any elements of equality in this equation yet, but perhaps as more discussions inevitably ensue around this topic, compromises may take place.

    Christian holds out a hand to Ana to lead her out of the playroom. She is hesitant to take it. She claimed she didn’t fear him, but her actions seem to disagree. Being scared of a man but being too attracted to him to leave is a dangerous situation.

    Christian shows Ana the room where she would be staying if she ‘“wants to do this”’. ‘“You’re expecting me to move in?”’ she asks, horrified. He assures her that it wouldn’t be full time and that they can negotiate that later. At least now we know negotiation is supposed to be a factor in this process.

    Ana is bothered by the idea of sleeping in a different room to Christian when she is staying at his apartment. She has trouble reconciling the Christian who has whips and chains in his playroom and the Christian who ‘saved’ her from a bar. I have less trouble reconciling those two sides of this man – they both demonstrate how domineering, controlling and overbearing he is.

    Christian explains that before they do anything, Ana must sign a contract that states what each party will and won’t do. ‘“This is consensual, Anastasia”’ Christian stresses. I’m really glad you cleared that up, Christian, because I was getting worried.

    Christian compares his relationship and sexual preferences to how some people like cheese and some people don’t. ‘We’re talking about cheese… Holy crap.’ Ana thinks. It’s really not that exciting, Ana.

    It becomes clear that Christian intends on ordering Ana around in all facets of their lives if she agrees to enter into a relationship with him, as he forces her to eat even though she isn’t hungry. I don’t understand how force-feeding somebody is appealing for either party.

    ‘“Like a moth to a flame”’ Christian says, explaining how he can’t resist Ana. Cliché count: 16.

    Ana went from blushing all the time to biting her lip all the time. It seems unnecessary for this to be mentioned constantly.

    Ana is incredibly excited that Christian wants her. She is so excited that she keeps dismissing what him wanting her means. She seems to think that ignoring what Christian expects from a relationship with her will make those expectations go away.

    Christian once again insists that Ana eat and she says ‘“No. I haven’t signed anything yet, so I think I’ll hang on to my free will for a bit longer”’. It’s interesting that the closer she gets to commencing a relationship with a Dominant, the more assertive she seems to become.

    Christian provides Ana with the rules that make up part of her contract. He instructs her to read the rules so that they can discuss them.

    The Submissive is expected to do anything the Dominant asks, except those things outlined in a separate list of ‘hard limits’. If the Submissive didn’t expressly list a particular act as being off-limits, this contract essentially makes them obligated to perform it if asked. That is a frightening prospect.

    Rules for the Submissive’s life extend outside of the bedroom, and even outside of the time she spends in the Dominant’s apartment (which Christian suggested might be Friday evening through Sunday). These rules include achieving seven hours of sleep every night, eating regularly from a list of prescribed foods, no snacking between meals (except fruit), only wearing clothing approved or provided by the Dominant, wearing any ‘adornments’ the Dominant deems necessary whenever he sees fit, training with a personal trainer four times a week, remaining shaved and/or waxed at all times, undergoing whatever beauty treatments the Dominant ‘sees fit’, not drinking to excess, not smoking, not doing drugs, not entering into a sexual relationship with anybody other than the Dominant, always conducting herself in a respectful and modest manner and recognising that her actions are a reflection on the Dominant.

    This list of rules covers almost nothing about the sexual expectations of the relationship and is more about controlling the Submissive’s (read: Ana’s) life choices. I’m not going to mock this list of rules – there are plenty of functioning couples who work with similar rules to these through a consensual relationship of mutual respect – but I am interested to see how Christian explains the purpose of these rules to somebody whose interest in being a Submissive lies in her desire to be in a relationship with Christian, and not in actually being a Submissive.

    Ana feels guilty about the prospect of having her clothes bought by Christian, worried that it would make her a ‘ho’, in her words. After he assures her she won’t be expected to wear his clothes when she is not with him, she resigns herself to the idea, telling herself to treat them as a uniform. This, by extension, means she is convincing herself to treat her relationship with Christian as a job. I don’t understand how somebody who, just a few hours ago, was desperate to be in what she considered to be a ‘normal relationship’ with Christian is now convincing herself that a Dominant/Submissive partnership would be acceptable to her if she looks at it like it’s a job.

    Even though Ana is unhappy with the clothing and waxing rules, the only rule Ana manages to convince Christian to modify – and although he said this process was a negotiation, it takes an awful lot of convincing – is reducing the personal training sessions from four sessions per week to three. I’m still not sensing much compromise here.

    Christian’s list of ‘hard limits’ contains eight acts, ranging from the use of various bodily fluids, medical instruments, fire and electrical currents. In fact, Christian is so against the use of fire that he lists it in both the first and last point on his list. The list is very varied, with some limits being personal preference and some being a matter of legality. Listing that he is against performing acts that involve animals and children, for instance, should go without saying. If it needs to be explicitly stated that he doesn’t wish to break the law in that area, then I feel a lot of other things also need to be explicitly stated. What about corpses, Christian? Are you against having sex with corpses? You haven’t explicitly listed it, so you must think it’s fine.

    Ana reads the list and thinks ‘Any sane person wouldn’t want to be involved in this sort of thing, surely.’ Of course I agree that this applies to some of the items on the list, such as the one regarding animals and children, but some of these limits are more a matter of personal preference. I find it strange that Ana has just seen so many peculiar things in Christian’s playroom, but considers only the acts noted on his list of hard limits to be outside the realm of what a ‘sane person’ would be interested in. My own preferences aside, there are sex toys that use ‘electrical currents’ sold in adult stores near the vibrators, ‘breathing control’ is something many couples practice to heighten their sexual experiences and bodily fluids are a source of arousal for a number of individuals. Ana’s narration here is incredibly selective, considering anything Christian is interested in to be acceptable and anything he is not interested in to be insane. If this book is supposed to make ideas of BDSM more socially acceptable, I find it interesting that E L James has clearly stated here which camps within the BDSM community she is not fighting on behalf of.

    Ana reveals that she hasn’t had sex before. There was plenty of foreshadowing around Ana’s innocence and inexperience, but this is the first time her virginity has been explicitly revealed. Knowing that Ana has never had sex makes her reaction (or, rather, lack of reaction) to everything she has seen and heard since being inside Christian’s apartment even harder to believe. Perhaps it can be blamed on shock, but somebody who has had no sexual experience, particularly somebody as typically nervous as Ana, should be reacting to recent events with a lot more anxiety.

    Christian’s immediate response to this revelation is not one of guilt or remorse, as it probably should be given he is responsible for Ana’s less-than-gentle first exposure to sexuality, but with an anger that closes the chapter.

    My future is fuelled by the fires of words, wit and companionship.

  3. #33
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    I have such a hard time accepting that this piece of trash even exists, and a harder time reading about the absurdities of it all. I think it casts an incredibly terrible, offensive light on people who choose to live these lifestyles and reading about all of the author's details of them all in conjunction to Ana's horrible, timid, plain personality just puts a bad taste in my mouth, as if only feeble, "innocent", naive women who don't know any better would be interested in consent to any of it. I don't like it at all.

    This isn't a criticism about your commentary, though, dear, just the content of the story. You're doing a fine job.

  4. #34
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    The fact that this was the fastest selling work of "literature" in history has me judging humanity so severely
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    The really sad thing is that a big part of the marketing of this atrocity was the whole romance and BDSM and "forbidden" thing sex and how it should be more accepted and so on.

    Sadly, as we've seen in this thread, it's a really bad representation of any and all of these things and now the general public are even more ignorant about it.

  6. #36
    Word Engineer Miss Mae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shorty View Post
    I think it casts an incredibly terrible, offensive light on people who choose to live these lifestyles and reading about all of the author's details of them all in conjunction to Ana's horrible, timid, plain personality just puts a bad taste in my mouth, as if only feeble, "innocent", naive women who don't know any better would be interested in consent to any of it. I don't like it at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Parker View Post
    The really sad thing is that a big part of the marketing of this atrocity was the whole romance and BDSM and "forbidden" thing sex and how it should be more accepted and so on.

    Sadly, as we've seen in this thread, it's a really bad representation of any and all of these things and now the general public are even more ignorant about it.
    I 100% agree with both of you. This book was apparently written to help society see what it is like inside BDSM relationships and inside the BDSM community, but does an absolutely terrible job of conveying this. This, as Parker says, basically makes society more ignorant than they were when they first started reading this book. And given how many people have read it - as The Man said, it's the fastest selling book in history - that's a lot of people who now have the wrong idea of what BDSM is all about (and are going into sex shops and buying 50 Shades of Grey branded merchandise, which is worrying considering this book has just finished telling them abuse is sexy).

    I agree, Shorty: it's awful that they have made it seem like only timid, meek girls could ever want to consent to being a Submissive. I will also touch on Christian's 'motives' later in the readthrough, but (SPOILER)it's made to look as though only people who have been abused could ever consent to or find pleasure in being a Dominant. I've read the book once before, and that makes me even angrier because I know there is worse to come than you folks have seen if your only exposure to 50 Shades is through this readthrough.

    With the next chapter I will be reviewing the first sex scene in the book, and if you think you've seen terrible things thus far, you ain't seen nothing yet. The first sex scene in the book is supposed to be a 'vanilla' introduction into sex for Ana's sake, but Christians actions are appalling. The following sex scenes depict some actions that would take place in a BDSM relationship, but they're all mixed up with lack of consent and unsafe sexual practices that should never. Of course these unsafe practices do take place within every community somewhere, but to make out like these actions are the norm for BDSM relationships is incredibly ill-informed and makes me very angry at E L James (who apparently researched this stuff).



    Anyway, thank you all for reading my review as I go. It makes me less likely to throw my book against a wall and give up on this task when I know there are people looking at my work and agreeing with the comments I'm making. I want to finish this - and it will probably get to the 50,000 word mark when I do - so thanks for the motivation.
    Last edited by Miss Mae; 04-20-2014 at 02:01 AM. Reason: Line breaks are stupid

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  7. #37
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    I think this review could actually open up some interesting dialogue over BDSM relationships, but it's probably more fit to EoEO instead of TMHQ.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  8. #38
    Word Engineer Miss Mae's Avatar
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    I didn't intend for it to be quite so serious when I started, but as I've been reading I've just been getting angrier about misrepresentation. I really hope my review does open up some dialogue about BDSM relationships, even if only on a superficial level, because I'd hate for people to read these books and consume the information they provide as being factual. I'd be very pleased if my writing could help change that.

    My future is fuelled by the fires of words, wit and companionship.

  9. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    The fact that this was the fastest selling work of "literature" in history has me judging humanity so severely

    That and women are finding it hot, romantic, sexy and attractive. When it's just a man lowering a woman's self- esteem, for sex.

  10. #40
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    Yeah, but people found Twilight romantic too so that doesn't really surprise me. I guess this having originated as Twilight fanfiction should have made it obvious that the depictions of romance and sex in this series would be at least equally bad, but while I knew the books portrayed romance, sex, and particularly BDSM in an unpleasant light, I still somehow didn't expect them to be this bad. It's like the author has never even heard of "safe, sane and consensual".

    Though apparently they've completely watered down the feature film, which is problematic for its own reasons.
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  11. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    Yeah, but people found Twilight romantic too so that doesn't really surprise me.
    yeah but Twilight is aimed at tweens and teenagers, while not healthy for them in the slightest, they can hopefully learn and grow that being stalked is not healthy or romantic and neither is trying to jump off a cliff because you and your boy split up and other terrible Twilight bad advice.

    Sort of like ending that anime weeaboo stage.


    But this is aimed towards women, adults, women that should be knowing better and should know that this novel is not romantic in the slightest and is completely creepy and disturbing as trout, and yet they all loved it, or sort of guilty pleasure, which is still enjoying it, just in secret and have made this stupid book successful.

    When you are 12- 16 years old you cannot marry, and you have time to learn and grow. 20-40 years old, you can, and if the relationship is abusive, leaving becomes almost impossible for you.

    Men are most likely reading this book, believing that this is what women what these days when it comes to love and romance, and women are wanting it, being unaware that this trout is abusive.


    Love and romance is getting crappier and crappier these days, and abusive relationships are being manipulated to look romance and passionate by the media and people who be knowing better.

    Seriously, it's getting to the stage where somebody just opens the door for some guests and I would be asking for that man's hand in marriage.
    Last edited by maybee; 04-21-2014 at 08:27 AM.

  12. #42
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    I feel like both are problematic in their own way. 50 Shades, because women are reading this and should know better than to think this is romantic or whatever, like you said; Twilight because teenagers are its primary audience and it is negatively impacting on a very impressionable audience, teaching them that abuse is acceptable.

    The next time a book like 50 Shades is released, it will be the girls who grew up reading Twilight and allowing themselves to believe its contents are romantic and ideal without questioning the abuse it contains who will want to read it. And then the next Twilight will come out, conditioning the next generation of teenage girls. And so it will continue.

    My future is fuelled by the fires of words, wit and companionship.

  13. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlaynaMae View Post
    I feel like both are problematic in their own way. 50 Shades, because women are reading this and should know better than to think this is romantic or whatever, like you said; Twilight because teenagers are its primary audience and it is negatively impacting on a very impressionable audience, teaching them that abuse is acceptable.

    The next time a book like 50 Shades is released, it will be the girls who grew up reading Twilight and allowing themselves to believe its contents are romantic and ideal without questioning the abuse it contains who will want to read it. And then the next Twilight will come out, conditioning the next generation of teenage girls. And so it will continue.


    Holy smurf

    You're right

  14. #44
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    Here is the first sex scene - what you have all apparently been waiting for (well, some of you on chat anyway). If you're expecting it to be arousing, be ready to be disappointed. This chapter is twice the length of the others I have posted so far, so have fun.

    Chapter Eight - extremely explicit and NSFW

    As a disclaimer at the beginning of this chapter, I would like to briefly disclose my own opinions about virginity, as I would like any readers to understand how my personal biases are and are not affecting this portion of the review. I believe that virginity is a strange concept, as there are few situations where a person is labelled for having never done a particular act and I think the amount of weight virginity is given in our society is entirely unnecessary. That being said, I also believe that sharing somebody’s first experience of sex should be considered a privilege, not a conquest, as a person’s first time should be memorable for all the right reasons, as much as it is possible for both parties.

    Immediately Christian is mad that Ana didn’t tell him sooner that she is a virgin and she is feeling guilty. That dynamic is a little disconcerting.

    Christian expresses his shock, saying ‘virgin’ like it is a ‘really dirty word’. Instead of caring that Christian is taking personal offence to her sexual status, Ana is too busy being excited that he called her ‘beautiful’ as he wondered aloud how she could have lasted this long without having had sex. Just because she is attractive and men have been interested in her, doesn’t mean she was ever obligated to reciprocate, Christian. That might be something worth realising.

    Ana’s subconscious has stopped being dead, waking up in order to rear her ‘somnambulant head’. If something is somnambulant, it ‘walks or has the habit of walking while asleep’ or ‘resembles a sleepwalker’. This is a very obscure adjective to use to describe Ana’s subconscious.

    Ana wonders why the first man she has been interested in having sex with is ‘some kind of monster’. Why would you still be considering entering into a relationship, particularly one so far out of your comfort zone and realm of understanding, with somebody you consider to be a ‘monster’? Because he’s rich and attractive? Because he thinks you’re beautiful? Those are not good enough reasons to persevere with this if you are genuinely scared of him.

    Christian tells Ana that they are going to ‘“rectify the situation right now”’. Firstly, this order is by no means out of character for him, but he is now ordering somebody to lose their virginity when they haven’t agreed to any of the terms and conditions of the relationship he is aiming to initiate when he explicitly said he wasn’t going to touch her again until the paperwork was signed because consent is important to him. Secondly, considering Ana’s virginity to be a ‘situation’ that he needs to ‘rectify’ is incredibly dismissive – surely Ana is able to recognise that any man referring to her virginity in this way is not going to treat her as well as somebody who cares enough about being her first sexual partner that they will want to look after her and ensure she enjoys herself.

    Recently, in a melodramatic line I’m sure you remember, Christian said that he doesn’t make love, and yet he tells Ana that he is going to ‘“make love”’ to her now. She comments on this, saying, ‘“I thought you didn’t make love.”’ He supposes he can make an exception. If he can make an exception to this rule, what other rules can and will he make exceptions to in future? I’m curious what his idea of ‘making love’ entails given that so far he has treated the idea of Ana’s virginity with anger and the desire to fix it as quickly as possible.

    Christian says that Ana’s ‘“training”’ can start tonight. Once again, I need to highlight that no paperwork has been signed and therefore no arrangement has been decided upon yet, so the idea that Christian is taking Ana’s virginity as part of her ‘training’ is really disturbing. He also says that ‘making love’ with her so that she loses her virginity is ‘“a means to an end.”’ Who wouldn’t love to have sex with somebody who has such disregard for their partner’s first time? Sign me up. Also, ‘“means to an end”’ brings us to cliché count: 17.

    Ana’s thoughts in response to this proposal are ‘oh my… wishes do come true.’ I can’t even begin to communicate my distaste for this. Which part of what Christian has said thus far has been a wish come true? Just that he has agreed to have sex with her? I cannot fathom why she still wants to have sex with him, given everything she has seen and heard (the playroom, the contract and the utter disrespect he has had for her being a virgin), and given how she has responded to it along the way (fear, albeit less than is probably warranted, and referring to Christian as a monster). Even without his Dominant status, she is placing him in a dangerous position of power by being so incapable of resisting him.

    Christian, murmuring again, says ‘“Please, Ana, let me make love to you.”’ This phrase is strange, because it depicts the act of Christian doing something to Ana, rather than the act of Christian and Ana doing something together. It is ‘let me make love to you’ and not ‘let us make love’. And yes, if he said the latter I would be criticising him for his formal language (‘can we make love’ might have been a better, less formal option, but it doesn’t carry the same parallelism with the original), but Christian’s apparent idea that love making is an act that a man performs on a woman is a very skewed way of thinking. This could be subtle characterisation of Christian and the way he sees sex, which would make sense given that usually sex for him involves a Dominant who performs acts on or directs a Submissive, but I find it hard to believe the depiction of Christian’s character could be nuanced like this when every other aspect of his character has been provided as a very obvious breadcrumb thus far.

    When Ana agrees to Christian’s request, his smile is ‘triumphant’. There are many feelings a person could express when it is decided they are about to become another person’s first sexual partner – a person might feel humbled, or privileged, or excited – but triumphant? That’s an incredibly self-absorbed way for Christian to approach something that should be about Ana.

    Ana, excited and nervous about the prospect of losing her virginity to the intimidating Christian Grey, still has time to provide a detailed explanation of the whites and pale blues, wood and wall art that decorate his bedroom.

    Christian ‘removes his jacket’ on page 111 after having already done this on page 94; either Christian was wearing two jackets, or he likes to put his jacket back on when he moves between rooms and Ana didn’t think this was worth mentioning, or this is evidence of an error.

    It is revealed Ana is attracted to naked feet as she describes in detail the process of Christian taking off his ‘Converse’ and socks.

    Christian introduces the topic of protection in the line ‘“I assume you’re not on the pill.”’ When Ana’s shocked expression confirms his suspicion, he removes a packet of condoms from a nearby drawer. He then removes Ana’s jacket, but it isn’t stated where Christian puts the condoms. He either put the packet down and Ana deemed it unnecessary to narrate this action, which is unlikely given she likes to comment on Christian’s every superfluous movement, or he is still holding it in his hand as he takes off her jacket and while performing every action after that, or this is evidence of another error.

    ‘“Do you have any idea how much I want you, Ana Steele?”’ Christian asks, apparently so excited by the prospect of claiming Ana’s virginity that he forgets that his character quirk is to always call her Anastasia, even though she’s asked him not to. This could again be subtle characterisation – perhaps the idea of having sex with Ana has convinced Christian to start paying attention to her preferences? I am interested to take note of whether this change is a permanent one.

    ‘“Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you?”’ Christian asks. This is a terrifying question to ask somebody who has never had sex before. No, she doesn’t have any idea what you’re going to do to her – maybe you should tell her so she can give you her full consent and can relax rather than being so nervous that you’re almost certainly going to hurt her, Christian?

    He touches her, she moans, she touches him, he groans, she thinks about how ‘hot’ Christian is constantly, the word ‘backside’ is used repeatedly and the word ‘there’ is used instead of some synonym for vagina because Ana, and maybe E L James, can’t find one that doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable.

    Ana is also wearing Converse and I’m wondering why this name drop is necessary. Can’t they just be shoes? Does knowing they are Converse add anything to the scene? Does E L James know any other shoe brands?

    Christian undresses Ana and then tells her to show him how she ‘pleasures’ herself. ‘“Don’t be coy, Ana,”’ he continues, using her preferred name. I’d be impressed, but a few lines earlier he called her Anastasia again, so it’s mostly just inconsistency at this point.

    ‘“How do you make yourself come?”’ he asks. But, of course, sweet, innocent, bookworm-who-can’t-play-sports Ana has never made herself orgasm. Christian receives this information with disbelief. I don’t understand his tactic here. While understanding how a woman masturbates is a window to how to please her, I’m not sure why he thought making Ana, who is inexperienced and already nervous, feel more uncomfortable and anxious by suggesting she expose herself completely and without warning was in any way a good idea.

    Christian tells Ana to keep still but she squirms beneath him. ‘“We’re going to have to work on keeping you still, baby,”’ he says. His use of the word ‘baby’ has almost no affection attached to it based on the context, making it sound awkward. The idea that he is trying to force her to be still before she has consented to any of the rules for their potential future Dominant/Submissive relationship makes me squeamish – she can react to you in any way she pleases at this point, Christian, as she hasn’t agreed to anything beyond being herself yet.

    Christian plays with Ana’s nipples for a few moments and says ‘“Let’s see if we can make you come like this.”’ Actually, he doesn’t say it, he whispers it. He then proceeds to play with Ana’s breasts for two short paragraphs until Ana has her first ever orgasm. Christian looks satisfied while Ana looks at him with ‘gratitude and awe’. While it is possible for somebody to orgasm from this sort of attention, I find it hard to believe that Ana’s first orgasm, particularly when she is so nervous and in such a short space of time, was achieved in this way. But what do I know – maybe Christian is just outrageously talented.

    He fingers her roughly and without warning. For somebody who has never experienced any sort of sexual contact, even from herself, this seems like a potentially painful and not particularly respectful introduction.

    Upon first looking at Christian’s erection, Ana is immediately shocked by his ‘considerable length’ and worried that he’s not going to fit inside her. I can’t help but roll my eyes at this paragraph. These lines reek of the sort of praise designed solely to stroke a man’s ego, so I am wondering why E L James has deemed it necessary to include them. Perhaps they are supposed to further highlight how intimidated Ana feels in Christian’s presence, both mentally and physically.

    Oh no… Will it? How?’ Ana thinks as she looks at Christian’s erection, presumably wondering if it will fit inside her. Christian tells Ana not to worry and says ‘“You expand, too.”’ I find it hard to believe that this concept is so foreign to Ana, even if she hasn’t had any sexual experiences. I also find this line altogether uncomfortable.

    I’m still not sure where the packet has been all of this time, but Christian puts a condom on. I’m all for hearing about safe sex practices, but it seems like a strange detail to include. Condoms are renowned for their ability to put a dampener on the mood in real life, so in this fantastical world I thought an artistic choice to not pause in order to put on a condom would have been made.

    We approach Ana’s first experience of penetrative sex. ‘“I’m going to smurf you now, Miss Steele,”’ Christian murmurs. As soon as he is about to have sex with her, he not only stops calling her by her preferred name, but stops using her first name at all. This strips the moment of all intimacy and does little to support Christian’s claim that he is ‘making love’ to Ana.

    ‘“Hard,”’ Christian adds (in a whisper, of course) before he ‘slams into [her]’. With little warning, this man has fully inserted his length into a girl who has never had sex before, who is nervous and who, supposedly, recently orgasmed. Her muscles would be tightly contracted for all three of these reasons, so to penetrate her so suddenly would have more than likely hurt her. This is an incredibly disrespectful and selfish action, and if it wasn’t already clear that Christian’s idea of ‘making love’ is incredibly flawed, it’s definitely clear now.

    Christian gazes down at Ana, his eyes ‘bright with ecstatic triumph’. I have already mentioned how I feel about Christian’s expression of triumph in regards to conquering Ana’s virginity, so I won’t list my issues with this term again.

    ‘“You’re so tight,”’ Christian says. Even if this was a compliment, it’s a particularly crude one that continues to go against Christian’s statement that he is ‘making love’ to Ana; however, in context this line sounds more like Christian is acknowledging a challenge he must overcome. I would like to teach Christian something about the female anatomy that he obviously wasn’t taught in school. Ana feels particularly tight to you because: firstly, you did not help her relax enough when she is obviously still very nervous; secondly, you were too fast, hard and quick for her body to learn to accommodate you properly; and thirdly, you did not give her enough attention before slamming your penis into her.

    Christian then asks, ‘“You okay?”’ I am less than impressed that Christian cared about how ‘tight’ Ana is before he cared about whether or not she is okay.

    Ana, who felt a ‘pinching sensation’ when Christian first entered her, calls the feeling of him inside her ‘intrusive’. That’s not a term people use to describe a positive experience.

    Christian calls Ana ‘baby’ again, and once more the context attaches no affection to the term.

    It takes several more thrusts from Christian for Ana to finally say that she felt as though her body was ‘accepting’ him and that she ‘wants this’. I am disappointed, but not surprised, that there was a period of simply tolerating what was occurring before she began enjoying herself and she didn’t think to say anything aloud so that Christian could adjust his behaviour and hopefully improve her experience; then again, I’m not altogether sure he would have successful in his attempt, if he chose to try at all.

    After all of this, Ana can’t stop thinking about how good sex feels. After what couldn’t be more than a couple of minutes, she orgasms again as Christian says, ‘“Come for me, Ana”’. Once again he uses her preferred name and I am still yet to find any reason why he does this sometimes. Christian orgasms almost simultaneously and ‘calls out [her] name’. I’m curious to know which version of her name he uses.

    Ana winces as he withdraws. ‘“Did I hurt you?”’ Christian asks. We have been through this, Christian – I would be very surprised if your actions didn’t hurt her.

    ‘“Seriously, are you okay?”’ Christian asks. Ana doesn’t answer, instead spending a paragraph thinking about how amazed she is that her body is capable of orgasming. She then says that she would like to have more sex.

    Christian looks relieved. He undoes Ana’s bra and removes his shirt. The fact that these items of clothing hadn’t already been removed could indicate a sense of desire so great that neither party felt like they had time to completely undress, but to not be naked for Ana’s first time could also suggest that Christian was rushing the process of taking Ana’s virginity so that he could fix this ‘situation’ as quickly as possible. Mutual nudity conveys the intimacy and trust that I associate with the phrase ‘making love’ so I consider this more evidence disputing Christian’s claim that he is ‘making love’ to Ana.

    This is further emphasised by Christian asking, ‘“Do you want me to smurf you again?”’ Any attempt he was making to convince himself he was ‘making love’ to Ana rather than ‘smurfing’ her has apparently fallen by the wayside now.

    ‘“You are mine,”’ he whispers. ‘“Only mine. Don’t forget it.”’ No, Christian, she isn’t yours. She has no obligation to continue having sex with you if she doesn’t want to. In fact, she doesn’t even have to see you or talk to you again if she doesn’t want to. You are currently having sex, but you have no relationship, formalised via contract or otherwise. She doesn’t owe you anything.

    Christian uses his thumb to finger Ana for a little while. Then, without warning, he puts his thumb in her mouth and tells her to see what she tastes like. Apparently perfectly content with this, Ana sucks ‘wildly’ on his thumb and can taste the ‘metallic tang of blood’. I know that’s my favourite.

    Christian tells Ana that he wants to ‘“smurf her mouth”’ and that he soon will. The shock of this statement causes her to bite his thumb. I wonder if he is still keen to put other body parts in her mouth if she has so little control over her teeth.

    Barely any time has passed since he last orgasmed, but apparently he’s ready to go again. He rips the foil off another condom but there’s no mention of him removing the one he has already used. As I said earlier, artistic license would have allowed E L James to not mention the condom use at all for the sake of allowing her readers to immerse themselves in the scene without it ruining the mood, but if you’re going to go to the trouble of mentioning any condom-related details, you need to include them all or else there are inconsistencies.

    Christian promises to go slowly this time and I wonder why he chose not to do that the first time, when it was arguably more necessary. After a couple of ‘deliberately slow thrusts’, Ana is almost ready to orgasm again. For most women it takes more than a handful of thrusts to bring them this close to a third orgasm, so this seems somewhat unbelievable. I suppose this book is supposed to contain a woman’s fantasies however, and remembering this makes Ana’s ability to orgasm easily and frequently from penetrative sex a little easier to stomach.

    ‘“I want you sore, baby,”’ Christian murmurs. I think Ana and Christian have whispered and murmured more than they’ve actually said so far in this book. Christian then reiterates that Ana is his and that he wants her to remember this every time she moves tomorrow. This is yet another selfish act on Christian’s part, as it shows that he is more concerned with ensuring Ana believes she is his possession and that she is sore tomorrow than he is about her enjoying and having fond memories of her first time.

    Christian tells her ‘“You. Are. Mine”’ yet again, in case Ana has already forgotten this apparent fact. He also calls her ‘“baby”’ again as he orders her to orgasm. This time he growls; it’s nice to see the variety I was asking for, I suppose, but I don’t know if growling is an improvement on whispering and murmuring.

    Ana follows orders and orgasms again; Christian, once again, orgasms simultaneously. Within the space of a few minutes, apparently Christian ejaculates twice. It would take a serious willingness to suspend disbelief for me to accept this. While it is possible for some men to have multiple orgasms over a short period of time, ejaculating twice within a few minutes is incredibly unlikely; however, I must, once again, remember that this book was written to be a woman’s fantasy, so of course Christian can defy the rules of the typical male anatomy.

    After he withdraws a second time and rolls onto ‘his side of the bed’ – I’m not sure what this means, because the entire bed belongs to him – Ana immediately falls asleep.

    Ana wakes up sore but seems to be pleased about it. She hears a piano being played and recognises the melody as Bach. ‘I think,’ she adds. I am failing to understand the relevance of Ana guessing who composed the piece.

    Ana leaves the bedroom and finds Christian at the piano. He notices her and stops playing. She says sorry for disturbing him. ‘“Surely, I should be saying that to you,”’ Christian replies. He seems to be feeling some of the remorse that he should have been experiencing earlier but he doesn’t specify what he is sorry for. Perhaps this is because he has too much to be sorry for.

    Apparently Ana really is fascinated by the composer of the piece, because she is so curious about whether she was correct in saying Bach that she asks Christian. I am still failing to understand the relevance of the seemingly disproportionate focus on this information. For anyone who is interested, she was half correct – the original piece was not Bach’s, but he transcribed it.

    They return to the bedroom and notice blood on the sheets. ‘Evidence of my lost virginity,’ Ana calls the stain. Allow me to take a moment to explain the concept of the hymen to Ana: It is not necessary for a hymen to ‘break’ when a woman loses her virginity. Over time, through age and activity, a hymen is supposed to stretch. This activity includes things like sex and masturbation, which we know Ana had not experienced until this point, but also things like tampon use, riding a bicycle and just general contact with the area. Even if her hymen was fully intact when Christian had sex with her for the first time, it was not necessary to ‘break’ her hymen and make her bleed; if she had been treated more gently, her hymen could have simply stretched. Minor bleeding can occur for a lot of reasons during sex, even years after a woman’s first time, but for Ana to have bled enough to stain the sheets and to then blame it on her loss of virginity as though this is a necessary part of the process is propagating inaccuracies.

    Ana attempts to touch Christian’s bare chest but he doesn’t allow her to, instead ordering her to go back to bed. Ana is apparently going to be a perfect Submissive because she immediately does as she is told.

    As the chapter ends, Christian reverts back to his norm of calling Ana ‘Anastasia’ and she contemplates her recently acquired knowledge that Christian has ‘a sad side’.
    Last edited by Miss Mae; 04-27-2014 at 01:13 PM.

    My future is fuelled by the fires of words, wit and companionship.

  15. #45
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    uuuuuuuuuuuuugh

    Yeah, this is uncomfortable. Does she not remember her first time? I know some girls don't have pain (I did, a little) but as rough as that was, Ana should be in tears, not enjoying herself.

    Also, mutual orgasm is really kind of difficult. Of COURSE they achieve it the very first time they have sex.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

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