Thanks! Together you and I shall rule Gaia as Supreme Overlords! Assuming the planet doesn't die first.Originally Posted by Carl the Llama
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All right, so me and the rest of the group board the train and Zira wants to look at that screen with me but I already seen it. Sorry, Z, you'll have to act faster than that if you want to score. I have a lot of suitors, being the handsome ex-SOLDIER First Class that I am.
Suddenly the lights go out! Red alert! All hands to battle stations! The fake IDs got discovered and now they were doing a whole system sweep of the train. Someone dun goof!
We have to move from cart to cart to avoid being locked down. Some PUNK tried to steal some gil from me but I was having none of that. NONE OF THAT! I cornered that bastard and got my money back with time to spare. I met up with the rest of AVALANCHE to see Biggs, Wedge and Jessie in a disguise. Jessie was dressed up like a man. I complimented Jessie and told her she made a good man. She was happy. She thinks. When I get my dress and wig we can roleplay.
I have a little back and forth with Zira and Baracus says, "Not now you two!" Hey, you're not my daddy! We jump off the train and continue down the tracks until an energy field blocks out path. I find a duct and we go down there to meet up with the others. Jessie, who ditched her disguise apparently, admits that the reason the fake IDs didn't work was because she put more work into mine than the others that triggered the security system on the train. Aww. Don't blame yourself, Jess. You're still my favorite.
We make it inside the Mako Reactor, which looks exactly like the last Mako Reactor. Shinra not a fan of variety, are they? We make it down to the basement and I set another bomb, not before having another freakout. This time I have a flashback of Zira's dead father and Zira going to get revenge on Sephiroth. I don't know what I'm on but it's some good trout, I'll tell you what.
I set the bomb and for some reason there isn't a timer or anything. Oh well. We make it upstairs and have to press three control panels at once to open the door. Ibotch it upget it perfectly on the first try because I was a member of SOLDIER First Class.
By the time we get to the bridge we find ourselves cornered by Shinra and get a visit from the President himself. He asked for my name. Name? You need to know my name!? It's ToriJ, bitch!
President Shinra: You're good, but you're no Sephiroth!
Me: You're starting to piss me off right now!
The President can't stay so he leaves us alone to fight a robot and takes off on a helicopter. The robot separates us and we fight! After beating it the robot explodes taking out the bridge and I'M HANGING ON BY A THREAD! I'm too far away from the others so they can't reach me. Welp, I guess this is goodbye. Short game, what was the other two discs for I wonder?
Don't fret, boys! I don't die. I fall and conveniently crash through the roof of a church and into a flower bed. That how you fall to your death, Tidus. Amateur. While I'm unconscious I hear a voice. Hey! Not you, fool. Aww! Someone is talking to me but smurf if I know who it is. I wake up to meet... FLOWER GIRL! She asks if I remember her, I never forget a face. Especially such a pretty one with green eyes and a bow. Smooth, Tori, real smooth.
We talk, I apologize for ruining her flowers and she introduces herself as... *types in a name* Alexis!
Alexis: No one is going to get that reference either.
Shut up.
Next thing I know I'm her bodyguard in exchange for a date. Works for me. Some weirdo walks into the church and I confront him. He reveals himself to be Reno of the Turks and he's accompanied by Shinra troops. This has the potential to get ugly real quick so we hightail it, but not before Alexis tell them not to step on the flowers.
Reno steps on the flowers. Dick.
We run up the stairs and all is well until the Shinra troops shoot at Alexis -- I don't think they understand how capturing people alive work -- and she falls back down to the floor. I get up on the... rafters? We'll call them rafters. I get up there and start attacking the troops with BARRELS! That's right, no drawn out battles for you. DO A BARREL ROLL! I safely guide Alexis up the stairs and to the roof of the church as Shinra continues to search for us. I guess they didn't think to go up the stairs.
I inquire to why they're after her and she just tells me because they may think she has what it takes to be in SOLDIER. But after leaping from rooftop to rooftop I can see they're dead wrong. We make it to the town in Sector 6 and look around for a bit. While we're exploring we find a sick man in a pipe.
Alexis: This man are sick.
Midgar education at its finest, folks.
We make it to her home that is covered in flowers! This is easily the prettiest part of Midgar I've seen so far. I meet Alexis' mother, she seems nice. I tell Alexis I need to head back to Zira's bar. Alexis asks if she's a girlfriend. I shake my head no and she laughs. Alexis tells her mom she's going to escort me to Sector 7 but her mother manages to convince her to go to bed first and then ask if I can leave without her. All right, all right, I'll leave.
After getting some rest and another flashback about my mother telling me I should date an older woman, I sneak out of Alexis' house and head to Sector 7!
Only to be cut off by Alexis.
SON OF A BITCH!
How the hell did you cut me off when you couldn't even keep up with me before? Screw it, I guess I'm bringing you with me. We make it through a Construction Yard where we're ambushed by...
A HOUSE! A SMURFING HOUSE IS BOMBING US WHAT THE SMURF IS THIS TROUT?! IS THIS SECRET? IS THIS WHAT THE BEGINNER'S HALL WAS WARNING ME ABOUT?!
We managed to defeat the terrifying house and make it to a swingset and climb on top of the slide. Alexis gets to talk about her ex-boyfriend who apparently was also in SOLDIER. But when I asked who it was she wouldn't give me a name. Alex, I swear to Gaia, if that name is Sephiroth I am going to go ballistic!
During this a carriage -- who uses carriages anymore -- rides past us and I spot Zira in the back in a blue dress. I don't know, red and black seems more her colors. Anyway, after I recognize and call out her name Alexis runs after them despite my protest and I follow her, making our way to Wall Market. Oh, hey, Johnny. The smurf you doing here?
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