So I decided to name all my good/great chocobos after members of EOFF to see which of you would be the most potent producer of quality chocobos. Obviously I couldn't include all of you (especially if your username is more than 6 letters) so don't be offended if I didn't use you in my wild chocobo, tantric, tantal green-infused, sex antics.

I started out by catching six great chocobos from Mideel and intended on using the two with the highest stats to breed my first green/blue giant chicken. Here are the stats (pre-greens) for the first six chocobos that I caught.

Locky - Top Speed - 70
- Stamina - 362
Freya - Top Speed - 63
- Stamina 359
Jinx - Top Speed - 66
- Stamina 327
Shorty - Top Speed - 66
- Stamina - 325

Sephex - Top Speed - 73
- Stamina 362
Jiro - Top Speed - 48
- Stamina 312

Not a bad haul, I thought. Obviously, my first job was to take Jiro behind the chocobo barn and blow his head off with a double-barrelled shotgun, sorry man. There's no room for runts in my litter.

Jinx and Shorty have a decent turn of pace but unfortunately have all the stamina of a 50-year-old, arthritic camel with no legs. They were next with the shotgun.

After placing Freya in the reserves, the obvious choices were Locky and Sephex. After gorging themselves silly on expensive greens and stretching their legs at Gold Saucer, they were quite ready for a little 'barn time'. They go at it. A couple of sessions produced two healthy green chocobos, one male and one female. An excellent start.

Sephex being the player that he is, decided that one chocobo was not enough. Freya was brought into the fold after Locky could not produce an illusive blue. Many sweaty sessions later and there was still no hint of blue anywhere... not that Sephex was complaining. It was time for some drastic action. Some new feathers were brought into the fray.

Parker - Top Speed - 82
- Stamina - 327


Hold the phone. The chocobo equivalent of Usain Bolt has arrived. Parker simply strutted into barn, put his feet up and simply said "feed me". Sephex was immediately shot but had a satisfied smile on his face until the last. After having some extra Tantal Greens to boost his poor stamina, Parker was fed, raced and ready for action. Freya and Locky were equally as accomodating with Parker as they were with Sephex. Surely this time, surely...

Following the production of 15 green chocobos, Parker, Freya and Locky were mysteriously chopped up, burned alive and their ashes scattered to the winds. It was time for a fresh start... and the greatest union of two beings since Adam and Eve.

Bubba - Top Speed - 70
- Stamina 362
Quinoa - Top Speed - 66
- Stamina 359

Bubba and Quinoa were destined to be together, it seemed. They were caught in two consecutive fights. They couldn't even be separated in the holding pen. I believe their love was pure. As Quinoa was penetrated in the barn, you got the sense that something special was happening. Bubba's long strokes were gentle but sure. The resultant blue chocobo will go down as one of the most majestic creatures ever to grace a Final Fantasy world...


EDIT: Oh yeah, thread topic. What have been the most memorable names you have given your chocobos when breeding?