Let's Play: The Elder Scrolls I: Arena - Got The Moves Like Jagar!

[Pike]

I wander around the dungeon for quite some time killing things.

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Lizard man dead

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Level three!

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At some point the above occurs in the middle of resting. My first thought was that I had DIED IN MY SLEEP but it turns out I was just having some sort of vision or something? Dead Chick, please.

After my dream, I continue exploring. I round a corner and...

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I'VE GOT PILES

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LOADS OF MONEY

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SORRY MATE, I DON'T TAKE CHECKS. JUST LOADS OF GEAR!

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Level four!

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Oh HO! What is THIS? Is it... can it be...

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...OLDSCHOOL ANTI-PIRACY CHECKS!

Fortunately I looked up the price on UESP and away I went! Outside of the dungeon, and into the daylight...

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...or not.

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Seeing as there's a giant volcano in front of me, I'm guessing I'm somewhere in Morrowind. Llendys is home! :')

[Pike]

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What is this? I've stumbled upon a town of some sort?

But everything appears to be closed! How dare these people go and... sleep!

I wander around for a while desperately trying to find an inn. And failing miserably.

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I did find this pretty building! Alas, it, too, is closed.

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Oh, what's this?

"Sorry honey, I don't like dark elf boys much."

...bitch

There are all manner of wolves, lizardmen, goblins, wizards, and so on wandering around the town at night like they own the place. On the upside they've dropped some phat lewt, and now I look like Aquaman.

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For real.

I keep stumbling across these mysterious ladies, though. I wonder what THEY'RE doing out so late at night? They'd best go in before they run across a wizard, or worse, catch cold!

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How rude!

Eventually, though, one of them directs me to an inn, and I succeed in getting a good night's sleep on what appears to be a bed made out of solid concrete.

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I wonder what adventures await me next!

[Madame Adequate]

I genuinely thought the town was underground for a second, the complete absence of any sort of skybox at night is simply darling

I guess if the streets are crawling with all kinds of asshole monsters it does make sense to close for the night, though? Maybe they should pay their taxes so the city can pay the guards to patrol, or better yet institute social programs that prevent disadvantaged lizardmen and goblins turning to lives of crime in the first place.

[Loony BoB]

"Dark Elf? Ew. Sorry, I only whore out to respectable clientelle that walk around at night. So, lizardmen, werewolves, goblins, that sort of thing."

[Pike]

I woke up the next morning, went outside, and was promptly greeted with the beautiful sight of... fog, because there is no skybox.

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Next up it was time to ask around for jobs, because I want to go kill things!

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Nope, nothin' at the church. Hi Preacher Man!

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JUST LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL VIEW. LOOK AT THAT HI-RES FOG. I guess it could be ashes from Red Mountain maybe

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I dunno this sounds really complicated Sundas is tomorrow, after all! But Llendys doesn't care because he's a DUNMER DAMNIT Brazenly he hits accept.

What long and perilous journey awaits us on our way to this Howling Ship??

...

...not much of one, apparently, because the place he wants us to escort someone to is literally right next door.

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Llendys's face upon taking his reward:



WELL, let's see about getting something a little more exciting, then, shall we?

Back outside we go.

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Okay, enough of that. Back to the grindstone.

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Look at this beefy guy He's going to spend SEVEN FECKIN DAYS repairing my broadsword. Fortunately I'm rolling in dough allowing me to just buy a new one in the interim.

NOW LET'S GO DUNGEON DIVING OR SOMETHING

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OKAY GUYS THIS IS IT, THIS TIME IT'S GONNA HAPPEN

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The Mages Guild. Okay. Got it.

...this is gonna be right next door again, isn't it?

...

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...



And he has the NERVE to be in a building that is clearly marked for Azura, covered with moon and stars!

Next time there had better be some bloody dungeons to roam!

[Formalhaut]

Is there such a thing as a sky and clouds in Morrowind?

[Pike]

Is there such a thing as a sky and clouds in Morrowind?

There are in some locations! Such as the Grazelands. It's really pretty there!

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[Loony BoB]

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[Pike]

I decided that maybe it's time to look into the Main Quest. Dead Chick said I had to find Fang Lair, didn't she? I snagged someone and asked where that was.

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H... Hammerfell? But... but I'm in Morrowind! That's on the other side of the continent!

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LOOK AT THIS trout

...fortunately fast travel exists!

NEXT STOP: HAMMERFELL

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Where the men are men!

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And the women are, uh... huh.

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They just walk around like this. I'm not even kidding. I don't think there's a single fully-clothed woman in this town.

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WAIT! WAIT I'VE FOUND ONE!

She's the queen and I don't even think she's a proper Redguard (if she was, she wouldn't be wearing anything, clearly ) Breton National Party please go.

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TLDR, she wants me to go find a parchment before she tells me where Fang's Lair is.

Llendys' official response:



DUNGEON TIME!

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FULL GRIMDARK (as an aside you guys aren't getting the full effect of this dungeon because it's filled with spooky zombie noises and mysterious opening doors and trout)

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I AM THE KING OF THE RATS

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I AM THE KING OF EXPERIENCE

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Llendys wanders around aimlessly for a while bashing things in before finding a key!

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Into the door where we always pay our debts.

Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be much behind the door, so after some more wandering around I head back to town to repair and buy more potions.

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Thanks WizardBro!

Back into the dungeon. At some point Llendys hits level seven, which is pretty good.

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He battles a variety of things including some skeletons (who are a pain in the arse), zombie ghoul monsters (who are an even bigger pain in the arse and actually do me in a couple of times), and finally...

Is that...

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Got myself a parchment!

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Back to the Breton imposter.

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Fang Lair is way up in the corner of this province. Fortunately, we still have fast travel. Thank Azura!

I'm gonna go head up to that town up there and then call it good for now...

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...

[Pumpkin]

Well this seems like an... interesting game

[theundeadhero]

The sellswords he hired died crossing the street? hahahahahahaahahaha

[Loony BoB]

The sellswords he hired died crossing the street? hahahahahahaahahaha

Run over by a carriage.

[Psychotic]

PET THE SNAKE

PET THE SNAKE!

[Pike]

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!

What horrors could possibly await us inside! (It's a Dwemer ruin apparently but it looks nothing like one )

...

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SKELETONS!

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LEVEL EIGHT!

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MORE SKELETONS!!

I scoured the entire first floor of this dungeon and found a buttload of skeletons and some loot (which conveniently respawns when you exit and re-enter the dungeon ) There are mine shafts which head deep underground, but I haven't explored those yet! Perhaps that should be my next plan of action, however.

[Madame Adequate]

I GREET MY SKELETAL BRETHREN!