I decided that maybe it's time to look into the Main Quest. Dead Chick said I had to find Fang Lair, didn't she? I snagged someone and asked where that was.

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H... Hammerfell? But... but I'm in Morrowind! That's on the other side of the continent!

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LOOK AT THIS trout

...fortunately fast travel exists!

NEXT STOP: HAMMERFELL

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Where the men are men!

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And the women are, uh... huh.

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They just walk around like this. I'm not even kidding. I don't think there's a single fully-clothed woman in this town.

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WAIT! WAIT I'VE FOUND ONE!

She's the queen and I don't even think she's a proper Redguard (if she was, she wouldn't be wearing anything, clearly ) Breton National Party please go.

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TLDR, she wants me to go find a parchment before she tells me where Fang's Lair is.

Llendys' official response:



DUNGEON TIME!

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FULL GRIMDARK (as an aside you guys aren't getting the full effect of this dungeon because it's filled with spooky zombie noises and mysterious opening doors and trout)

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I AM THE KING OF THE RATS

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I AM THE KING OF EXPERIENCE

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Llendys wanders around aimlessly for a while bashing things in before finding a key!

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Into the door where we always pay our debts.

Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be much behind the door, so after some more wandering around I head back to town to repair and buy more potions.

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Thanks WizardBro!

Back into the dungeon. At some point Llendys hits level seven, which is pretty good.

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He battles a variety of things including some skeletons (who are a pain in the arse), zombie ghoul monsters (who are an even bigger pain in the arse and actually do me in a couple of times), and finally...

Is that...

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Got myself a parchment!

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Back to the Breton imposter.

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Fang Lair is way up in the corner of this province. Fortunately, we still have fast travel. Thank Azura!

I'm gonna go head up to that town up there and then call it good for now...

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...