Let's Play: The Elder Scrolls I: Arena - Got The Moves Like Jagar!

[Pike]

This game has a bunch of intros. First this one:



And then this one:

Uriel Septim IV, Emperor of Tamriel, stand with Talin, leader of the Imperial Guards.

They have been summoned by Jagar Tharn, Battlemage of the Empire, on rumors of treachery...

The Emperor is betrayed...

And transported to a dimension of Tharn's choosing...

After months of preparation Jagar Tharn takes the throne...

Ria Silmane, once Tharn's apprentice, is captured before she can warn the Elder Council of the Imperial Battle Mage's treachery...

Manipulating the essence of magic, Tharn prepares to take the true Emperor's place as ruler of the known land...

The Imperial Wizard wastes no time in gathering his servants...

And turning them into twisted counterparts of the Emperors Guard...

ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE CUTEST MAP OF TAMRIEL YOU'VE EVER SEEN FOLLOWED BY WAKING UP IN A DUNGEON?

[Madame Adequate]

HAPPENING

[Ayen]

I see we're going old school.

I am in.

[Loony BoB]

I look forward to this.

[Psychotic]

Always the prisoner, never the prison guard.

[Formalhaut]

Never seen the game before. I'd be interesting to see what it's like. I've only seen the more recent ones!

[Pike]

Time to choose my class! I'm picking Warrior because I like smashing things in the head when I play TES.

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I'm going to be a Dunmer, aka Dark Elf Master Race, so I have to give myself a sort of Welsh elf name because that's just how the Dunmer roll.

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And I'm also going to be a male because HOT DUNMER BOYS.

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And now it's time! Time for the cutest little map of Tamriel you've ever seen

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D'awww!

And for the record, this is what it looks like today:



So it's actually not terribly far off.

Obviously we're picking Morrowind

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Anyways, they gave me a bunch of base points plus about 15 unallocated ones, which I mostly dumped into Strength. I also promptly made myself a ginger. Because all of the guys with gray hair looked like an anorexic Gandalf.

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Soon after some dead chick showed up and told me a bunch of stuff primarily about how there's a key to the north (or something) and then I have to go south and west to escape the dungeon (or something) Llendys was rather about the whole situation, because he's a Dunmer and as such really just wants to go back home so he can ride guars around and eat horses and stuff.

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Eventually Dead Chick ended the whole thing in true Princess Leia fashion by pointing out that I'm her only hope.

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And then... I am unceremoniously dumped in a dungeon. Facing the wall.

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It begins.

[Flying Mullet]

Why doesn't Llendys smile?

[Madame Adequate]

Dunmer have nothing to smile about.

[Pike]

Dunmer have nothing to smile about.

This.

Their entire existence has been cursed by the gods. Dunmer do not smile.

[Flying Mullet]

Then Llendys should do happy things.

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[Loony BoB]

"The Great Llendys! You are our only hope!"

"...really? Really? The guy in a dungeon is your only hope? Oh man. You guys suck at hope."

"Wait, dungeon? ...What's your surname?"

[Ayen]

It's a mind smurf just thinking about how far this series have come since its first installment. I mean, damn.

[Psychotic]

Those are some sweet tight leather pants.

[Pike]

I turn around and am greeted with this cheery description! Thanks, Dungeon Master!

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I also discover a key. It takes poor Llendys about five minutes to figure out how to pick it up because I guess he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer...

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...but eventually he manages it!

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LET'S GET THIS BAD BOY OPEN!

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Llendys heads out into the unknown. It appears that someone has left a bunch of junk just lying around in the dungeon. What a shame! I'm sure no one will mind if I just, you know, borrow it.

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Now Llendys is one ballin' mer. Apparently he had a broadsword hanging around too, which no one thought to take from him when they tossed him in the dungeon.

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Totally ready to go attack spiders and whatever else is in starter dungeons.

I begin heading west as Princess Organa told me to do, and soon hear some horrifying zombie noises emanating from the walls. But it turns out it's only...

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RATS!!

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HAIRY JAPANESE BASTARDS!!

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And now I have Tuberculosis...

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