I can truly imagine Queen Rhaella calling it a frozen trouthole too. Her family has been through so much and now she's gotta go into the least hospitable place in Westeros to deal with some glorified cavemen. smurf me, what a trout experience.
streme Wheelie
Recognized Member
I can truly imagine Queen Rhaella calling it a frozen trouthole too. Her family has been through so much and now she's gotta go into the least hospitable place in Westeros to deal with some glorified cavemen. smurf me, what a trout experience.
CK2 is currently experiencing 66% off on Steam. I just picked it up on the back of this thread and if you're thinking of doing the same, now is the hour!
Hooray!
Yeah CK2 was a great game at launch and has only got better as more content has arrived. There's also a wealth of mods aside from this one, such as Elder Kings (TES) and Lux Invicta (Billions of religions and cultures) and someone's making a crazy sci-fi mod and I don't even know.
Crazy sci-fi mod??I need to get in on this.
I've never played a Paradox game so I don't have a smurfing clue what I'm doing. I played as Littlefinger in Feast For Crows and married one of the Sand Snake girls, then she had a stillborn and died shortly after aged 25. Not to worry there's plenty more of them, so I married another one and got her pregnant and then I learned she was 14 as I needed to appoint a guardian oh smurf. Throughout this entire time I had been imprisoning and then executing anyone who had any sort of plot at all (I don't even know if they were all against me. Indeed some were against the Arryn kid and some idk who they were against) regardless of the outcomes of their trials. Eventually I smurfed up and failed to capture some dude so he rose up in rebellion with the entire Riverlands so I quit
Chapter 19: Taming the Wild Men
19.1.jpg
They have taken to calling me Queen Rhaella The Restorer. It is a flattering name and one I would like to think is deserved. I have restored House Targaryen to the Iron Throne. I have brought The Reach back into the Seven Kingdoms. Still, if the epithet is to be heartfelt rather than an irony, I must restore the Seven Kingdoms to seven, not six. I remind myself that I am also the Queen under whom The North was lost, so my legacy is far from secure.
19.2.jpg
19.3.jpg
I can summon some thirty thousand men at present for my own command. I call up every one and order them massed in King’s Landing. My intentions are simple. We shall split into three armies of approximately ten thousand soldiers apiece. I shall lead one, Kennett another, Boremund Baratheon the third. The first two shall proceed on foot on the long march northwards whilst Boremund’s host will board a fleet of ships and make for Skagos. It is remote; either Jarl will allow the islands to fall, which gives us a base in The North, or he will dispatch men to retake it. If he does that, it means there are a lot of soldiers we don’t have to fight further south.
When my armies arrive we will have to assess the situation before committing but, as it stands, my intention is to slowly move up The Neck, beginning at The Twins and moving on to Moat Cailin. Moat Cailin is one of the keys to The North. If we can take it the land lies open to us. If not, we shall be stuck and unable to move forwards.
19.4.jpg
19.5.jpg
Before my own army, the first to depart, can even reach Harrenhal, I am brought word of multiple problems within my realm. Barion Tully has managed to get himself into wars with no fewer than two other Lord Paramountcies, The Reach and The Vale, in two different wars over minor territorial concerns. Lady Margaery implores me to assist her defense of The Vale, but I decline. I have no inclination to help my vassals war among themselves, and even if I did I’m busy with The North, and even if I wasn’t I don’t have the manpower to fight The Riverlands at this time.
19.6.jpg
We have almost reached The Twins when I am brought sad news. My friend Moelle, who I have known and trusted since childhood, has been killed. I had sent her to Winterfell to gather information and perhaps try to sabotage the relations between Jarl and his vassals, but apparently she was discovered and he had her quietly killed. Damn him again. I relay word to King’s Landing that I will appoint a new Master of Whisperers upon my return but for the time being, the role shall be filled by my son Aelix. He is totally inept at intrigue but I have no time to consider myself with worthy successors - I merely need the post filled. Perhaps it will teach Aelix something of the world of smoke and shadows, too.
19.7.jpg
19.8.jpg
As we cross The Twins and move towards Greywater Watch, a raven brings word that Boremund’s army has been assembled and is setting sail. I wonder if I shouldn’t redirect it to reinforce us, seeing as we have little hope of reinforcements from my other oh-so-loyal vassals, but decide for the time being to keep the orders as they were. I’ll see the lot of them punished for treason. Dorne, The Reach, The Westerlands and Riverlands, and The Vale are now all involved in wars. The Iron Islands sit quietly, Harmund Greyjoy apparently having no interest in serving his liege. However, Lord Ulf of Old Wyk - who has emerged independent from the Iron Islands’ many internal conflicts - has committed to my cause and sailed almost six thousand Ironborn to attack Karhold. How they got there so fast I cannot fathom, but it is far from unwelcome.
19.9.jpg
When we arrive in Greywater Watch my scouts inform me that a large Northern army of about 18000 men is just a few days away. Kennett is, by contrast, a full month behind me. Ten thousand of my men against eighteen thousand enemies. I don’t like those odds, but I tell nobody of this - I just order the men to prepare defenses for the inevitable fight. To my shock the Northern army ceases its advance and draws back. Perhaps they sensed a ruse? Perhaps their information was inaccurate and we seemed larger than we are? Perhaps our information was wrong and they were smaller? No matter, it is a huge relief and should give Kennett time to arrive.
19.10.jpg
Of course Lord Harmund cannot resist the opportunity. He seeks to conquer his own wayward vassal and has launched an attack on Old Wyk. Unlikely they will last long with so many soldiers away. Is there a single lord in this entire damned world who serves the realm instead of their own interests?
19.11.jpg
19.12.jpg
As Kennett’s army meets and reinforces ours I get word that Boremund has landed at Driftwood Hall in Skagos and is beginning to besieges the frozen wastes the Skagosi are unlucky enough to inhabit. Meanwhile the army north of Greywater Watch has moved north again, though I dare not send forces north piecemeal in case it’s a trick. I resign myself to a long and grim winter war, besieging provinces one by one and losing more men to desertion and hunger than arrows and pikes.
19.13.jpg
19.14.jpg
My efforts to divert Jarl’s attention seem to have succeeded. Scouts from the Old Wyk army report over 40,000 men moving towards Skagos. A couple of days later news revises that number upwards to almost 60,000 - the great majority of Jarl's numbers. I’m not especially concerned by the prospect of losing Boremund, but the men are important. Hopefully he will withdraw sensibly. I still do not move my own forces north, this is only two thirds of Jarl’s forces accounted for and plenty more could be waiting to pounce if we divide.
19.15.jpg
We’ve been besieging the major settlements of Greywater Watch when I am struck by an awful realization. I am growing old. I’m in my forty-seventh year and I can no longer move with the speed and agility I once could, and I tire far more easily. I am no longer a very competent swordsman. I know the forms and stances and strikes, but I can barely execute them anymore. My time on the battlefield is coming to a close, I suspect, but for now, for one last time, Queen Rhaella will ride and smite her foes.
19.16.jpg
Boremund did indeed retreat at a sensible time. We lost four thousand give hundred men, but the enemy lost seven thousand. Not the worst accounting. Still in the eyes of many this was a sound defeat and the Iron Throne’s forces were driven back to their ships.
19.17.jpg
Greywater Watch is ours and I order the armies to move north into Silvereed, towards the only castle between here and Moat Cailin. We may be able to assail that fortress, but even if we succeed I feel this is only the start of a long and harsh war.
I'm in the middle of ASoIaF wiki spiral because of SkagosTypical Westerosi though, engaging in their bickering game of thrones when there is a real threat brewing.
Jarl has upwards of 100,000 men? Jesus.
streme Wheelie
Recognized Member
Rough. D:
Yeah I'm basically smurfed. If I'd had a couple of Lord Paramountcies come in like they were supposed to I would have a strong chance but I've sent 30,000 men against some insane number and immediately had every last Lord Paramount turn to their own absurd bickering.Originally Posted by Raistlin
Peak Westeros, of course, just as Paul said.
So what you're saying is that the great Targaryen reclaiming of the Iron Throne will last about 3 seconds before your army gets wiped the smurf out by invaders.
... this sounds like something that may actually happen in ASoIaF.
Make it the best three seconds of your life.
Chapter 20: Fighting a Land War in The North in Winter
The North. The grim bloody North. I have to remind myself why we’re even making the effort. I’ve heard more than one man grumble about letting the Wildlings have this frozen wasteland and although I brought them up sharply on that, I can’t say I don’t share the sentiment. But I have to reunite the Seven Kingdoms and drive the Wildlings back, I have to restore The Wall and the Night’s Watch.
20.1.jpg
20.2.jpg
I get word that Boremund’s army, ragged though it is, is attempting to make landfall and meet with Old Wyk’s forces in the Karhold. Despite the siege of Old Wyk itself, no recall order has come to Ulf Grimm’s army. They would have little chance of returning to the Iron Islands in time to fight and no chance of winning that fight, but the loyalty nonetheless is heartening. At least one lord in this realm knows his duty, even if he is just a boy of eleven. Whether his forces will remain once Old Wyk falls and Ulf gives his surrender to Harmund Greyjoy I cannot say.
20.3.jpg
The Wildlings arrive just before Boremund’s army, but they are fairly evenly matched and my side has the defensive advantage, being dug in near the village of Barbleton.
20.4.jpg
I must press the issue. The other lords and ladies are prevaricating, but Lady Margaery is kin through her marriage to my son Aegor. Perhaps with his help I can convince her to join my war instead of wasting thousands of men in a fight over Crab’s blasted Shore. Who in the seven hells launches a war over Crab’s Shore? Barion Tully, apparently.
20.5.jpg
By the Seven, Aegor has done it! Just hours after our arrival in Silvereed, I am brought a message from Lady Margaery. She informs me that she will absolutely honor her obligations. I am informed she currently has around 25,000 men, which could be better. How many of those will come my way I cannot say. Still, it is better by far than nothing at all. Perhaps I can find ways to pressure the other Lords.
20.6.jpg
The High Septon has died. I dread to give this thought words, but I do wonder whether this passing is a sign from the Gods that my efforts against The North are not blessed. Well, it hardly matters now. Soon they will select a new High Septon and that will be that.
20.7.jpg
Another setback, of course. Why would I experience anything that is not a setback when I am seated on this damned throne? My armies in the Karhold have been conclusively defeated and scattered. The survivors run straight into an even larger Northern army and half my men are cut down before they can reach the ships of my fleet. I order the handful of ragged, worn survivors to sail for my main army. They no longer have the numbers to be effective on their own.
20.8.jpg
Boremund is dead. He was not, it seems, among those who made it back to the ships but was instead captured and hauled to Jarl’s dungeons. The poor conditions, the recent stresses of fighting, and the biting winter conspired to do away with Boremund. I cannot say I am altogether heartbroken, the man was a danger to me in the long run. We shall have to see what his son Renly is made of.
20.9.jpg
Not very much, it would appear. The man is a dunce, not an outright simpleton but only just able to go about the tasks of his daily life and by no means a fit ruler. Well, at least that will make it difficult for him to make any moves on the Iron Throne.
20.10.jpg
The ragged remains of Boremund’s army reach my main force just as we begin moving towards Moat Cailin. A small force from Massey’s Hook is already there, though they lack the numbers for an effective siege. It does give me knowledge of the area though and at least for the moment, movement towards Moat Cailin is safe for my men.
With all my forces now around me, I order them merged into a single larger host. I lead in the center, though I fear I am not the leader I once was. Kennett is on the left flank and Ser Dobber Byrch, of my Queensguard, on the right. I do not entertain the hope that we might suffice to beat the Wildlings if they come in force. My only hope is that the rumors of uprisings against Jarl, mainly by his own Wildling allies, are true and suffice to distract him.
20.11.jpg
News comes that Old Wyk has fallen and Ulf Grimm has surrendered. He is removed from the war effort, although this is now of little consequence seeing as every last Ironborn in The North has been killed, imprisoned, or has melted away to try and make his way home.
20.12.jpg
20.13.jpg
20.14.jpg
Damn this winter! Another of my Queensguard has died, The Lord Commander no less, at the age of just 47. I must find yet another man to fill his shoes and the list grows less impressive every year. He is replaced as Lord Commander by Ser Balman of Wendbridge, a capable man but one whose sword arm is failing him at the age of 60. I am surprised to soon find a suitable new member as well, in the shape of Ardrian Edgerton. He is reputedly a rather godly man and not shy about saying so, but more important he’s young and his skills with a sword are rare indeed.
20.15.jpg
Finally, The Reach and Dorne have beaten Barion Tully and enforced whatever preposterous claim it was they were pressing. Maybe with this out of their systems they can get to the clearly unimportant task of defending the realm. I judge this unlikely. More probably they will find some new point of conflict, or simply prevaricate and claim their armies need time to replenish before they can join me. Half my damned army is dead of starvation or the cold while they grow soft and fat from the wealth of their lands.
20.16.jpg
Moat Cailin has fallen. There have been several notable firsts during my reign, but this is one of the few which is actually a good thing. I order the men to move north once again, but rumors of Northern armies stop me from moving towards Winterfell in a hurry. As we arrive in Whitford, that very army approaches ours.
20.17.jpg
We have time to dig in around Fordswatch before battle is joined. Our numbers are about even for the moment, but who knows how close enemy reinforcements might be? Well, it hardly matters, if we cannot win this one way or another that will likely be the end of the war. I order the men to meet them in battle.
20.18.jpg
Of course, just as our victory is at hand, another Northern army arrives and joins the enemy. With the losses incurred so far in the fight we are now outnumbered two to one, and have fairly poor prospects of victory. I give the order to retreat, but we are harried throughout the ride and the enemy reaches Moat Cailin before we do. We are forced into battle.
20.19.jpg
We still fight on, but we are obviously losing. As I contemplate how to organize the next retreat, a Wildling charge breaks through the lines and reaches my own coterie. As the Wildlings and my men fight Ser Malcolm steps forward to defend me and is slain by a woman who announces herself as Morra. As Malcolm falls and dies, Morra turns and advances on me. I draw my sword.
This doesn't look like it's going to end well. Winter has truly smurfing come.
IT'S HAPPENING
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
