After another try I manage to drop a crate on Shocker out of sheer dumb luck and it takes out all his health in one go. I grab him out of the rubble and carry him out of the warehouse before it explodes leaving him to hang from a lamppost while the police arrive. It took you bloody long enough! I take off and make my way to Hangar 18.


On my way to Hangar 18 I get attacked by a bazooka and find a bomb. I have to navigate a part of the city that's designed to be a maze and get four color keys from the thugs. As if the maze wasn't hard enough I'm not even sure if the game is spawning the enemies that are supposed to be there. Because one playthrough I'll find one set of thugs and then no one else will show after looking around for three minutes straight. The next playthrough I can find them all with little to no trouble. What the smurf? Anyway, I complete the filler mission and continue to the hangar.


More machine guns! Who's their supplier? I want to know! This time the game wants me to sneak, suggesting that under the lampposts no one will see me. It is the middle of broad daylight in an open airfield all they have to do is look up! I decide to hell with it and start beating up bad guys left and right and destroying their trout. This game WAS NOT made to be stealthy. I'm sorry, but you cannot do stealth with these game mechanics.


I see Mr. Purple is up to no good again. I can't criticize his choice of color, though. That's pretty sweet. By the time I finish taking out the machine guns for the cops I find that the bad guys escape and they tied up the pilot in a runaway plane on a collision course for the wall. I toss another spidey tracer (where do I get these things?) onto the helicopter the villain escape in and go after the plane. I really need to find myself a sidekick. Now accepting applications for Spider Lad!


In this stage you have to run ahead of the plane and remove the obstacles from the plane's path to keep it health from going down. Then you have to web up its front propellers to get it to stop moving so you can help the pilot. Obstacles are in the form of barrels and closed doors! The barrels can be destroyed through the use of web balls and barrels hanging from the ceiling need to be web yank. There's a lever by the door you can pull with the square button to open it. If you don't open those in time it's game over. The plane can survive taking a few barrels. So how does the game screw me over this time?

First off, every time I try to use my web ball, I just release a string instead. I'm pressing up and triangle, people, do what I tell you to do! And since Spider-Man is so slow even a barely mobile plane can catch up to him. The plane is on my ass in no time at all if I waste time trying to get the damn controls to work right. The only reason I manage to get past this level is by letting the planes crash into barrels and running ahead to open the doors. There's a developer over in AcTiVision who is laughing their ass off right now.


Tsk, tsk. Sleeping on the job. How lazy. I grab the pilot and take off. I'm sure the damage to the plane will be the only thing the news talk about and they'll find a way to pin that one on me too. After everyone at the airport is safe I take off to go after the helicopter.


This is pretty much a chase without seeing the actual thing you're chasing. The meter there will tell you how strong the signal on your spidey tracer is. If you fall behind the meter will decrease and if it goes empty then it's game over and you have to start from the beginning. I pretty much said to hell to the thugs I kept running into that was shooting at me and kept moving to catch up with the helicopter. I even got a snazzy suit of armor on my way.


Awesome. There's even spider web made of ice. I can freeze people with spider web! I make it to a train yard and once again the game wants me to be sneaky. I don't know why. I can easily web up all the enemies without breaking a sweat, at least that is what I would do if my web cartridge wasn't so low. But even that didn't hinder me much. It's a beat em' up game with a lousy camera. Stop trying to have stealth elements! I make it to the end of the train yard only to learn I need to punch a bunch of panels to trigger the right combination of buttons (red buttons lighting up green) to open up the frigging door. What kind of train yard is this?


I finally get to my train only to be sand blocked by the Sandman. My immediate reaction to seeing him form out of the wall is, "Mother--!" Yeah, we all know what I wanted to say. It's a shame the game is rated E for everyone. The Sandman puts up walls of sand in front of me that I have to take out either with barrels, crates or my webbing, because that makes sense, and I have to avoid Sandman's attacks to catch up to the train. Sandman must not be very powerful because his attacks literally go RIGHT THROUGH ME! He's connecting right on the money but they don't harm me at all. I guess the game figured it screwed me over so many times I earned a break. I don't know. I make it to the train to finally learn the identity of Mr. Purple.


Dun! Dun! Dunnnnnnnn! It's the Beetle! The Beetle blasts me with energy and then takes off with that briefcase that seems to be important to the plot. Does this mean I'll have another Beetle encounter later? Nope! In fact the Beetle appears in one more cut-scene and then that's it. You never see or hear from him again. What was even the smurfing point of having him?

The Beetle: Times are tough, Spider-Man. I do what I have to.

I guess, damn.


So all the villains and thugs are having a meeting about what to do next and we finally learn what's in the briefcase they've been passing around since the first act.


A Bio-Nexus device. Long story short: Electro gets this thing working and he's practically a god. The problem is a piece is missing so they need to find a Dr. Watts. Sandman asks what Electro plans to do about me and that's when the insurance policy comes in.


Hammerhead! Hammerhead asks the thugs in the room what it is that gives him joy. Some people said power until one guy said money and everyone broke into applauds like it was Family Feud or something.


Even Electro is clapping. Hammerhead eventually answers "destroying Spider-Man" and lays out his plan about storming the ball where the Doctor is going to be. He then goes on a long boring speech about teamwork which ends with, and I'm not making this up, everyone chanting, "Team! Team! Team!"



We accept you. One of us! One of us!


So not only do I have to save Dr. Watts and fight mobsters who look like they time traveled from the 1930's, I have to save hostages too. I save a guy from an elevator that's about to fall and then crawl on the ceiling webbing up bad guys as they come. Because no one EVER thinks to look at the ceiling. After taking care of the goons I make it to Hammerhead himself.


Hammerhead is interrogating the doctor about something and I interject giving her a chance to run away. The mobsters are quick to run after her, though. I would have went after her too, but I kind of got held up by bullets.



Where were you hiding that thing? On second thought, don't answer I don't want to know.


Hammerhead charges at me literally headfirst and we fight. Not only does he need a gun to fight me, he needs a freaking helicopter too! Despite being outgunned I manage to defeat Hammerhead and tie him up. By the time I catch up with the doctor she's gone and only sand remains indicating that Sandman was back. I remember that she worked with Dr. Connor at Bio-Tech so I call him for answers, but he decided that now would be a great time to turn into the Lizard. So now I have to go to Bio-Tech, fight the Lizard and THEN get answers. I hate my job.