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Thread: You're sitting next to a stranger who is crying.

  1. #1
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    Default You're sitting next to a stranger who is crying.

    Say you see a seat on a train or in a bank with someone on it (it's a three person seat so you'll be one shoulder width apart from them). Only after you sit down you realise the person is crying. Not wailing or anything though.

    Do you ask what's wrong/if they're ok or just go about pretending it's not happening?

    This happened to me today. It wasnt obvious to me at first because his hands were covering his face and I thought the sniffling was just a cold. I did nothing because I felt it was none of my business.
    Last edited by blackmage_nuke; 05-05-2014 at 06:30 PM.
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  2. #2
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'd respect their privacy and leave them alone.

  3. #3
    Ray "Bloody" Purchase! Crop's Avatar
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    I do nothing.
    Unless the person crying spoke to me, or someone is in danger, or being verbally abused, attacked etc. I stay out of the business of strangers, as I would want them to stay out of mine.

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    Banished Ace Recognized Member Agent Proto's Avatar
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    If it doesn't seem very obvious they are crying before I sat down, I won't bother asking them what's wrong. I only tend to step in if it's really necessary, like if their crying starts to become more noticeable and worrisome, like the tears are really visible. Otherwise, I just leave them alone.

    Apparently, I have been declared banished.

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    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    Respect their privacy. I've cried in public before and just wanted to be alone. If they want to engage me, they will.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

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    Steve Steve Steve Steve Iceglow's Avatar
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    I've been in this position far too often. Generally, I'll offer a tissue if I have one I find it breaks the tension in a nice non-intrusive way. If the person does respond I may ask if they want to talk. Clearly, if someone is crying they are not ok and asking them if they are is not only pointless but stupid.

    edit: If it's a girl crying on a night out for example, I'll generally be a gentleman and ask if they're ok getting home and offer to walk them if it's not too far from mine. I don't like the thought of some vunerable girl being given trout by someone on the street.

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    Pinkasaurus Rex Pumpkin's Avatar
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    I've been in this position and I ask if the person is okay. If they just give me a nod or ignore me, I leave them alone. But mostly what has happened is they start talking to me about everything and then thank me for listening. So that's something, I guess!

  8. #8
    Bones's Avatar
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    I think I would probably try to ask if they were alright but not be too pushy. Sometimes people want to be left alone and sometimes they need a shoulder to cry on, because occasionally it's much easier to talk to a stranger about your problems than someone you know. It really depends on the situation at hand.

    Still rowing...

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    jenovajunkie's Avatar
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    I think it's really dependent on the situation. It's a hard choice because some people do just want to be left alone and some people want someone to talk to. The best thing I would do is softly and politely ask if they are okay or require assistance. What's the worst that can happen? A snarky or sharp remark that indicates they don't want any help. I mean in my mind this person is experiences emotional turmoil, so if they give you a nasty look or whatever; suck it up. You did your part by trying and that's that.

    That's what I would do.
    Creativity is certainly about not being constrained by rules or accepting the restrictions that society places on us. Of course the more people break the rules, the more likely they are to be perceived as ‘mentally ill’
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    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    It's a tough one because I'm so nervous in public generally. Depends on how courageous I'm feeling at that current moment. I mean, my typical response is to dig for a tissue, as Iceglow said. I don't really have to say anything, and they normally accept. It just goes from there whether they want to talk or not.


  11. #11

    Default

    If possible, I'd sit across from them and give them a look of earnest curiosity. If they decide to open up, then I'll listen.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  12. #12
    Total Sweetheart Lone Wolf Leonhart's Avatar
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    If the place were too crowded I might not say anything. The worst thing for someone who feels vulnerable is to have everyone in the room suddenly stare at them.

  13. #13

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    As a Canadian, I'd probably apologize.


  14. #14
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Leave them alone. I'd want to be left alone if I were going through something in public.

  15. #15
    ...you hot, salty nut! Recognized Member fire_of_avalon's Avatar
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    You offer a tissue (and forshame if you haven't a tissue) and you say something like this:

    "Is there something I can do to help you?"

    They'll take it from there. Source: People come in to the office I work in crying a lot.

    Signature by rubah. I think.

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