Alrighty, let's get this started!
Let's try to avoid spoilers please for those who haven't seen the show!
Haha, my images are so big, it got cut off! I'll make them smaller next time around.
The privileged prep school teens on Manhattan's Upper East Side learn that Serena van der Woodsen is back.
This is basically a drama about a bunch of teenagers who have more money than I will ever see in my life.
So we see that girl getting off of the train. Then this "Gossip Girl" basically... well gossips. She has sources, meaning a bunch of teenagers who send her things because they have nothing better to do. So GG (gossip girl) finds out Serena is back and has some picture sources.
Serena had been gone to boarding school for a year for unknown reasons. But I'm sure whatever those reasons are, they will be full of drama.
Meanwhile, Dan and Jenny are there to meet their less glamorous dad after they took a trip to see their mother, who apparently decided to leave their dad. There's some awkward conversation about how happy she may or may not be.
Lonely boy is GG's name for Dan.
Oh, the love of his life. Already making for some drama. And you know she barely knows he exists.
So then another character, Blair, is having a party at her house thanks to her mother. Just to add more drama to the already drama infested episode:
Of course! It wouldn't be a teen drama without this type of thing.
Then we meet Blair's boyfriend (pictured above), Nate Archibald, who was thinking that instead of going to Dartmouth, because really who wants a dart in their mouth anyway, he might want to check out West. His dad isn't going to hear of it because... well why not force your kids to do exactly as you want them to?
Knowing that Serena is back in town, Blair does what any sensible, mature girl who trusts her boyfriend would do.
Why would she want to wait when the girl you have a thing for is back in town? She needs to seal the deal! Who better to lose your virginity to than a man you don't trust?
Chuck (the guy in the middle) has an expression that explains my feelings on the matter. This is also supposed to show how obsessed with GG everyone is.
I know how in high school we were always looking for huge piles of drama to pile on to our lives. Yep. Exactly this.
This is supposed to show how super good of friends Blair and Serena are (used to be?). Then Blair's mom, who had verbally assaulted her earlier in the episode about her looks, feels the need to tell Blair through the door that Serena is here.
This is exactly what you want your boyfriend that you just through yourself at to do when he hears your friend is back in town.
Her face says no. No she doesn't.
So Serena shows up at the party and goes to talk to her mom who is rambling about furniture and Serena asks "How is he?" Who is this mysterious "he?"
Her mom tells her this isn't the time to discuss it and to go chat with her friends.
So Blair's mom is happy to see Serena and reserved her a seat at their table next to Blair. Sadly, or happily, Serena says she has to bail.
I felt the need to include the thought bubble because you can just see the love in Blair's eyes.
Bitch face is a very common theme in most teen dramas.
And there we have Blair trying to save face because no, no she didn't.
Uh oh. Serena used to be a bad girl! I'm sure that won't come up as a plot device ever.