Australia are the lowest ranked team and have three of the favourites in their group. It did have to be them I got in my work's World Cup sweepstake (I do have a second team but I got Aussie first) and as such my desk is now covered in cuddly kangaroos and a photoshop of the Australian team featuring my piss-taking colleague's faces instead of that knobhead Tim Cahill.

This opening ceremony is smurfing stupid.