You misunderstand me, I never directed that statement at you specifically, I meant it in general as I often meet RPG fans who are honestly there only for the plot and could care less about the gameplay. I should have been clearer. Other than that, I actually agree with your sentiments about death in an RPG be more significant.
I don't mind subtle clues if they were actually subtle. Most game designers tell the player the clue as if trying to explain it to a four year old. I mean a good first third of the bosses in FFX have the game explaining to you how to beat them in the most blatant way possible. Even the first boss battles in VI and VII has the game directly telling you that the boss has a pattern and powerful counterattack instead of just letting you figure it out yourself that attacking the shell or while the tail is up is a very bad thing. Go back to a game like FFIV where many bosses actually do have powerful counter moves and not one word of any help about it. Instead the player had to figure out about getting around it.
While I agree that changes should be made to make all roles relevant, I feel your solution sounds awfully complicated from a game design standpoint and involves more math than I would care to utilize in my games. I kind of prefer the 2-bit system overall, once you go into MMO style Percentage bases, I quickly lose interest. Course I don't particularly care for the debuff/buff roles in games but I've never been much of a team player either.
Yet why should it be bad that they choose to make an unfair game as well? You are trying to place a personal value judgment on someone's choice which is not in line with your own. I grew up playing arcade games, I am used to brutally hard games designed to steal my money and cheating A.I. but I also get immense satisfaction getting good enough to win and I do find that fun.
Fun is something different for everyone and not everyone cares or notices if the game is stacking the odds in its favor. Of anything, trying to reverse some of the cheap difficulty of the older RPGs has caused the genre to shift 180 degrees in the other direction, with games mitigating death and challenge to pathetic levels.
Demon's Souls/Dark Souls itself is only difficult because it works on Arcade rules of trial-and error gameplay with some customization 101 elements for flavor. I'd still argue some deaths in the game are cheap the first time around but each death is a learning experience and after awhile it just becomes the natural order of things and you stop seeing it that way.
The issue here is how are we even defining unfair? If it's just RNG then even I can agree it is cheap difficulty but withholding information is not in my book since most bosses or enemies don't exactly forward their move-set to you. Even in the Souls series, it is not like the first time you deal with a boss you are going to know they are only weak to magic, or one of their moves is too fast to dodge or too strong to block without proper stats and gear. So even those first deaths that teach you that information can be considered cheap if we're being technical about this. Even super bosses in RPGs tend to work on the principles of being overpowered but absolutely predictable but the only way you will ever know this is either consulting a guide or trial-and-error gameplay and I often find that too many people consider trial and error gameplay to be cheap and terrible difficulty when it really isn't. A bit unfair at times, yes, but it is up to the player whether you are going to just give up cause you feel the game is unfair or simply persevere and see it as a learning experience, which is what it is.
Trying to make a RPGs fair is a balancing act and the real issue here is that most people can't agree on the actual challenge level and what constitutes as fair and unfair and then trying to make it accessible without just letting the game telegraph to the player how to win. It isn't helped by the fact the genre itself sort of was designed from the beginning to be difficult by blindsiding the players, dating all the way back to the days of D&D.