MLT Be the Next Staffer
Last winner: ToriJNomination Leader: Quin
The Nominees
Mr. Shauna
Who they predicted to win...
Shauna: Mr. Shauna
shion: Scotty_ffgamer
Formalhaut: shion
Psychotic: Mr. Shauna
Quite annoying, especially when a venn diagram with percentage labels would be much more appropriate
Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
Have a nice day!!
Vocaroo by Kalevala
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0zNXcedtXaY
Speech by sharkythesharkdogg
(SPOILER)
It’s time for potential staffers! Whooo! This is our chance to glimpse into the future and see who it is we believe will serve us well in a position of authority.
What the hell do we know? If history has shown us anything, it’s that leaders, whether elected or appointed, can get pretty awkward. Thanks to either inbreeding or simply bad breeding, idiots naturally seem to float their way to the top of our social structure. It’s one of those odd aspects of humanity.
I don’t know anything about any of these people, especially that shion, so I think it’s only fair to use our own world history to randomly decide what we might get from each of these people once they’re in a position of authority.
Mr. Shauna –
Well Matt, you get Christian the VII of Denmark because why not?
So looking back through the records it seems you enjoyed spending your youth roaming the streets with a pack of other delinquents randomly attacking people with a studded mace. Nice people skills.
Once you’re in power, it seems your days will be spent open hand slapping people in the middle of official business discussions, cheating on your wife, and masturbating rather openly and rather often. I don’t know about clubbing people in the streets, but I have to say if I were ruler, I’d probably do other two things as well.
Quin – Quin, you get Nebuchadnezzar II. I just see you and think, “He’s a dead ringer for that Nebuchadnezzar fella. I’ll just call him Chad.” It makes sense if you think about it.
My friend it seems you will build a great city, perhaps even a fine empire! But alas you shall fall victim to pride at your accomplishments and be stricken with a 7 year bout of insanity. trout happens, broheim. Totes sorry. We will lose Quinn as his sickness inclines him to go live in the wilderness, and graze with the bison, or whatever the hell it is that guy did for 7 freaking years. Do not despair, however! History has also shown we are more than willing to take people back, and keep them in power long after we should know better. It appears after your 7 year hiatus of “getting in touch with your roots…..your GRASS roots” (wakka wakka!) you’ll wind up back in power. So who’s really the crazy one here?
Scotty_ffgamer – Well Scotty, you’re going out hard. Sorry man. You get Caliph Murad V of the Ottoman Empire.
So from what I’m reading you get put in place by the men really controlling things behind the scenes. You are married 10 freaking times. Then the stress of ruling the empire through difficult times (and probably trying to keep 10 women happy) causes you to suffer a mental breakdown. The same men who put you in power have you basically placed on house arrest until you finally die off.
Quick and brutal.
Sephex – Hey Justin! How’s it going, man? Happy birthday again! Sorry for the troutty present, but wait, not I’m not. You get Nero. Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Oi, even your name says, "I have problems."
It seems your over bearing mother controlled much of your young life and will be largely responsible for your rise to power. This is accomplished mostly by killing off family members who might have gotten in your way. You’ll learn this lesson well, as it’s likely you had her killed off when…..she got in your way. So run on a platform of strong family values.
As the years go by you’ll go through a few different lovers before find a female you think is a keeper. Also a male you find to be a keeper. Rumor has it that you liked this fellow in particular because he looks like your mom. So, wow.
It seems in later years you’ll be suspected of arson (not cool man), and become infatuated with performance! In some form of mid-life crisis perhaps, you’ll begin performing your own songs and poetry, with your own voice with some lyre playing), and acting!
Shion – You, stranger whom I don’t know, get Anna of Saxony.
You know, I didn’t expect you to have a mild hunchback or be so self important, but facts are facts.
It also seems you really didn’t care for your husband. Between the bouts of heavy drinking you always take the time to publicly berate him for his sexual inadequacies and yell at him for how expensive the war is getting.
Eventually everyone finds out about the affair your having because you were looking pretty pregnant. The other man you’re dating is exiled (poor sharky), and you live out your days pissed off and alone.
The White Wizard of Fynn – It seems you get Prince Sedo of Korea.
A childhood that found you living in fear of both of your parents has left you estranged to both of them.
This situation somehow has led you to become obsessed with clothing, and the process of finding the perfect outfit. You seem to feel the need to burn 10, 20, or even 30 outfits as an offering to the clothing spirit in an attempt to find just the right one.
As time goes by it seems your father (We’ll call him BoB for now) has grown to dislike you even more. This leads to you taking it out on the servants (that’s little forum members like us.) To get your mind off things regular killings, rapings, or other horrible situations occur daily. Also drunken orgies, apparently. Didn’t know you were into those.
Eventually the king (BoB, remember?) has you stuffed into a box and starved to death for your behavior.
ToriJ – Tori, you get Eric XIV of Sweden, which makes perfect sense.
Sure why not. Oh sure, things start off reasonably. Don’t they always, with the promises you people make?
You bastard. It seems you grow to inherit your father’s temper, and also his bloodlust. After several years of rule, and after finally giving up on ever getting Queen Elizabeth’s hand in marriage, it seems you simply become unhinged.
You will begin to wander the halls of your castle (the forum), murdering people for coughing, laughing, smiling, or dressing incorrectly. Eventually you will have a large portion of the aristocratic community arrested for suspected treason (going after the other staffers now too, jeez.) You might actually be on to something, but you decide to head to where they are jailed to make amends. Only instead you stab some of them to death…..and order the guards to murder the rest. Then you ride off to calm down, only to stab MORE people to death when they try to calm you down. You will be dethroned, and live the rest of your life under arrest until you are finally poisoned. Merry Christmas.
Wolf Kanno – You get King Farouk of Egypt.
Y’know this one is one of the more mild ones, actually.
Once you rise to power, it seems it still is not enough. You’ll become an insatiable glutton that desires everything you don’t have. You’ll be known as a kleptomaniac, even stealing Winston Churchill’s watch. Only it’s not just things. You’ll develop a pattern of only desiring married or engaged women, and often losing interest once they are more available.
You also develop a taste for eating caviar first thing in the morning right out of the can. That gets pretty salty, so you will wash it down with around 15-30 bottles of soda…….a day. Around the same time you start having nightmares about lions. (Who would think nightmares? You’re eating so healthy.) So do you cut back a little on the intake? No. You’ll go to the zoo to see the lions. It’s good to face your fears, I suppose.
Or shoot them….my sources say you shot the lions. Nice. Between all this rad behavior and deciding maybe the Nazi invasion is a better option than the British you will eventually lose favor with your people (that would be us), and be deposed.
So there you have it gang. Our future looks bleak. Maybe we should all move back into caves and wait for the next big flood.
Parker isn't even exaggerating.Originally Posted by Parker
he stopped the teamspeak thing for half hour to make those pie charts
why on earth did you all not just immediately goatse him?
Quality speech and, once again, quality voice. Plenty of effort went into this one!
But I like Lions.
The rest sounds about right. coffee5.gif
True beauty exists in things that last only for a moment.
Current Mood: And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe. Maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself. To hold on to these moments as they pass...
MLT Be the Next Staffer
Last winner: ToriJ
The Nominees
Mr. Shauna
And the winner is...
Mr. Shauna
The Final Tally
Mr. Shauna.........................13
shion..............................11
The White Wizard of Fynn............9
Wolf Kanno..........................9
Scotty_ffgamer......................8
Quin................................6
ToriJ...............................6
Sephex..............................5
RSL.................................1
congrats
Cutest Couple
Last winner: Happy Noodle Boy & Locky
The Nominees
AlaynaMae & Jiro
Who they predicted to win...
Shauna: AlaynaMae & Jiro
shion: AlaynaMae & Jiro
Formalhaut: Mr. Shauna & Shauna
Psychotic: AlaynaMae & Jiro
Sharky's speech was awesome!
Speech by shion:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ZHCB3YQpWM
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