Yep, Liverpool will actually be what kills me. What absolute comedy. Our defence is a joke, Balotelli is utter bobbins (and hasn't even done any wacky antics to make up for it) and thank smurf for our new signing Own Goal is all I can say. Honestly, every game we've won this season apart from Spurs we have not deserved to. We are rubbish... and yet somehow we're 5th. Football.

Real Madrid are going to do something thoroughly unpleasant to our backsides. Ronaldo vs Lovren and Skrtel. smurf me. What odds are there on at least 5 goals being conceded?