It's the only explanation I can come up with.

I mean, just read this. My theory is that in an attempt to commit the best farcical news practical joke to date, The Onion has managed to place their people in other "news" offices.

I particularly love her explanation for why the English measurement system is so rational compared to metric.

Quote Originally Posted by Coulter
Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?
YEAH. Suck on that science! Why have a system of measurement based on something unreliable and random like the factor of ten when people can just use their thumbs?!? Everyone has the same sized thumb, dummies.

But seriously, someone go prove to me that she's a sleeper agent. I know people are rallying behind her, and it's depressing.