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Thread: The Greatest Birthday of All (AKA I couldn't wait until the morning)

  1. #1
    absolutely haram Recognized Member Madame Adequate's Avatar
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    Default The Greatest Birthday of All (AKA I couldn't wait until the morning)


    Today is Independence Day, the birthday of the greatest country this world has ever seen, the United States of America. For two hundred and thirty eight years this land has been the envy of all the world for its liberties, freedoms, and opportunities.


    From the First Amendment that affords freedoms to all, to the Second Amendment which defends those freedoms against tyrants and invaders alike, the very fabric of the American government is dedicated to the preservation of individual liberties and God-given rights.


    I did not have the good fortune to be born an American, yet perhaps there is some good fortune in that in itself - for I have lived in the world beyond those golden shores and I have learned, first-hand, how vital America's freedoms are to human happiness and prosperity.


    I have visited that great country several times in my life and next month I will be visiting again. I cannot wait to go down Main Street and have a Bison Burger, washed down with Moose Drool, and follow it up with an ice cream sundae or an original-style Dr. Pepper from the candy store.


    And next year I will be marrying Pike. Now, don't get me wrong - I am marrying her because I am crazy about her and I would voluntarily move to a socialist hellhole like Norway to be with her. But I won't have to, instead I will move to the US of A, and I will be able to become an American citizen as well. It is the most appealing combination of circumstances.


    My sole regret is that I am not eligible to run for President, for I believe I would be able to lead America into a new Golden Age. But if the Founding Fathers, in their infinite and inimitable wisdom, adjudged that the foreign-born were not to become President, so I shall respect their decision.

    A very happy 238th birthday, and here's to 238 more.

    God Bless America.

  2. #2
    Pinkasaurus Rex Pumpkin's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Skyblade's Avatar
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    The Battle Hymn of the Republic is one fantastic piece of music.

    "As he died to make men holy, let us die to make men free!"

    Semper Fi, my fallen friends. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.
    My friend Delzethin is currently running a GoFundMe account to pay for some extended medical troubles he's had. He's had chronic issues and lifetime troubles that have really crippled his career opportunities, and he's trying to get enough funding to get back to a stable medical situation. If you like his content, please support his GoFundMe, or even just contribute to his Patreon.

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  4. #4
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    hb america
    Don't delay, add The Pimp today! Don't delay, add The Pimp today!
    Fool’s Gold tlsfflast.fm (warning: album artwork may sometimes be nsfw)

  5. #5
    Gobbledygook! Recognized Member Christmas's Avatar
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    I think I went "wtf" when I read the thread.

    Happy Birthday America!

    EDIT: I am pretty sure you can lead America to a new golden age, especially the porn industry that focuses on Milf.

  6. #6
    Word Engineer Miss Mae's Avatar
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    Happy... birthday... USA... I suppose...

    My future is fuelled by the fires of words, wit and companionship.

  7. #7
    Happiness Hurricane!! Pike's Avatar
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    This is my favorite thread on the forum

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    now this is a thread i can get behind

  9. #9
     Master of the Fork Cid's Knight Freya's Avatar
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    Happ birthday america!


    MERICUH!

  10. #10
    Krankzinnigheid ligt dich Colonel Angus's Avatar
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    Everybody's in the American Spirit today...10455674_771804366196156_2945862703993456634_n.jpg

  11. #11
    absolutely haram Recognized Member Madame Adequate's Avatar
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    Tits, beer, cheeseburgers, guns, truly the greatest of all countries.

  12. #12
     Master of the Fork Cid's Knight Freya's Avatar
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    I did my makeup america like today. AMERICA

    Attachment 58008
    Last edited by Freya; 07-04-2014 at 08:15 PM.

  13. #13
    Total Sweetheart
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    Default


  14. #14
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    America produces the best food on the planet. It's like, people think "Oh yeah, Italian food!" or you have French, or Chinese, or Mexican, or Indian, and they all have strong identities. For me, it doesn't get better than a good smurfing cheeseburger. Or American style pizza (Italy did the groundwork but America are the ones who nailed it). At the risk of being condescended, I'd be happier at an Applebees or a Denny's than a fancypants Italian or French restaurant. And I'm okay with that.

  15. #15
    Banished Ace Recognized Member Agent Proto's Avatar
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    Happy birthday, America!

    *blows up a fireworks warehouse*


    Apparently, I have been declared banished.

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