When I pet myself I get a strange reaction...



My Labrador is a weirdo. He'll get close and attempt to stop people for jumping into my pool. He goes for the legs. Once you've successfully made it into the water, he'll run around the pool barking until you surface unharmed. At the river, he jumps in and pulls you out of the water. He does this with complete strangers. Thinks he's a "Rescue Ranger". One year he swam across the river so many times that he got exhausted. He was being swept towards the rapids, I nearly drowned saving him. Now I only take him when the river is low.


A also have a Maltese (wife's choice), total spaz. She prances around constantly, but if you lay a finger on her she "freezes". Remove your finger, back to prancing. Touch her, motionless.

My nickname for her is "Bird-food". She's bright white, eagles and falcons always circle my yard. If not for the Labrador, she'd be splattered on someone's car by now. There is a hoot owl waiting for his shot at her too. Bird food, only a matter of time.