Bitchy Resting Face

[Sephex]

I sort of do, but it isn't "natural." Basically, I took getting picked on way too hard as a kid. I know it happens to everyone, but I wasn't prepared to deal with the more darker aspects public school.

This is a problem I have to this day, but I generally assume that people make fun of me. The rational part of my brain KNOWS that most people don't give a s*** what I do or how I look unless I do/wear something VERY outlandish for the situation I was in. The very few times someone has directly said something rude to me without any provocation in my adult life only made me feel that most people think negative thoughts about me, however. Again, I know that I am being unreasonable, and I can't realistically expect people to be nice to me 100% of the time or anything.

Anyway, a side effect of how I was treated at a young age was to develop a defense mechanism of looking extremely irritated or downright angry when I am out doing normal things like shopping. This was pointed out to me a few years ago when I was seeing a therapist. When we got closer and had more "real talks" she explained to me that the entire time I first sat down in her office to explain why I felt I was in there she fully expected me to explode. This was purely based on my how my facial expressions were. She then said that as she got to know me, she realized that I just look that way, but since it isn't consistent, I must be putting the face on subconsciously. I ran what my therapist said by my family and friends and they agreed with it. I have even seen pictures of me when I wasn't ready for it as an adult and child. There is definitely a difference.

Though I know I am making this sound like a much bigger ordeal than it is, I think it isn't that big deal. I don't have problems making friends or socializing. When I have to interact with people in public, I sometimes notice that they are thrown off by a friendly tone instead of expecting whatever negativity they expected from me.

TL;DR: I subconsciously have an unpleasant face on in public because of silly reasons, but it isn't my "default" face position.