*CLICK ME RIGHT smurfING NOW*
Aaaaaand now, the moment you've aaaaaall been waiting for...
Introducing YOUR Eyes on Final Fantasy.... Eyesooooon Chocoboooooos!
At the point, she's got the moves to break ankles (no seriously, her ball handling is smurfing insane), the gas to bring the opposition to tears, and the looks to break hearts. At a drastically increased height of 6', All the way from the United Kingdom....
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Also at the point guard position, the man who dishes more dimes than the national mint, whose cornrows let you know that "I've killed a man before... but I
still like to party"...
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Aaand now, the 3 three point threat that makes the defense sweat. The scottish lass that drops buckets en' masse. You may take away her dribble but you'll NEVER... TAKE... HER THREEDOOOOM!!!
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Not enough testosterone on the team for you? Do you like your basketball with a side of red meat, served on a plate made of bacon, that was wrestled from the arms of an 8 foot grizzly!? Then look no further than the high flying, slam dunking, cave spelunking shooting guard...
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All well and good you say, but how on earth can you possibly balance out this supremely uncool, unprecedentedly white team? With one man, my friends. One chiseled... oiled up... completely shredded ball of pure athletic dark chocolate. And that one man's name is...
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Also with Ronnie at the Small forward position, the man with all the spreadsheets, he just wanted to record the stats on the sidelines but we made him play anyway. It's the long range shooting, vaguely Asian looking (I seriously couldn't get him to not look Asian, dunno what happened)...
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Moving now to Power Forward... some say his afro is older than time itself, and that it holds the secret to basketball supremacy in it's inner most curls. Well when you see him turn around, fade away, and knock down the shot in a defenders face it's easy to see why. Ladies and Gents...
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Now I'll need you all to take a moment and secure your private parts, no one is safe when our next power forward is in the arena. No one knows if he's better at conquering vag or blocking shots, but either way you don't want to find out. Lock up your daughters, it's...
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Finally, we move to our towers of power... the centers. First up, from the great, white, north. She's a defensive powerhouse who's lean, mean, and always hungry for poutine. Clap extra hard for all 7 feet, 3 inches of her...
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Finally, rounding out the roster, some say he's undersized, but at 7'0" with a hook shot that has been known to leave the atmosphere before it finally comes back down and lands securely in the net, we'd like to see you try and guard him...
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YOUR EYESON CHOCOBOS, EVERYBODY!!!!