FFIV- I'm going to attempt to play this game AGAIN

[Colonel Angus]

RIP Palom & Porom.

[Colonel Angus]

Nintendo Power artwork for Palom & Porom

FFIV-Palom-Porom-USArt.png

[Pumpkin]

ew

[Pumpkin]

Part 13 - I Am Superstitious And Hate Having A Part 13. Also, There Is A Dark Elf And Edward Has Mind Powers

Okay so I take a Black Chocobo over to where the Dark Elf dude is



Boooooooo



At least these two are positive.

So we fight through the cave including some monsters called Cait Sith (!!!) and also there is a ridiculously high encounter rate

I will literally get out of a fight, take a step, and get in to another one.

Anyway, we eventually reach a crystal room. So like, did the elf make one to hold the crystal? Was it already here? Do crystals just construct special rooms wherever they go?



He seems to have a speech impediment. I also like how plain his sprite looks compared to



That

So anyways, he kills me oh no



Meanwhile



His bardy sense is tingling



He should get that cough checked out

So he starts playing a pretty song on his Harp



Good observation Cecil



The Dark Elf does not like the song as much as I did



Can he also talk through the harp or does Edward have the power of telepathy?

So I fight the elf again and win (yay!) or so I think because it then turns in to



If I had a dollar for every dragon I had to fight

I would have 2 whole dollars



So the elf dies



Yeeep

So back to the castle



Magical harp telepathy



That didn't really answer anything

Suddenly he coughs or goes quiet or something



Is he dying ?!?!?!



Awwww



Oh he's not dying. Nevermind. I just had something in my eye



Is he going to be playable again later?

Anyways, I head to the... hallway... place and get swarmed by women



Ladies



So I head to my ship



Ugh Kain, you sound like a broken record. No hi how are you, just crystal crystal crystal. You would make a terrible date. No wonder you and Cecil never took things to the next level.



So our ships kind of just rise up and then magically I am at some tower.

WHERE AM I



Liar





So I might probably play more soon today just because A) that was a short update and B) I won't have ended at Part 13.

But that's all for now

[Pumpkin]

Part 14 - I Beat Up A Bunch Of Women

So I arrive in the tower and wander around and get in fights. Finally I trigger a scene



Well thank you!



This seems less friendly than it started



But I don't want you too



Well now this is just plain rude



BOSS FIGHT!

Wasn't too hard. They also look quite a bit different than their sprites



It would seem that way.

So anywho, we head further in to the tower of Zot and find GOLBEZ



See?



Golbez has bad social skills

Strawberry Shortcake taught me that we shouldn't be greedy and demanding. I don't think Strawberry would approve of Golbez's actions



Rly? Rly Golbez?



A man who plays dumb about his kidnap victims?



So Tellah and Golbez duke it out and Golbez mocks Tellah's weak spells. So Tellah decides its time to bring out the big guns: METEOR

And then he was promptly kidnapped by Sephiroth



And the fight ends



He learned it on a mountain



So he really was under a spell. That's kind of anticlimactic



I don't know what that is. Laser beams? Is he shooting laser beams at me?



"Cecil, I am your father"



Wouldn't it be cool if irl those symbols appeared above your head? Like you see a cute cat and there's a big "!" that appears. That would be cool



DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME YOUNG MAN



Tellah is dead



Well that was sad



Great so what about Rosa



It's like he heard me

So Kain takes us to the next room and we find her



So we rescue her and she and Cecil embrase



I think they're making out

/looks away



Mood killer Cid

So with the mood dead and burried, Rosa goes to see Kain



...



Thank you, Cid



Boo I don't want Kain



It's never over is it



And so another boss fight



Oh look its a lady lord

Lordess

...

Lady

...

Ahem anyway, it was a pretty long and challenging fight I have to say. But sure enough I defeat her thanks entirely to my unlimited HP and not at all due to skill



Fire Lord?



So Zot starts collapsing as you can't see because that is a screenshot and is motionless.



So we end up in Baron in Cecil's room



I don't think I need to know ab-



Oh



Are they breaking the 4 crystal rule? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS



Good movie



Google



You can't see it, but he searched it on his phone



So he wants to go to the moon?



So for a.... volcano?

I find it suspicious that I might be going to somewhere with Magma and the Fire fiend is still out there



That sounds totally reasonable



Oh Cid. You think of everything



That seems like a good place to end things.

So the story is getting pretty interesting! Can't wait to see what happens next

Also if anyone feels like pointing me in the right direction...

[Spooniest]

Agart.

It's directly south of Baron.

Play on, shion

[Sephex]

Aw yissss, caught up. Good stuff as usual, shion!

[Pumpkin]

Thanky Glad you guys are enjoying it. I'm having fun!

[VeloZer0]

Boo I don't want Kain

Well, I was enjoying this up until that point. I will never look at you the same, ....Dragoon hater.

[Pumpkin]

He tried to kill me, excuse me if I need some time to warm up to him

[Wolf Kanno]

Boo I don't want Kain

Well, I was enjoying this up until that point. I will never look at you the same, ....Dragoon hater.

To be fair, it's very easy to hate Kain. I have friends who always call him "Treacherous Kain" when referring to him.

[Pumpkin]

I don't hate him.I just find him so-so.

And the more Kains I have in the party, the less room for Porom I have when she comes back from the dead

Right






RIGHT

[VeloZer0]

Doesn't matter. Dragoon.

[Pumpkin]

Part 15 - The Underworld is Awfully Ugly But The Dwarfs Listen To Good Music

I'm back!

So I go around castle Baron cause everyone just seems back to normal now



Good to know





But oh what is this?



It appears an item can be used here. An item I don't have though



ALL HAIL QUEEN ROSA

So I head in to the basement and hear a voice



It too liked to play the name game



But I don't know where that is King Kingsly? Care to tell me?

So umm he doesn't tell me.

Anyways I head due south as per the spooniest suggestion and I head back to the dwarf like place and drop a magma rock down the well.

Isn't that funny? Imagine if that was real life and that rock was my only chance of saving the world and I just drop it down a random well? That could go wrong pretty quickly.

Ahem so anyways this happens:



And a giant hole opens up which I go down and arrive in the ugly ugly underworld



They could decorate a little or something geez



If they're aiming at me, they're doing a terrible job.

But apparently they are not and are instead aiming at the tanks



The tanks

So Cid decides he's going to bring us through the fighting and we get hit and stuff



I conveniently land next to a castle! So in I go and find the Dwarf Village where they clearly ripped off the dwarfs from IX in their greeting and not the other way around




That would just be silly



Conversation happens



Golbez has been a busy bee



I would if it could take on the whole red wing army



And of course everyone is super worried about Cid going off on his own



And the person heard that the King keeps his crystal room behind the throne



So in we go to the crystal room and get locked in



And end up with these really creepy dolls





So it leads to a really creepy boss fight that lasts a good while



Yep



Ugh his minions are just


awful



sigh



I didn't really ask but okay



I don't even

Doesn't he sound like one of those crazy homeless men? "I'M GOING TO GO TO THE MOON AND BECOME ALL POWERFUL"



Oh look, a fight

AGAIN



And he summons that dragon thingy which kills Rosa and Yang

BUT SOMETHING HAPPENS



Oh that's why Cid left. So I would have room for Rydia in my party.

They always choose to leave at such convenient times



Yaay Rydia is back! With new summons!

So after that the fight ends ridiculously quickly



Can you take me there? the King Kingsly wants me to go there?



Seems like it



Good one Rosa. Good one



Who am I to argue with Summon queens



Yaaay! So off we go



You have got to be kidding me



Yes. That is Golbez's hand. Going to grab the crystal. As I FOR SOME REASON sit there watching



All of that just happened



Oh no



Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't have just stood there as the slow moving hand approached and stole the crystal. OH WELL



Oh so while he takes the last one, I'm going to steal the other 7 out from under him? Probably the best plan yet



And that's all for now

[Pumpkin]

Part 16 - Two Deaths in One Update

Off to the tower of Babel after repeatedly getting lost in the Dwarf Castle!



I think I found the place

So after going through the Tower that bears a suspicious resemblance to the Tower of Zot, I stumble upon a conversation!



Where? And why does this old dude sound like he's telling his grandson to have a safe trip? "Be safe now! Don't get in to trouble. If you need anything, just call!"



Oh he's this type of minion



No one

Maybe if we don't move he won't notice us



Boo



Everyone knows my name. I'm pretty popular



Kain finds this funny



Were you predicting a boss fight? Because there is a boss fight



A rather amusing and short one, which always means a follow up boss fight.



sigh

So anyways, after Mist Dragon decimates him

For only 20 MP




I feel like I'm missing something here. Is Mist Dragon's attack linked to my HP?



Lame



So back to the locked room which I can now unlock



Golbez may be a bad guy but I respect him for hiring so many people with clear mental disabilities.



So that fight ends soon, but because these fiends are jerk heads they decide to destroy the controls so I can't stop the cannons



But then Yang decides he can do something about this



This reminds me of the scene at the end of Xenosaga Episode I with KOS-MOS. Except Yang dies and KOS-MOS doesn't.

OR DOES HE?!? I really don't know



Well this is sad



And there goes Yang.

So we try to run out of the tower BUT



Not a good time Golbez, we just lost a friend



Yep, he starts destroying the bridge. Just as its about to get me



Yay Cid rescued me







She aged considerable in the past little while



Cut to airship chase scene



We get to see some more chase scenes with them gaining on us slowly



I did do an Iteration of Cid series of articles so I already kind of expected this one. Still sad though



You know I'm not going to do that

I still have to tell Yang's wife that he died too you know

So Cid jumps off the airship



At least he goes in a very Cid way



And he does somehow manage to close up the whole giant entrance by blowing himself up



And that's all for now

Very touching update