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Thread: Let's Play Resident Evil 2 badly

  1. #46
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    KICK HIS ASS, OLD MANUS!

  2. #47
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    "ada wait "

  3. #48
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Only just seen this and it is my new favourite thread.

  4. #49
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Leon's flowchart of handling things:

    Did something happen?

    Yes --> ADA!!!!
    No --> ADA!!!!

  5. #50
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    LET'S PLAY RESIDENT EVIL 2: BOSS FIGHTS ON POINTLESS TRAIN PLATFORMS EDITION





    You may notice that Birkin's face has now actually moved to his left breast. Brings a whole new meaning to 'heart in your mouth'.




    I decided to bring the submachine gun along for this battle, as god knows it's not getting any use anywhere else. It turned out to be a pretty dumb idea. This thing isn't as powerful as I thought.




    But just as I expend pretty much all the ammunition (and about 3 first aid sprays), he stumbles.



    And jumps off the edge!

    The platform comes to a shuddering halt in the middle of the descent.




    Leon informs Ada that it is regrettable that she is injured, but for the sake of gameplay she needs to be dropped as a supporting character for the moment and getting impaled by a giant zombie hand is the most convenient way of achieving this.

    (SPOILER)ADAAAAAAAAA


    Time to find a way to get this platform moving. More vent crawling!





    We drop into an unknown part of the factory. But...



    The platform starts moving again anyway! For smurf's sake, Ada!




    I guess now we have to try and get down there. We're in some sort of engineering sector of the complex. This place looks like it cost billions to excavate and build.




    The lickers down here have evolved into extra powerful versions of themselves that can be right bastards when they attack in groups (which they always do). Good job we upgraded the shotgun to deliver maximum pain!






    I can't even figure out whether this is just a dodgy translation or this is actually where they melt disobedient workers




    Got a feeling we'll be going that route soon. Also, note that after all this time plodding around with emblems and plugs, the master key to the secret underground hi tech research complex is just a fugging bog-standard lever lock open-the-shed-door key.

    Down the lift.



    "What's the problem? You got an issue with what a real woman looks like?"




    Disgusting hambeasts. Welp, looks like we're back down here. My first move was to go into the little office to see if I could kill Sherry, but it appears Claire locked the door. Bummer. Let's go and pick up Ada.




    Ada? ADA? ADAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Ah well, further into the complex I suppose.



    ...Oh, for smurf's sake.




    Yep, it's this all over again.





    And we finally get to the door Claire partly unlocked in Scenario A! We can't go inside yet though, there's still more fetch-questing to be had.



    I just took this screenshot to show off how smurfing awesome the upgraded shotgun is. Limbs everywhere.



    There's also the anti-BOW sprinkler that we ignored in Claire's scenario. I don't know whether my game bugged or anything but I switched it on and it was totally useless. Nothing happened.

    Ah, well. We can still pick up this bad boy in the next room:



    A flamethrower! Now, if only there were some highly-flammable organic monsters nearby that I could test this on...




    Excellent. Flame-grilled zombie plant, coming up!



    Have it, you numerously-tentacled bastards...! ...Hang on, what...?



    That's right, it's absolutely sodding useless. Back in the item box you go...




    Further into the labs, taking care of a gaggle of lickers as we go.



    It's the giant moth again. It is such an out of place fight. You don't even actually have to fight it, really.



    Now we've fiddled with the computer in here, we can finally get into the big locked door from earlier!




    This place had better be packed with treasures.



    Nope, more lickers.



    And a bloke with eerily long legs...



    ALL THAT IS IN HERE IS A DAMN CLIP FOR THE SUBMACHINE GUN I DON'T EVEN NEED IT ANYMORE I SWEAR TO GOD




    Let's get some real goodies.



    Now we have the fixings for the best weapon in the game, outside of the bonus ones. The upgraded magnum turns every enemy into mincemeat.




    And what better way to introduce it!



    We also pick up the key to the power room, which was locked waaaaaay back when we entered the facility. Let's head back.




    Annette again!



    "If you're after my husband's last remaining Pez dispenser, you're never going to get it!"



    But suddenly, Mr. X busts in again!



    Piece of piss.






    Oh for God's sake will you just go home?




    Wait. Despite having just filled him full of lead moments earlier with no hesitation, Leon is now backing away slowly, cowering in fear.



    "Help! I need a plot device to get me out of this cutscene!"




    ADA! (SPOILER)AAAAAAAAAA



    "Stand back Leon, while I very slowly fire bullets from my pea shooter while standing perfectly still!"









    "No not the face! That's the money!"






    For the first time in the game, Mr. X shows any sort of bleeding.








    Smoked. Is anyone keeping track of the falling-over-the-railings count?


    there was a picture here

  6. #51
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM ALL THE WAY FROM HELL MY GAWD!

    And I lost track of how many people fell over the railing a while back.

  7. #52
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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  8. #53
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laughs. This has been a good read.

  9. #54
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Just in time for the ending, sharky.

    So Mr. X just threw himself into a huge bowl of molten metal. While you stop and try and think of a reason why there is a giant smelting pit in an underground laboratory, let's get on with the game...



    Leon goes to help his selfless saviour. Are they going to have a moment?



    They've known each other literally for a few hours and have only had about two or three stilted, wooden conversations but they're already in love! God bless America.




    Oh yeah then she dies.

    Time to get the hell out of dodge, chief. Leon leaves her corpse there to melt.

    MEANWHILE IN AN UNKNOWN LOCATION



    Oh, trout.




    A call from Claire. She tells us to pick up Sherry in the locked office. You've got to be kidding. We've only seen this girl briefly for about 5 seconds earlier in the game and Claire's trying to offload her trout onto us?




    Don't ask me where I got the key from, because I don't remember.



    Goddamn it she's still alive!

    Now that the master key has formulated itself into Leon's pocket, let's use the emergency function in the emergency lift.





    To the train and our ticket out of here.



    No power supply in the emergency evacuation train? Great job, Umbrella! I suppose we'll go and turn it on then.



    A detonation countdown! This is it!




    Just insert a few plugs here...



    This can't be good.








    "How did you know that the secret to me gaining my full power is a bath in molten lead!?"

    Mr. X 2.0 decides to throw his previous tactics of calmly plodding around throwing punches out the window, and instead whizzes around the area, bashing the trout out of you. He takes a fair amount of hits with the upgraded magnum and is actually pretty hard. As such, I didn't get around to any screenshots until this point:



    A mysterious voice that is definitely not Ada calls for Leon!



    ROWCKET LAWNCHAIR

    Getting into a position to fire the damn thing is the hardest part here.



    Hasta la vista?








    It's funny because the moment I took the screenshot, the screen flickered and his explosion disappeared, leaving only the prerendered background

    Anyway, now that the train is powered, can we finally get moving?





    Let's go! Picking up Claire on the way!



    Unfortunately no, she isn't standing in the middle of the track in this picture.




    It's the same FMV that Claire had! Capcom you bastards!


    [SCENE SKIP]




    "Hang on, we're 3D rendered again. Does this mean...?"



    "SURPRISE MOTHERsmurfERS"
    (Is what he would say if he actually had a mouth at this point)







    After Mr. X, this fight is a piece of cake. To defeat William Birkin, shoot at it until it dies.








    WWE's Rikishi, rest in peace.


    ENDING FMV TIME






    Holy trout.



    So basically Bill is still alive and Leon has locked himself out of the train carriage. Tension!



    "Trust me, I saw this in Speed!"



    Sherry decides to finally make herself useful after four hours of gameplay. I refuse to believe someone of even Sherry's size could easily fit through that gap.



    "Which button to press to stop the train from blowing up!?"



    "WHICH BUTTON TO PRESS?"



    Oh, right, the big red one.



    President Deling morphs into his final form.



    The music reaches a crescendo as the timer hits zero!



    Not even Sauron is safe from this smurfing game.



    Tell me they're all dead.




    Sake.

    And finally...



    "Screw this cop trout, I'm off to go work for the president!"



    That's that, ladies and gentlemen. Took slightly longer than it should have, and my pathetic abilities at the game have ensured I have unlocked absolutely nothing for a future playthrough!


    there was a picture here

  10. #55
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Let's Play and Thread of the Year, right here.

  11. #56
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Well done, I have enjoyed this one immensely. RE2 is still my favorite of the series to this day, and I used to play the game obsessively.

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  13. #58
    This is England
    Papa Waigo
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    excellent work, highlight for me was the metal slug reference in the last post, heard it in my head straight away

  14. #59
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Top turn. Shame though, would've enjoyed the adventures of Tofu...

  15. #60
    navmaldeuh Madonna's Avatar
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    I laughed, I cried, and you, sir, deserve a golden chocobo. Adaaaaaaaaaaaa.

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