I steal the hearts of young ladies everywhere.

FYI, the worst place in the world to steal from is Wal-Mart. They have 8 million cameras, a small army of loss prevention staff, they always press charges, and they always show up to court. My colleagues and I have joked about pitching in for a public service announcement to post outside of the local Wal-Marts.

(I have never actually stolen anything myself)