I want so many things: For the doctors to figure out what's wrong with my shoulder, to go home, for my brother to visit, to be able to take advantage of the many study abroad options being offered by my school, to go on holiday, to stop being allergic to so many kinds of food, for my parents to reach out to me, to get promoted, to get a pet, for people to want to have their picture taken with me, a book of family recipes/stories, a huia feather, art and artifacts, lost taonga. I ache for these things.

I also wouldn't turn down a snare drum/hi-hat, a chest of drawers, a small sofa, a clothing rack, a specific blazer, a wristwatch, a record player, a tattoo, tickets to the inevitable next expensive concert/festival announcement, books of poetry or short stories (no time for novels, anymore), a Maori dictionary, a nice jersey, blankets, scotch, an immaculate household, writing workshops, postcards sent through the mail, silly drawings, the rolling of dice, these things that are all shorthand for community and potential.