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Thread: Being a huge loser

  1. #1

    Default Being a huge loser

    ...On which I'm an authority!

    ...No, I'm kidding. This thread isn't about my pathetic life insomuch as it concerns the question of "how can I lose a lot of weight, quickly, without causing permanent health problems?"

    Anyone wanna share their secret weight loss techniques? My boss (the bandleader) has promised me $750 if I can drop some weight.

    Quick note: yes, I understand that "eating all the foods and not getting off my ass for days at a time" is not the correct way to do it.

  2. #2
     Master of the Fork Cid's Knight Freya's Avatar
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    You want a diet that will lose weight fast and not kill you?

    Keto. But you have to be strict with it. And if you venture off you'll gain it back. It's not as restrictive as some diets but you still have to avoid some foods. There are a lot of fruits I love but can't eat on that diet. A lot of people do keto and weight lifting.


    Basically, eat less crap, move more.

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    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    I was on a "loose" keto restriction earlier this year. It was interesting. I did lose quite a bit, but I didn't love doing it. Too much meat and fatty fat fats for my preference. inb4 one of you nerds tries to balk at me for saying that

    My body responds well when I manage portion control and count calories. It is tedious, but works for me. Fruit and peanut butter toast for breakfast, vegetables for lunch, and more vegetables and a source of protein for dinner is best for me! Also, just even walking a couple of miles a day will do your body wonders. Pop in some headphones and go, or if it's too cold outside (like it is now), there are tons of youtube routines you can search for to just do in a room with a little bit of space. 30 minutes a day is what they say!

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    Happiness Hurricane!! Pike's Avatar
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    MyFitnessPal. I've lost 12 pounds in six weeks and it doesn't even feel like I'm trying. It's friggin awesome.

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    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    pot, lots of pushing around 500+lbs hay bails and picking up sheep and a ham sandwich for lunch. then whatever you find/afford for dinner. Then you can be 150bs like me!

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by escobert View Post
    pot, lots of pushing around 500+lbs hay bails and picking up sheep and a ham sandwich for lunch. then whatever you find/afford for dinner. Then you can be 150bs like me!
    Did you get the part where I said I was a musician? Cuz I am.

  7. #7

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    I dropped between 40 and 50lb over the course of 6 months or so. a) I got a treadmill and started running (treadmills are good because you can stay in and watch anime while exercising) and b) I replaced all my snacks with apples.

    That's what really puts on the weight: snacking. I have an almost bottomless appetite, I always want to be eating something. When that something is low in calories and high in good stuff, it's quite a low effort way of cutting unnecessary junk out of your diet.

  8. #8
    Happiness Hurricane!! Pike's Avatar
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    Honestly I'm lucky when it comes to a weight loss routine for two reasons:

    1.) I have a physical job so I rarely have to do any other exercise, and
    2.) My colon issues seriously limit my diet. I cannot eat a.) high fructose corn syrup, b.) more than a set amount of sugar at one time (even "good" sugar, like in fruit), or c.) wheat. All of those three things will make you balloon up like no tomorrow and my body just so happens to hate them.

    SO, I eat lots of things like nuts, dairy, eggs, meat, oats, and gluten free stuff. I don't technically have to be gluten free - it's the fructans, not the gluten, that kills my colon - but most gluten free food is also wheat and thus fructan free. I also have a big ol' sweet tooth but I've learned to limit myself to one small chocolate a day (I buy big bags and then they last forever) and if I want dessert I measure myself out a set amount of ice cream by using a food scale.

    As my sugar and wheat intake has dropped so has my weight. And having a physical job that involves a lot of climbing, lifting, walking etc. is helping a lot too.

    Definitely get a tracker app, I recommended MyFitnessPal earlier and I still do. Easy to use and you can just scan in the barcode of the food you eat and it basically does it all for you.

  9. #9

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    I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to post here, and being sensitive about it to boot, but ultimately I just emailed my boss and told him "I don't think this is going to happen in the time frame we've set out."

    Losing 70+ pounds in the space of 30 days will almost definitely kill me. I've thanked him for his offer, and told him I am still willing to try to lose weight, but it won't be by mid-January.

    *Fingers crossed he keeps the money on the table*

  10. #10
    -=Hentai School Girl=- Fuzakeru's Avatar
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    I totally agree that losing that much weight in such a short time span is bananas. I'm glad that you reconsidered that portion.

    Pike
    MyFitnessPal. I've lost 12 pounds in six weeks and it doesn't even feel like I'm trying. It's friggin awesome.
    I LOVE MyFitnessPal. That program and RunKeeper make me feel accomplished.
    Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?

    -= It doesn't have to be a snowman... =-

  11. #11
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Thirty days?!

  12. #12

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    To: Spooniest
    From: Boss
    Re: Stuff

    Time frame extended.

    Me: aww_yussss.PNG

  13. #13
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spooniest View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by escobert View Post
    pot, lots of pushing around 500+lbs hay bails and picking up sheep and a ham sandwich for lunch. then whatever you find/afford for dinner. Then you can be 150bs like me!
    Did you get the part where I said I was a musician? Cuz I am.
    Did you get the part where that doesn't matter? Cuz I did

    I am the anti-diet. I eat way too much meat/glutton and dairy. I rarely eat veggies and lettuce on my sandwich is about it usually. If I'm not working there is a 90% chance I am in front of my computer. And I am still more likely to lose weight than gain it.

  14. #14
    What the bliff Recognized Member
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    Eat less (fatty and sugary foods), avoid bread at all cost, and exercise. None of which people who want to lose weight seem to want to do.

    So I'll add this in: practice better self-control or if emotional problems it's what's causing the weight gain and overeating, therapy.

    Add to that: get a nutrionist or someone who took a few years of nutritional science who can help you manage your calorie intake. A lot of personal trainers are nutrionists too but you'll probably end up paying around $750 anyway so probably pointless if you're just doing it for the money.

  15. #15
    Lovely Gal Night Fury's Avatar
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    MyFitnessPal is great, but I do think it's a bit off sometimes. Still, I find it's great to use as a food diary and start learning to really check what you're eating. You'd be amazed at how much I can eat without really realising and taking it in that actually, probably not a good idea to snack on that much chocolate right now.

    Do some exercise that you enjoy. Don't kill yourself by running if you're not a runner. You'll burn yourself out really fast. You don't need a gym membership, there are plenty of things you can do at home. I like dancing so I try to incorporate that into my workouts. Just Dance for the Wii is great if you're a bit out of shape - I was using it for a while and really started feeling the difference then I stopped. Welp.

    Identify what it is you want out of changing your lifestyle
    Want to lose weight?
    Want to strengthen your body?
    Want to cleanse and detox and be healthier?

    Identify why you want to do it too
    You aren't happy with your appearance?
    You are really unfit?
    You feel sluggish a lot?

    Keep a diary or something. Mark down your progress, keep looking back to it for inspiration.
    Don't feel like a failure if you miss a day of exercise, it happens, just motivate yourself to get back onto the wagon.


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