How often would you kick a cat if every time you kicked it, it pooped out a diamond?

[Bubba]

You would need to measure the kicks quite carefully then. I mean damn, if I don't get a blood diamond every time then I'll be upset.

Also, what kind of temperament does this cat have? Is it a cat that doesn't mind being kicked pretty hard or does it cower and squeal in pain? If it's the latter then the guilt factor could play a big part.

Don't forget that an angry, mean cat might attack you if you kick it. I mean, getting a blood diamond might be worth some bites and scratches, but it's still a deterrent.

This can easily be rectified by wearing padding yourself. I'm guessing we wouldn't need to be constantly kicking this cat so we wouldn't need to wear protection all the time. Still, a blood diamond would enable you to buy the highest quality padding for both you and the cat.

I would definitely treat the cat with comfortable housing, lots of gifts, plenty of grooming, other whore cats so it could satisfy its desires. It would just be that 1% of the time where it gets a bit of a kicking to put up with. This maybe slightly confusing for the cat but at least it lives the life of riley for the rest of the time. Most cats would give their right paw for this lifestyle.

Also, does the cat poop normally all the rest of the time?