Well?
How often would you kick Daniel Towns if every time you kicked him, he pooped?
Well?
Question: is he wearing a diaper?
How high can you count?
Actually, let's changed pooped, to farted.
How high can you count?
I would be a constant presence in his life.
At work undergoing his quarterly review? Kicks.
His wedding? Would have kicked right as he tried to say "I do".
Birth of his child? Kicking.
Accepting a Nobel Prize on live television? I would kick him on such an occasional also.
what kind of smurfed up future do you envision for planet Earth whereby this is an actual plausible scenario?Originally Posted by Mister Adequate
They give out Nobel Prizes for Unecessary Spreadsheets and Continuing To Use Internet Explorer In The Year Of Our Lord 2014, right?
"You know Steve, I invited you here to see if you'd be interested in a lucrative business proposition. It may be painful for the both of us, but we can make quite a kicking out of it."
"Thanks for the wine, Towns, but if I see that leg of yours move too fast I will claw off your face."
Yes. Just so I could day I kicked the s*** out of him.
Or something weird like, "This is the actual consequences of putting one's foot up an ass." Or, "I won't take off my pants and jacket after this because it isn't my fetish."
True story alert;
Daniel Towns can't fart.
He just can't.
At the Edinburgh meet, when we were all a little bit drunk, Daniel was sat on the floor and his head was at arse height. So I thought to myself "alright, time to gear up some revenge for this little smurfer for all the times he's said 'NO' to me in staff, or just done something plain weird." So I stood up slowly, feeling the little gurgle in my stomach that only means one thing. There's a fart in there.
I stepped over to him stealthily and let rip next to his face. It wasn't a huge fart by any means, nor was it too stinky so I felt a bit let down. But I wasn't ready for what happened next. None of us were... Daniel Towns rolls onto his back, legs in the air - and says 'I've had enough of you, betch.' and farts back at me. Now, this 'fart' let me tell you... it sounded like the very last bit of air coming out of a balloon, it was the tiniest little squeak of a fart I have ever heard. Immediately afterwards, however, Daniel Towns sits around for a bit after the room has died down from the hysterics and quietly slinks off to the bathroom.
Dat Matt then said something about clitoral piercings which made me need to spit out my drink, so I stumbled to the Town's kitchen sink and almost knocked myself out on a cupboard door. Amazing.
*takes notes for fan fiction*
What.
Six times.
<PaperStar> live fast, die young, bad plefs do it well
Well yeah that part's good, it's the rest of what she said which gave me pause.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
