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Banned
First of all, radicaledward124, you have too many smurfing cats. Get rid of some of them (preferably by giving them a good home).
Second of all, I only own one cat, but I live with my parents (which I know is both bogus and sad), who owned 4 cats until this year (when one died, RIP Puffy cat). Now they own 3.
Wesley (my cat) is a Russian Blue mixed with something that makes him much bigger than a Russian Blue. He isn't out of shape, no no, he's a walking cat tank. If the 4 cats in the house now were a Final Fantasy party, Wesley is the Fighter, hands down.
This becomes a problem when I'm gaming and he unexpectedly jumps into my lap. He's a bit bigger than your average cat (like, a whole lot of bit bigger), so it's a little unpleasant when he occasionally steps right on my masculine area. 
But usually when I'm doing something, I can shoo him away by taking a treat out of my jacket pocket and throwing it onto his chair.
My advice for cat owners: Get treats. Get a sandwich bag. Put them in your jacket pocket.
You now have much more control over your cat's behavior by default.
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