Hair envy

[escobert]

I just want my hair to lie straight instead of being all curly and crazy at the ends.

Here's the most recent reasonable-looking picture of me, in which I am surreptitiously flipping off my wife for beating me in Sequence:

Such depress many angry wow

But, I wish my beard would grow thicker

Yes. This. My stupid beard, aside from the chin part, just refuses to be a real thing.

I've got a super thick and dark neckbeard but my cheeks get lighter in color and less thick My mustache, goatee and sideburns all grow well but it's all the in betweens and cheeks that wont grow nicely. It used to grow in perfectly Joe Dirt style when I was in my early 20's.