Wolf Kanno's Bottom Ten JRPGs.

[Galuf]

why do i get the feeling FF2 is going to be hated again. FF2 is like my favourite of the nes era

[Vyk]

I will be very interested in this

[Galuf]

*starts playing guitar*

He's gonna take you back to the past
To play those troutty games that suck ass
He rather have a Buffalo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer!
He's the angry Wolf Kanno
The game sucks so bad he makes up his own words
He's the angry, super pissed off Wolf Kanno
His posts are so long you start to rub your head
He's the angry Wolf Kanno!

AWKN FTW

[Fynn]

why do i get the feeling FF2 is going to be hated again. FF2 is like my favourite of the nes era

I think II is pretty safe. Be afraid if you're an X or XIII fan, as others have noted

[Del Murder]

Wouldn't this list automatically exclude the worst RPGs since the reviews and word of mouth would dissuade anyone from playing them in the first place?

[Ayen]

why do i get the feeling FF2 is going to be hated again. FF2 is like my favourite of the nes era

I think II is pretty safe. Be afraid if you're an X or XIII fan, as others have noted

I do not fear the Big Bad Wolf.

[Madame Adequate]

Bottom 10 RPGs is an interesting topic. When most people go on about the 'worst' of whatever they are usually referring to somewhat known titles that they don't like. When in reality the worst of a bunch are always horribly un-finished, un-playable messes that make any game you have ever completed look like a finely polished masterpiece. They are also so bad that no-one ever plays them and they don't get any recognition.

So are we getting the list of RPGs that WK didn't like, or the list of obscure and horrible games that WK has come across.

Yeah, I was going to make a very similar post. The actual worst RPGs would probably look different from a list of those any of us personally dislike. Which will it be, Canoe?

[Galuf]

why do i get the feeling FF2 is going to be hated again. FF2 is like my favourite of the nes era

I think II is pretty safe. Be afraid if you're an X or XIII fan, as others have noted

i never played and im meh with xiii. just the fact FF2 gets bashed alot and cool that you seem to like it mindu was a cool guy

[Pike]

FF2 has a lot of fans on EoFF. Actually it's probably the only game that myself and Wolf Canoe both like.

[Galuf]

FF2 has a lot of fans on EoFF. Actually it's probably the only game that myself and Wolf Canoe both like.

Cool i didnt know that. i thought IX was EoFF's populour game

[Wolf Kanno]

If FFX and FFXIII aren't on this list, I will eat my hat. (Disclaimer: I do not have a hat).

Lol

BoB's doesn't count.

Damn straight BoB doesn't count.

Basically just take a list of my top ten RPGs. Bam, you have Wolf Kanno's Bottom Ten RPGs.

I'm pretty confident you've only played one game on my list and even though I think you've said you like it, I doubt it would be in your top 20 RPGs.

This won't go over PC games so you may put your pitchfork away.

Bottom 10 RPGs is an interesting topic. When most people go on about the 'worst' of whatever they are usually referring to somewhat known titles that they don't like. When in reality the worst of a bunch are always horribly un-finished, un-playable messes that make any game you have ever completed look like a finely polished masterpiece. They are also so bad that no-one ever plays them and they don't get any recognition.

So are we getting the list of RPGs that WK didn't like, or the list of obscure and horrible games that WK has come across.

It will be a little of both. There are at least four high profile titles on this list but I feel only one of them is really going to be controversial... I will say that my Number 1 definitely falls into the "horribly un-finished, un-playable messes" category.

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Oddly enough, this list was actually a bit difficult for me to make and there were a few entries I was originally going to put in but felt they had some merit it to them that prevented me from actually disliking them enough to really put them in. In fact a few of the games on this list I really wish were not on this list because I honestly wanted to like them; and I will admit that two games on this list are probably only on this list to make it a a rounded number. While I'm highly critical of games, it actually takes a lot to make me dislike it.

Let me give you some criteria for the list.

1. Must be games I've owned. I've played a few more titles than the ones listed here that I might have added but that created some backlog issues and some of those games are bad enough not to deserve to be mentioned again less some poor schmuck decide to unearth it and find out for themselves and these games simply deserve to be forgotten.

2. They must be games that I've played a good chunk of the way through. I'm not counting something where I played the intro and moved onto more exciting games. While a lousy intro is a bad sign, it doesn't always mean it's a bad game. I feel you need to get a ways in and determine you really don't like what it's offering to really feel a game is bad. I also feel there have a been a few titles that didn't grab me very well in the beginning that perhaps I just needed to give it another fair shot.

With that said let's begin with Number 6 after further thought and probably the most controversial entry on this list.

#6 Valkyria Chronicles
Valkyria-Chronicles-1.jpg

I don't feel like anyone would believe me if I said that I honestly want to like this game. I didn't go into it with some snarky bias or high standards, I actually really like the art and the music. I like the concept and I do feel that the merging of Tactical RPG with third person shooter elements is a novel and intelligent design choice. Hell I even love the game's shout-out to Skies of Arcadia. With all that said, I just can't get into this game. I play one battle to completion and then stop playing it for six months before I have the stomach to play another round and hope that this time, I'll finally discover what it is that makes people adore this game so much.

I feel part of the problem is that the game came along around the time I decided that I didn't really like the Tactical RPG genre that Japan was giving me anymore. Primarily because it's slow, doesn't really require much tactics or strategy, and comes down just mindless min/max that can be accomplished by hours of grinding that I simply don't have the time for, nor do I get any enjoyment out of. So yeah, the combat in the game often feels way too slow, the only units worth their weight are scouts and the tank, the computer cheats like hell because statistically, their units shouldn't be as good as they are compared to your characters if their gear is anything to go by, and most of the customization feels like it's there because the game is contractually obligated to have something.

Leveling units is really easy but also just feels like they didn't care, equipment upgrades are minor and by the time they started to branch out I think I gave up on it. The quirky like/dislike system seems like a novel idea but I've never seen it really affect my units like it says it does. I've had my sniper being in ideal conditions with them openly remarking on how I placed them into their love zone and still watch them miss every shot, whereas I've had units in bad state's fight on like nothing was the matter. So it just feels like a mechanic that didn't have any emphasis really placed on it in fear it might deter a newbie from having to think too much and frankly that's most of the customization system.

The plot sounds promising of a rag tag small country fighting off a big empire by a rag-tag scrappy militia who also deal with silly internal politics and constantly being placed into bad situations because the higher brass want to watch them fail but they always seem to soldier on. It's like the writer's did a marathon of Gundam anime, decided that it would be such a better series if it wasn't so gosh darn depressing and then wrote this script. For a WWII knockoff, this might be the happiest little war I ever took part of in a game and it's demeaning. The very circumstances that get Gunther into the military are a bit Hollywood-esque, but the fact they hold true to the Amuro syndrome of him also being a smurfing natural at it just makes me shake my head. The racism angle is interesting but I also feel it seems a bit forced at times. Like the writers put it in to make the story feel edgy and truer to WWII era Europe but sometimes I just felt like they were trying too hard with it. I wasn't even really bothered when (SPOILER)Isara was killed, I think I was just hoping they would stop talking about the Darscens but we saw how that worked out. So yeah basically the plot is an excess of overly colorful anime war tropes that was rammed down my throat in the early 2000s when I still cared about that stuff.

The most unforgivable aspect of the game is it's menu system. Whoever designed the menu system for this game needs to be dragged out into the street and shot. Why do you separate cutscenes and make me have to keep selecting each individual one? Just show all the cutscenes until we get to the battle and then let me choose if I want to save or fap about in the barracks, what is up with this stupid micromanagement bulltrout for a plot I just discussed I didn't like? I can't even skip the cutscenes, I have to play them all if I want to get to the actual next mission so what purpose does making me have to watch a silly dialogue section only to back me up to the menu and have to choose the next one. smurf you Valkyria Chronicles.

I still hope to finish this game someday but at the rate I'm going the game will probably be receiving it's 15 year anniversary remake that will fix some of these issues when I do. I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this one, but understand it's one of the two I placed on here to round off the list. I want to like it and perhaps when the stars align again and the SRPG genre magically returns to good favor with me, I'll finally absorb it all and bask in it's awesomeness with its fellow fans. Until then, it's one of three (hint hint) games in my PS3 library that I simply ponder for a quick second about playing before coming back to my senses and moving onto something better.

[Ayen]

Holy crap, it's a game I actually heard of. I haven't played it, mind you, but I have heard of it.

[Wolf Kanno]

Holy crap, it's a game I actually heard of. I haven't played it, mind you, but I have heard of it.

Don't worry, the next one will be obscure for most of you.

[Madame Adequate]

Oh look a really good game

[Wolf Kanno]

Oh look a really good game

To be fair, I'm sitting on top of four other games that are more worthy of the placement but I've not been in a masochistic mood to try them. Dawn of Mana is just sitting there taunting me... *shivers*