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Thread: Let's Play Deus Ex badly

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    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Default Let's Play Deus Ex badly

    After the moderate success of Resident Evil 2, I was considering taking feedback on board and having a bash at RE3 or Dino Crisis, but to tell the truth I've had enough herb collecting, tank controls and loopy plotlines for one decade. Maybe another time. As it happens, I found myself with the sudden urge to reinstall the original Deus Ex (an urge I'm sure many of you are familiar with) to wile away the hours spent during these cold winter weekends wistfully staring out the window, waiting for the summer and its cricket season to come around again.

    I go about it with no small amount of anxiety, as I know that there are people around who could make a far better job of it than me, but I do it anyway. For those who haven't read it, Sunglasses at Night is probably the best 'walkthrough' of any classic game there is as far as I'm concerned, and I admit it will be a struggle for me to not end up creating a carbon copy of it. This game is also a good 3-4 times as long as RE2 as well, so the chances of me giving up half way through have increased.

    Does this game still stand up to today's standards? We'll see.

    Part I: Liberty Island
    (SPOILER)


    It's Deus Ex!

    We're playing on Easy because I don't give a toss.



    Before starting a new game, you must buff out your character. This is JC Denton, nano-augmented supercop extraordinaire, with a penchant for dark trenchcoats, dark shades and dark senses of humour. You can give him a real name, but don't count on it ever being used in a meaningful way. We'll train him in computers, lockpicking, rifles, and beating people up with clubs (he is a cop, after all). We'll de-train him in pistols, which funnily enough makes no difference as once the game starts he'll be back trained in it anyway.

    Behold:



    We can leave behind 725 points as he will earn more over the course of the game and we can more quickly train in skills that aren't useless trout like swimming. Clicking Start Game brings us to the intro video that will make no sense to anybody on their first playthrough.



    We're introduced to these two strange-looking blokes who are having a chat about some sort of deadly virus.



    What filth. It's almost like an NHS hospital.

    So the pre-amble: there is a virus loose on the streets of New York, and people without access to the vaccine (non-VIPs, essentially) are kicking off. There's been a terrorist attack on the Statue of Liberty, and JC's very own UNATCO is on hand to sort it out.



    The United Nations Anti-Terrorist Coalition! They're like SWAT, except competent. And with huge robotic arms.

    We're shipped into Liberty Island, ready to give those terrorists a kicking.



    First, some mood music:



    The game begins. We have a medkit, a pea-shooter and a cattle prod. There are a few bits of rubbish lying around, including a soda can and a forty (on the left of the picture). We'll pick up the forty and save it for later.

    We also have JC's brother Paul Denton hauling ass towards us. Thus begins a quick game of cat and mouse, in order to see just what lengths he will go to to speak to JC. If you jump on top of a supply crate, he can't get to you, and instead will just stand and stare, judgmentally.



    Unfortunately he ended up getting a bit too close and triggering the conversation.



    "It's over Paul! I have the high ground!"



    Paul offers you a choice of one of three weapons - a sniper rifle, a crossbow with tranquiliser darts, or a rocket launcher. As tempting as it is, we're not going to take the rocket launcher at this point in time. It takes up too much space in JC's inventory and has too little ammo. So we'll take the crossbow. Unfortunately, if you try and do a Fallout and just kill him to take all 3, you will find that he will get angry and kill you very quickly.


    That done, JC quickly throws himself over the edge of the pier to break a few hidden boxes and get some goodies.





    Quite a few goons around the corner. Luckily, all we have to do is wave the crowbar threateningly at them...



    Lure them back to the pier...



    And let the AT-ST and the (invincible) Paul turn them into finely ground mincemeat. Interestingly, this comes just after Paul has been extolling the absolute priority of non-violence in this operation. I've hurt nobody. Who have you killed today, Paul?

    Next, it's time to break into the Statue. There's no sense taking them all on with the handful of bullets we have for our water pistol, so we have to do a bit of sneaking about. These two guys are obviously browsing EoEO as we creep past:



    We can sneak up behind this guy and give him a zap from the prod to knock him out.



    ...but I screwed it up and had to beat him to death with the crowbar instead. Rip in peace



    The room he's guarding contains the first of many 'datacubes' which the people of the future have a habit of just leaving lying around in the open. This one gives us the username and password to the security system at the front door and inside. We'll make use of it shortly.



    We also track down this vaguely-Jack-Nicholson-looking tramp named Harley Filben, who gives us a key to the front door to the statue. We won't be using it.



    This horrid-looking maiden is selling some weapons. We'll take some crossbow darts. On the way out, JC decides he has no other choice than to attack Filben with the crowbar. It turns out he is also invincible! This can only mean we'll need him later.




    Time to break in. There's a heavily armed robot patrolling the area immediate to the front door, so let's get rid of it. Grab a box of TNT, place it carefully in the robot's path...





    ...then blow that smurfer up. The nearby guards come rushing over to investigate the explosion, but after a quick glance at the debris and a cursory look around, they conclude it must have been the wind and return to their patrols. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a lot has changed in the last fifteen years, but dumb AI patrol procedures certainly haven't.

    Now that security is lax, to the front door...



    We use the famous datacube login data NSF001 and smashthestate to gain access to the panel and unlock the door. We can also switch off the cameras and turn the miniguns on the guards. When I did this, one of them, in his haste to get away, came crashing his way through the front door. Who needs a key?



    We're in. This is just one of many ways of getting into the building. We could have also picked the lock, used the key Filben gave us, climbed through the hole above the door, or just completely ignored the front door altogether and climbed up the wall around the back. That would be boring, though.



    There are a couple of patrols left in here that haven't been slaughtered by the rogue sentry guns. There is another crate of TNT sitting around as well as a lot of poisonous gas barrels. Not completely sure what they brought those here for. Regardless, we wait till the guard passes the TNT and blow him up again.



    This also explodes the gas barrels and JC has to go and choke in the corner for a while till the air clears.

    Meanwhile, let's engage in some serious theft!





    A family is going hungry for a month.

    As a secondary objective, we can rescue uber-mech Gunther Hermann from his cell. The guy is a grade-A tosser and I toyed with the idea of just leaving him there before deciding I'll do it, but only for the skill points. The way to his cell is guarded by a laser grid so we need to get our Solid Snake on.



    A few bashed heads with the crowbar later and we've set him free.





    He asks for a weapon, but JC tells him to piss off and heads upstairs.



    Remember the forty we picked up earlier? Now's the time to drink it.

    The inebriated JC approaches the terrorist leader.







    ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)

    JC's alcoholism gets him into all sorts of trouble. Regardless, a quick reload and a bullet in the head of the terrorist scum brings the operation to a close...and the end of the Liberty Island stage! Next, off for a debrief at UNATCO HQ, which is incidentally a bunker just next to the statue.
    Last edited by Old Manus; 02-19-2015 at 05:26 PM.

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    Slothstronaut Slothy's Avatar
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    I always found it amusing that the island UNATCO HQ is on apparently has the worst security in the world.

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    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Eeeeeeexcellent. I support this endeavor. Especially since I haven't played this game.

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    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
    Eeeeeeexcellent. I support this endeavor. Especially since I haven't played this game.
    I haven't played it before either. Looks interesting.

  5. #5
    (charm)anders was right Pike's Avatar
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    Let's Plays are intensifying to the point where we may no longer be able to contain them

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    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Just noticed the screenies are a bit too dark. Brightness adjust on the game does nothing though

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    Beautiful Elf Boy Madame Adequate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
    Eeeeeeexcellent. I support this endeavor. Especially since I haven't played this game.
    Quote Originally Posted by ToriJ View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
    Eeeeeeexcellent. I support this endeavor. Especially since I haven't played this game.
    I haven't played it before either. Looks interesting.
    Heathens.

  8. #8

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    Can't believe you're not teching into swimming. What are ya, chicken? :P

    Man, this game. I didn't play it for the first time until about a year before Human Revolution came out. But even though it's dated it still hold up. Great piece of art. And I just love that main theme.


  9. #9
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Alright folks, thanks to the magic of OpenGL we're back with slightly-hopefully-less-dark Deus Ex.

    Part II: Just Another Day in the Life of Your Friendly Neighbourhood UNATCO Agent

    (SPOILER)Setting the mood:





    We're in the UNATCO bunker. Chief Manderley wants JC for a debrief before sending us on our next mission. But this is Deus Ex, so we're going to fool around first.



    A lot of the exposition for this game can be found by reading newspapers that are left around. Usually it provides a bit of foreshadowing for future plot events.



    You can also throw pot plants around. We'll leave the receptionist here in his new jungle habitat.



    JC's office. Like him, boring and empty. In the future, computer monitors are see-through so you can't get away with browsing Reddit while pretending to work.



    We can log on to the computer with the username JCD and password bionicman, but it's more fun to hack into it instead and read everyone else's emails. Here we can learn a bit about why we maybe should have left Gunther in his cell...



    There are also a few random foreshadowing emails that provide a bit of context to the Deus Ex world. Also observe the domain URL at the bottom...Deadalus: GlobalNode:UN//UNATCO? Hmm. We'll learn more about that soon



    There's also this email to the chief from a mysterious 'WS'. 'Our Little Experiment'? 'Primary Unit'? itisamystery.gif



    On the way to the break room the news is reporting on a company with the logo 'VL'. We'll be seeing some of them pretty soon.



    This is on the wall in one of the rooms. Let's see if I can decipher it...
    Code:
    Suspects:
    Tracer Tong
    Robert Page
    Margaret Chow
    Max Chen
    Jojo Fine
    [unintelligible] (?)
    
    Organisations:
    B[unintelligible] Illuminati [?]
    [scribbled out]
    [unintelligible] - Research [?]
    NSA
    Robert Page Industries
    
    Locations:
    Paris
    Hong Kong
    Nevada
    
    2 planes shot down in Russia
    Who is Jojo's boss?
    What is Ambrosia?
    The map is one of Liberty Island. I have no idea why Paris, Hong Kong and Nevada (places we will be visiting soon) have arrows pointing to various points on Liberty Island, though.

    I also don't understand the obsession with Jojo Fine. As we'll soon discover, the guy is just a two-bit drug dealer.

    Onwards, we run into Gunther himself and his equally psychopathic partner, Anna Navarre. Gunther is a bit of a special bloke.



    They're both filthy hanzer mechs jealous of JC's nano-augmentations, which makes for plenty of opportunities for passive-aggressive banter.





    denton.jpg

    Time to get debriefed. But first, a trip to the ladies' bathroom?



    In UNATCO, toilet cubicles don't have doors. Nothing to hide nothing to fear and all that.



    On to the medical centre, JC can apply the new augmentation canister that we picked up after smoking the NSF leader in the statue. This one gives us magic arms which lets us pick up stuff like fridges and trout. Unfortunately, unlike the sequel we cannot drop them from tall buildings onto passers-by below.

    Into Manderley's office...



    Paul is here too. The next mission is to go to Battery Park and find the shipment of the virus vaccine (named Ambrosia- I'll let you come up with the riced pudding jokes) that the terrorist scumbags have half-inched. We'll be going with Anna Navarre. Paul is off to Hell's Kitchen to fight the good fight there.



    So VIPs are getting priority on the vaccine...? Do I smell...conspiracy? _illuminati.png



    Oh, this game.

    Off to Battery Park then. We'll say goodbye to Private Lloyd on the way.





    Arriving at the drop zone in our trusty NYPD speedboat that looks like a bit of an anachronism considering it's 2050 -



    The NSF are in Castle Clinton, and presumably the Ambrosia is being stored inside somewhere. We can go in all guns blazing with the murderous Anna through the front door, or try and find an alternate route.



    We spot this young lad wandering around the waterfront. I've actually forgotten; can you actually harm kids in this game?



    Holy trout.

    Police Report: Battery Park
    The kid was approaching asking for food in a very threatening way. He reached to rub his belly in a motion that indicated he may pull a weapon. I had no choice but to neutralize.



    There's a bit of a scrap going on between UNATCO and NSF Scum near the subway. We could get involved but instead we'll stand here with the baton, like some morbid conductor of the violence in front of us, before looting their bodies once they're finished with each other.



    The NSF have taken hostages and have the subway boobytrapped. We could just strut down there and sort them out but that would probably lead to quick death.





    This being Deus Ex, there is always another way.



    [insert 'just dropping in' one-liner here]



    We can pick up the flamethrower from one of the terrorists down here, but, like its Resident Evil counterpart, it's pretty rubbish. Chuck it.



    There are still a few NSF guarding the entranceway to the subway. The massive firefight taking place just yards away must have got lost in the wind. Instead, we'll stack up the remaining boxes of TNT near the entrance...



    Get their attention, retreat to a safe distance, and...





    Forties confirmed for being hardy enough to withstand high-powered explosive munitions. We'll pick them up and store them to use later.



    Anna Navarre and her cronies decide to bust in through the front entrance. Leave them to it.



    Had we not killed the kid, he would have told us that the NSF have a secret entrance to their underground den behind this vending machine. For whatever reason we cannot use our super arms to move it so there is only one alternative.



    For clarity, we could have also got in by bypassing the security box next to the vending machine, or by finding a secret passage via the vents we were crawling around earlier, or by moving around some big boxes to reveal a passage behind Castle Clinton, or just going in the front with Anna and going downstairs. Can't do that in CoD.



    The underground base. Are we going to see naked zombies!?



    Nope, just goons.



    With those safely dispatched, we can pick up the augmentation canister...



    ...and secure the rice pudding. Fortunately UNATCO procedures dictate that 'securing' just means 'looking at briefly'.

    Anna congratulates us on the brutality of our methods, and now it's time to take the subway to Hell's Kitchen to rendezvous with Paul.

    Last edited by Old Manus; 02-19-2015 at 05:26 PM.

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  11. #11
    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Part III: Of Ambrosia and Men

    (SPOILER)Okay, with peace brought to Battery Park via bullets and explosions, it's time to look for the secret NSF base somewhere in Hell's Kitchen. There are plenty of forties lying around the subway station, which we will readily consume before talking to Paul.







    The game is kind of vague about what to do next, merely that you have to 'find the NSF's generator'. Paul's off to intercept the stolen shipment of Ambrosia, and gives us the key to his hotel room, so we can rob it of anything that isn't nailed down.



    "Reasonable force"? Did you not see what went down on Liberty Island?



    Off onto the mean streets of Manhattan, it's time to serve and protect. Some guy is getting hassled by a couple of thugs.



    JC isn't too sure which ones are the thugs and which aren't though, so kills all three.



    A basketball court!

    Unfortunately, tossing the ball and getting it through the hoop is like arguing about David Moyes with Loony BoB - long, arduous, and with no guarantee of a positive outcome. Instead, we can cheat a bit:



    Show me in the rules of basketball where this isn't allowed.





    (SPOILER)Utah Jazz for life



    In the local pub, we go behind the bar and just steal all the liquor. Weirdly, the barmaid does not react even as we do this right in front of her, and instead will just look disapprovingly and call JC a 'jerk'.

    After clearing out the bar of liquor, JC slurringly approaches the bloke at the bar called 'Pilot'. He wants us to buy him a beer. Awkward, seeing as we're pretty sure there's none left. Luckily, hammerspace exists in Deus Ex and the barmaid is able to procure one for the eye-wateringly expensive 10 credits. In return, the pilot gives us some bollocks about Area 51 and global surveillance. Cheers pal. He also lets on that he works for UNATCO and is a friend of Paul.



    ~*~*Foreshadowing*~*~

    Back outside, there's something going down in an alleyway. JC wonders if he can get involved.







    Street justice. The woman he's harassing tells us about an arms dealer living underground and gives us the password to his lockup. We'll take this loser's body with us as it will shortly prove useful.





    He blocks the laser barriers so we can get in without getting chewed up by the security bots.



    This is Smuggler. He offers to sell us some pretty smurfing pricey weapon mods, and tells a skeptical JC that some government forces have kidnapped his friend and taken him to their base in the sewers. He promises a discount if we can rescue him.



    In the future, manhole covers are locked with special wireless nanokey encryption trout.



    Underground, a BDSM convention has just gone horribly, horribly wrong.



    The datacube has a message to Lt. Maxwell Hammer. Who's the guy in the black getup? He's not NSF...



    A little further down the tunnel brings us to this disproportionately large sewage-pit-thing. I'm getting Resident Evil flashbacks again. What is it with evil villains and building their secret facilities in sewers? It must frigging stink.

    After battling through the area, we come to a computer which we can hack. What's this?



    Another email from 'WS'...



    After some more murder we rescue Smuggler's friend, Ford Schick. He's being held here against his will and forced to work on the Gray Death Virus. We tell him to make a break for it before realising that we left a few goons alive and he's probably about to get shot to pieces.

    All this is totally optional, of course. We don't really need anything from Smuggler anyway, so let's head on over to the 'Ton Hotel to raid Paul's room.





    First we deal with a small hostage situation before letting ourselves in to Paul's crib.



    In something straight out of a 1960s spy film, moving the painting reveals a keypad which, with the code 4321 left to us on a note on the table, opens up the bookcase to reveal a BATTLESTATION inside, full of multitools, lockpicks, and ammo. Bearing in mind this is a hotel room, God knows what would happen if another visitor was to stumble across it.

    Collating the information gleaned from Smuggler, a guy at the bar and some tramps, we discover where the NSF's secret generator is, and because of the police blockade (aren't we the police?) we have to get there by going through an assault course of back-alleyways and sewers. I've never actually gone via the sewer route before, so we'll go that way.





    It brings us up on the ground level. The place is crawling with NSF scum. We need to destroy the bigass generator.



    A bit of sneaking gets us to the control room where a bit of hacking results in boom time (I'm pretty sure you can also just throw grenades at the thing, but idk).

    After that we're instructed to go to the roof, where Gunther has arrived to clean house. JC sportingly uses himself as bait to draw the NSF troopers upstairs so Gunther can dispatch them in a most painful way.



    It also turns out that our helicopter trip out of here is being flown by none other than the drunkard pilot Jock we met in the bar. JC boards with some trepidation.



    Back to UNATCO for a debrief with the no doubt victorious Paul bringing home the Ambrosia for pudding.





    Some dodgy-looking Men In Black types with robotic voices are leaving as we arrive. They don't look best pleased about something.



    I'm getting the feeling something has gone dreadfully wrong here...

    Manderley's office is locked. He's having a meeting with Liberace.





    This guy couldn't be more 'obvious villain' if he was cackling at dying children while stroking a cat. He's off to interrogate some prisoners in the detention block and tells us to stay clear. Of course, this means we shall follow him.



    He goes into the cell and locks the door. smurfer. Nobody locks doors on JC 'Jonjo Shelvey' Denton.



    We cunningly attach a gas grenade to the window and take a few steps back.



    THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERsmurfER

    This of course kills the prisoners in the process. Government Official isn't best pleased.



    Interestingly none of the guards watching this whole event unfold seem to give the slightest indication that they care about all this.

    Somehow the screenshots from the debrief with Manderley got lost so here's the synopsis: Paul done screwed up his mission against the NSF and has gone AWOL. UNATCO have subsequently sacked him. The Ambrosia he was after is about to be shipped at an unknown airfield and it's JC's job to find out which and intercept it. Where to start? The only place could be to ask the bums at Battery Park!

    On the way out though we notice the Men in Black are still standing around. Let's sort that out.







    (SPOILER)It didn't even kill them

  12. #12

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    Reading these is so much fun! Can't wait for the next episode

  13. #13
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    I have nothing clever to add (that's your job), but I'm enjoying this and you should keep going.


    Words of encouragement, attaboy, here here, etc.

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    Mold Anus Old Manus's Avatar
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    Part IV: Let's Go By Plane!

    (SPOILER)
    Jock takes us in his helicopter back to Battery Park so we can figure out where the NSF took their stolen Ambrosia shipment.




    There are plenty of forties to be found and consumed both above ground and in the subway.




    Even with JC's alcohol-blurred vision he can spot (and probably smell) the figure of Harley Filben (the bum from Liberty Island) poking around in the subway. He might know a thing or two.




    He tells us that the NSF have taken the Ambrosia to the nearby LaGuardia airport and are transporting it underground through the abandoned subway system. Some of the other bums are talking about 'the mole people'. Presumably this means The Wombles are living down there (Wimbledon is a trouthole anyway).




    In something straight out of The Matrix (in fact, this whole subway station is a duplicate of the station from the original film), Filben gives us a code to the hidden keypad in the phonebox. This causes the vestibule to suddenly move below ground into a hidden passageway. Not bad work for a bunch of tramps.




    Super secret spy trout.




    This abandoned station is populated by drifters, druggies and homeless people and is run by a gang of thugs who live upstairs. This guy wants us to fix their (stolen) water supply before he'll help us out. Unfortunately we aren't given the option to just intimidate him into giving us the information, and will actually have to do this at some point.




    This guy is the dude flogging all the zyme (junkies of the 2050's hit of choice). JC stops for a chat.










    Liquidated. One less drug dealing scumbag in the clean, crime-free abandoned subways of NYC. We put a few extra bullets in the corpse, just to "send a message".


    We go upstairs to try and glean some information from the gang members about where the NSF took the shipment, but feeling in a murderous mood, decide to kill them instead.




    Fixing the water pipe brings us the knowledge that the NSF have a secret passageway in the ladies' restroom, with the keypad hidden under the sink.







    Once again, we're back in the sewers. I'm going to try something I read in Sunglasses at Night here. There are two platforms leading the way across the room. Both of them will collapse once you get roughly halfway across them. The mission is to get the box of TNT on the right over to the other side without falling into the drink.




    First, you ever so carefully toss the TNT onto the first platform...






    I would be lying if I said I would succeed at this first time.



    After tossing a few of the nearby metal crates over there and clambering on top of them, when the platform drops, the boxes will all magically remain in place.




    I bit more careful tossing and jumping, and we're over. Now I have to think of something to do with the TNT.




    Luckily there are a few gunbots patrolling the next area which act as perfect targets.




    We've arrived at a base near the airfield. We can see the greeny glow of some of the Ambrosia inside.






    Yes, that's exactly what's going on here.




    A bit of sneaking around and we get to the airfield the NSF are using. We need to assassinate the owner of the airfield who is facilitating the NSF's escape with the rice pudding.




    The area surrounding the hangar is crawling with NSF troopers and gun bots. We need to get inside.




    After a game of kiss-chase with the security bots and thrusting a few cattle prods up the behinds of the NSF goons we get to the plane. In the nick of time...hold on, who's that standing underneath it?




    It's Paul! The double-crossing bastard!






    Paul tells us the REAL truth: it's all a conspiracy. The virus causing bodies to pile up in the streets was created by a group called Majestic 12, and MJ12 is using UNATCO to selectively distribute the Ambrosia vaccine in order to keep the country under its control. Cripes, it's like reading an EoEO post by kotora...




    JC is rightly skeptical. Regardless, our orders are still to assassinate Lebedev, who is on the plane. Let's get some answers...but not before downing a few forties.


    On the way to Lebedev's private room, first we'll attach a few LAMs to the walls. One here...



    One here...



    And one here...



    All will become clear in a minute.




    First we'll take the fire extinguisher from his bathroom and rough him up a bit.



    Excellent. Now for the cut-scene:






    BANG



    (actual screenshot)




    Yep, Anna Navarre decided to choose this moment to come running down the corridor to oversee the assassination. Unfortunately in the process she detonated the proximity-LAMs and is now a neat collection of giblets making a big mess on the carpet.

    Alex can't believe what he's seeing.



    For first-timers, what's meant to happen there is Anna comes around and tells JC to execute Lebedev or she will do it for him. Either way, he dies. Now that she's gone, however, we can just leave him and the game will continue as normal, the only consequence being that JC failed his mission. JC never fails his missions.




    Note that we just poked him with the cattle prod and he's merely knocked out. Regardless, as far as the game is concerned that means we just smoked him. We'll pick up his body and take him with us.


    Outside...



    Gunther is once again late to the party. He informs us that Paul has betrayed UNATCO and is now next to be assassinated. Gunther himself has offered himself up to be the assassin.




    Jock is also here to get us back to UNATCO so we can try and explain this debacle to Manderley.

  15. #15

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    All that unnecessary violence! I like it

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