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Thread: Round burger patties

  1. #1
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Default Round burger patties

    I like burgers. I eat burgers with various patties. Most of them have a flat patty, but occasionally I will stumble across one of these "gourmet" beef patties.



    These patties annoy me. They are not designed for human mouths in any way. They are designed to make the burger look fancy. Maybe, just maybe, they are designed to taste better, but in my experience they never bloody do. A good patty doesn't need to be a perfect circle, it doesn't need smoothed off sides, but it should be at least vaguely flat, dammit.

    What's your take on the round burger patty?
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  2. #2
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    It is an abomination. If it comes with lettuce, tomato and cheese then it is just insanely impractical.

    Don't get me wrong, I'd give it a go... but it would be awkward as hell.

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    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Looking at my work canteen's lunch menu today, I suspect I'll be having one of these for lunch. I'm both looking forward to having a burger and hoping that the patty will be flatter than last time.
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    Actual cannibal Pheesh's Avatar
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    It is not hard to flatten one of these at all once you have started to eat it, I don't see what the problem is. My favourite burgers don't come with these, but they don't Impact my enjoyment of a burger with quality ingredients inside of it.

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    tech spirit
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    you're meant to eat gourmet burgers with a fork and knife
    everything is wrapped in gray
    i'm focusing on your image
    can you hear me in the void?

  6. #6
    Lovely Gal Night Fury's Avatar
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    In my experience those patties start out pretty flat but because it's very fresh ground meat they sort of.... Swell in the pan? They go rounder a bit so I don't think they're intentionally like that it's just because its fresh ingredients, and yeah you can definitely flatten them down


  7. #7
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    But it's so much better if they make it flat in the first place. When people cook patties like that, they know they are going to turn out round (well, assuming they've made them more than once). You can easily make them flat and they are easier to eat, tastier and - should you wish to eat them with a knife and fork - they are also easier to cut.

    Thankfully my lunch had a flat patty involved and it was amazing. Moroccan lamb with salsa, mozzarella and nacho chips. Oh man.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  8. #8
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    ENTER THE BURGERSPHERE

  9. #9

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    I'm guessing the theory is that flattening them would squish the delicious juice out so they leave them plump for flavor? But from a practicality standpoint, I couldn't agree with you more.

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  10. #10

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    Spherical burgers are there to make them look larger than they are, its pretty much as simple as that. A good burger should fill the bun so you get a bite of beef, toppings and bun each time. A round burger means you get some bites of lettuce and bread and then finally you get to a meatball in the middle. Terrible.

    Burgers that swell a lot in the pan are poorly minced and have big bubbles of air in them so they swell up and sometimes pop hot grease every where.

    Perfect patty: thick, minced well, flat. Gotta keep it thick so there's a rare/medium center. Now I want a burger.

  11. #11
    noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    If you're cooking a burger yourself, make an imprint on one side with your thumb. It helps it stay flat rather than warping up like they tend to do.

    I don't really like big thick patties either though. Or little ass hockey puck sized ones that wind up being smaller than the bun.

    I'd rather have a double burger with two flatter patties than one huge one though. IDK why

    And now I want Checkers. A baconzilla burger.

    And I only like ketchup mustard pickles and onions of it's just standard.. And maybe bacon. But I also love one with Swiss or provolone or pepper jack with sauteed onions and mushrooms and mayo. So yum

  12. #12
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    I don't like thick cuts of meat on my burger/sandwich. I want it all proportional.

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    Got obliterated Recognized Member Shoeberto's Avatar
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    My trick has always been to just cut the sandwich in half. It's far more manageable. My mouth is small so it keeps me from making a giant mess.

    Most fancy/"gourmet" burger places in the US give you burgers that sound delicious but are a goddamn mess to eat, but I've had a pretty high success rate with this approach.


  14. #14
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Burgers are smurfing burgers. The only judgement I pass on my burger is how it tastes as I shovel it into my wide open trap, not about how it looks on my plate.

  15. #15
    cyka blyat escobert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shorty View Post
    Burgers are smurfing burgers. The only judgement I pass on my burger is how it tastes as I shovel it into my wide open trap, not about how it looks on my plate.
    It doesn't taste good when there's too much meat

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