Basically, a RPG turns into an action RPG if hits/misses depend on your weapon/spell's hitbox colliding with the target's hitbox. It's kind of the same mechanic that's used to determine if attacks in action games (such as for example devil may cry, bayonetta and even street fighter) succeed.
FF12 is not an action RPG even if it might look like one for someone who hasn't played it (although it has some action-like elements). Hits/misses are determined by your stats (unless you are out of range), not whether or not your character's weapon moved through the target's position. Practically all tales games and star ocean games are action RPGs, and so are all the recent elder scroll games (i actually don't know about 1 and 2), the new fallout games, secret of mana games, and the mass effect games. They all require you as the player to directly execute an attack at the right time and in the right place.
Almost no final fantasy games are action RPGs, except the upcoming FF15. FF10-2, and 13 1-3 kind of slightly dip into a grey area, because attacks can be interrupted by your own attacks, and movement resulting from one command can block another character from executing an attack and also move you in and out of areas of effect. I guess you could say it has action elements in the same way some first person shooters have RPG elements.
I guess FF11 and 14 also kind of blur the lines, but they are not pure action RPGs. They don't emply hitboxes and you can't just backstep to avoid a standard attack that was initiated while you were in range.
Action RPGs almost always use a real-time battle system, although many allow you to freeze time while selecting spells or items. Regular RPGs usually have a turn based system in one way or another. ATB is still turn based but not as static and absolute as the pure turn based systems used in FF1-3.
Personally, I often lean towards action RPGs. I like to be able to overcome statistical disadvantages by simply being really good.
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