Ok, this is the first time I ever expressed a shred of emotion into a journal entry, but I felt like my voice just needed to be heard for once. Lately I've been looking through my career choices. My plan so far is to pursue in art and design. Then I learned something interesting: The art industry is highly competitive and oversaturated. There are so many people out there who want to turn their ideas into official artwork and products. This got me thinking about my choices.
I have plenty choices at my disposal, but I wanted to choose art and design. My mom already gave me the talk about how special I am and how I could make a difference. But do you know who else got that talk? Only every other aspiring artist in the world. It's like if you got a "special" invitation to go somewhere, only to find out that everyone else in your neighborhood got the same invitation.
I realized that really there's nothing special about me. Oddly enough I haven't been seeing what I've been doing as a skill, but just a hobby. I could've chosen to do something practical. I could've been a doctor, a soldier, a scientist, or an engineer, but instead I chose to play around with my drawings in hopes that I could make it in a movie or a videogame. Am I a coward for not joining the military? Am I not intelligent for not becoming a scientist?
It doesn't feel practical, it just feels like playtime. I know what art can do for the world. It can influence individuals, but will anyone notice if one less artist leaves? I also know that really I only need to satisfy myself, but I don't know what will satisfy me anymore. It's not innovative, it won't change how we live. It's just entertainment. Something just to look at to pass the time.
While we still have professional artists that influenced history somehow, at this age, noone will notice if a few dozen people drop out of the field. I'm supposed to do what I love, but I feel as though the only way I can love it is if can make some difference.
I could move on to science, but I don't want to do it because I need to.
So the question remains: do we still need art? There are already plenty of artists out there, but have we learned all that we can from it? Can we see it as more than just entertainment? If everyone is special, then who is really? Noone will miss me if I leave, and if I do end up with success, people will dismiss it as just another piece to add to the pile.
Ok. To those who actually bothered to read this, thanks and I would appreciate it if you give me your best answers to my questions. Catch you around