Would you kiss Iceglow if every time you did so someone, somewhere, had a perfect lif

[WildRaubtier]

It's Steve, and in the words of renowned fictional mathematician Ian Malcolm:

"Steve, ah, finds a way... to talk about himself."

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

I have had sex with strangers for even less reasons, why not?

[Pumpkin]

Of course

[DK]

I've kissed him already, regardless of him not having this magical power.

[Christmas]

With or without tongue?

[Shiny]

With or without tongue?

Yes, this is important to know.

[Denmark]

nowhere was it implied that you had to kiss him on the mouth

[Iceglow]

What in the name of smurfing hell Huxley?

You wait until I've been about as active as a fossil for 2 - 3 months to make a thread to try and mock me? I think that we all ought to know that there's only 3 reasons why you could have done so. For your convenience, I've sorted them in what I assess to be the order of most likely to least likely:

1) You missed me so terribly you felt you had to put out some kind of dramatic show to try and get me posting again This is probably the most likely, since we all know that you secretly love me more than Dan, Paul and Arthur together but hey it's cool bro. I just don't feel the same I feel you ought to go ahead and make a life with Pike, it's kinda cold that you're so obsessed with me when you know you're meant to be in love with her. I'm beginning to feel a lot like Eminem in the Stan video... you're Stan.

2) You always sought vengeance for the complete shafting I gave you last time we were thrown in to the Thunderdome together. You tried to claim you were above competing against your fellow man for the enjoyment of others. You acted like it wasn't cool or that you were somehow a better human being than me. I say somehow because of course you aren't. A better human wouldn't want to be a cyborg so bad that he shoves mechanical devices in to his orifices at any given opportunity. Plus he'd realize when two men enter, only 1 man leaves and fight for his survival you simply sat there and got burnt all the while crying about how you weren't butt hurt by the fact you lost.

3) You have little else better in your life than to try and cause drama between us. It's tragic really. I'd have thought with a fiance and a busy gaming schedule you'd have enough in your life to keep you entertained clearly you need more however. It's ok bro, I got you. I understand your need for my attention, I sorry though I mean I'd love to spend my every waking moment fawning over you but frankly... I have better things to do with my time.

Now, in response to the actual topic of this thread I'm sorry but before anyone goes on whining about how I am talking about myself in this post... please tell me how in smurfs name am I meant to avoid doing so?

If kissing me would give someone at random a perfect life is very much irrelevant. The relevant question is:

"Would Iceglow, aka Steve kiss you?"

Notice how the random person's perfect life doesn't come in to it? Yeah ask yourselves this, would I kiss you? I'm going to burst some bubbles here, maybe break some hearts... (SPOILER)(Though I genuinely mean it when I ask you to please stave off from drastic actions, no one needs to self harm over me I'm just a guy, there's plenty more like me out there. Some who aren't as vain or as, shall we say difficult as me? And there's some who make me look like a living saint to be sure. Yet, I'm just a man maybe not The Man but a man and therefore I am replaceable, eventually) ... for many of you, the answer to the above question "Would Iceglow (aka me) kiss you?" is a flat no. I mean, I'm cheap sure I appreciate that but I'm not that cheap, I have standards you'd have to take me out and buy me dinner at the very least before I even considered it.

Now for the select few that could answer "Yes. Yes Steve would probably kiss me if I went for it" (here's looking at you Dan Bubba... we'll talk) if someone was to get a perfect life from the act of our kissing, would it matter? I'd argue no it wouldn't because if it's a random person the odds of it being someone you or I knew are around 7000000000 to 1. If a butterfly stamped it's foot here in London and in the South China Sea there was an earthquake, would that be because the butterfly stamped it's foot or because the earth's crust floats on a mantle of molten rock and sometimes this makes it shift?

And for some people, blackmage_nuke... for some reason your post disturbs me, not because it's kinda gross in the first place but because you never actually implied you'd kill me when cutting off my lips. What is wrong with you man! Seriously? WTF? If you're cutting a man's lips off at least have the decency to kidnap him, kill him, sodomize his body and then desecrate his corpse like that. Jeez, where has all your class gone!

[Psychotic]

[NeoCracker]

I would kiss Iceglow if every time I did, someone, somewhere, had a miserable life from that point forward.

Considering you just kissed Iceglow, that's pretty much a guarantee to happen. Magical powers or not.

[blackmage_nuke]

And for some people, blackmage_nuke... for some reason your post disturbs me, not because it's kinda gross in the first place but because you never actually implied you'd kill me when cutting off my lips. What is wrong with you man! Seriously? WTF? If you're cutting a man's lips off at least have the decency to kidnap him, kill him, sodomize his body and then desecrate his corpse like that. Jeez, where has all your class gone!

I assume in the 5 years I wear the oscillating lips your perfect life will come around and they'll graft on new lips and erase any traumatising memories. Sure I'm taking away your right to voluntarily donate your lips but billions of perfect lives outweighs one person suffering for 5 years of not having lips.

[Iceglow]

Blackmage_Nuke_ for weirdest member 2015!

[Bubba]

Wait... so Steve is... Morrissey?

[Kalevala]

I'd kiss Morrissey for the story.

[Psychotic]

If a butterfly stamped it's foot here in London and in the South China Sea there was an earthquake, would that be because the butterfly stamped it's foot or because the earth's crust floats on a mantle of molten rock and sometimes this makes it shift?

I'm still waiting for someone to answer Steve's question.