One of my favourite romance scenes is the date from Final Fantasy VII. Even though that wasn't a 'romance option' per se it was a romantic scene with one of a number of characters. Who you got wasn't pre-determined, and it wasn't signposted. It all depended on a number of subtle actions throughout the game. To have any choice in the matter you had to have foreknowledge, whereas in something like Mass Effect you always have a YES/NO option to pick.

I'd like more games to pursue the FFVII approach, where you have romance 'options' influenced by our actions, but no overt romance 'choices'. I also wish more games would let your romance options not reciprocate your affections. Like if I play a Renegade in Mass Effect and then try to come on to Liara, she should say "I'm sorry Shepard, I don't date women who kick people out of windows".