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Thread: Escape from EoFF: Let's Play The Escapists!

  1. #76
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Stop raiding my cell you petty thief!

    Here I am making an honest living in the laundry and you are stealing all my stuff!

  2. #77
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Day 7



    It's a very pertinent question when you think about it.



    Bubba makes a play at breakfast, demanding Jinx provide him with her pudding at once. How will it go down?!


    Apparently she backed down and gave it to him! Of course, perhaps the real question here is why pudding is a breakfast food, epecially in a god damn prison.


    ToriJ is the latest person to incur the mealtime wrath of Eugene. I honestly don't know what is up with Eugene but he genuinely has a true and unrelenting hatred of every single person in this prison. The amount of times he gets knocked unconscious can't be healthy. Come to think of it it's probably the cause of his permanent rage state.


    This screenshot got cut off. Bonus game: Guess what Officer Shiny deleted of Levian's!


    I can't begin to tell you how long I've been looking for a cup. Yes, really. Thanks Vivi22 for your kind contribution to the Psychotic Escape Fund! Certain lousy people whose cells I usually rob don't seem to have cups Just bad manners.


    Apparently there's something about Sir Lancealot's body that doesn't quite meet Denmark's lofty standards.


    Indeed Steve. Indeed.


    I think I might go to the library this evening. You know, get my read on, just as long as I don't have to read Jane Eyr- OWWWW MY SKULL WHAT THE HELL

    Jinx has ambushed me! Is this revenge for me causing her to lose her job? Is it vengeance for me having her beaten up by guards? Is this retribution for robbing her cell every day? I bust out my nunchucks. As you can see from the fact that I'm doing 8 damage to her and she's doing 4 to me it's not going particularly well for her.


    Oh right, I forgot I was going to be paid money to do kick her ass. Hey, I got there in the end. And for a whole $15, prison moonshine is on me tonight boys!


    Or not, because I have plans for this evening. Well, I had plans for yesterday evening but they were interrupted by an impromptu cell search. Not tonight.


    Using two pillows (Thanks for your contributions Bubba and Tori) and a bedsheet I'm able to make a fake bed dummy to make it look as though I'm sleeping soundly should any guard peer in. Looks just like me. Well, it looks just like me during my shiny amorphous red blob years. 2002-2004, in case you were wondering.


    Step two is to move my desk across the cell. Sorry, I don't really have anything interesting or exciting to add to that. I moved some furniture! EXTREME!


    The reason for the move was to position it under a vent, and clambering up onto the desk I can unscrew the grate. We're in business.


    And now I have a lot of crafting to do. I reinforce my prisoner outfit using a sheet of metal (see Item #1 in my inventory) to form crude armour. And I told you I really needed a mug and this is why!


    I didn't get a screenshot of me hanging around up there but yes, you can crawl around in the vents and I fully intend to use these in my escape attempt to get onto the roof. The slats will have to be sawn through, but for now they make a handy storage dump as my wall cavity was overflowing. Oh, and remember when I said I was making something with papier mache? That fake vent cover right there is what I made. Looks just like the real thing and doesn't have to be unscrewed.


    Still, the vent is harder to access than the wall space and unlike the poster, the fake vent cover degrades in durability every time I used it. And so the items I really need to have close at hand tomorrow remain in the cavity. Tomorrow we're gonna have ourselves some chocolate rain.

    ...I say tomorrow, I crawl into bed at 7:33. Morning rollcall is at 8:00. smurf me.

  3. #78
    Prinny God Recognized Member Endless's Avatar
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    Is it too late to join the party ? If not, I'd like to be part of the eoff jail stories.

    And then there is Death

  4. #79
    Krankzinnigheid ligt dich Colonel Angus's Avatar
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    You're really lucky to still be alive after the trout you pulled, Psychotic. Next time, you won't be so lucky!

  5. #80
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    I expect to be paid back in full for the pillow.



    For starters, make sure he doesn't get a mint. His breath shall remain unfresh for all of eternity!

  6. #81
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Endless View Post
    Is it too late to join the party ? If not, I'd like to be part of the eoff jail stories.
    Afraid it is, sorry

    Day 8


    Is it me or is she getting funnier? I decide to investigate this and chat up the guards at breakfast to see w


    Seriously! I'm going to have to go to the infirmary to get these burns looked at!



    Joke's on you, my wife is a vegan!


    Well it's interesting you should say that, Scotty, because I most certainly do. I have my cup of molten chocolate back at my cell, and I'm going to go throw it in the face of one of the guards. Why? Well, it's just an average Thursday in prison really.


    Wham! Right in the face of Officer Freya! Take that, Frey Frey!

    ...except it all goes horribly wrong. Not in the way you might think. Do you see those two blobs in my pocket? It's a wad of putty and a wad of molten plastic. See, if you grab a key from a guard, all hell breaks loose. The best you can hope for is a stint in solitary. So I have the tools right here to make a copy of the key Freya is carrying. But she isn't actually carrying her key. Is this a glitch or just bad luck? God damn it. All those items wasted!


    This disaster has really set me back and it could take days before I'm ready to strike again. Oh well, better start collecting supplies!


    Warden lonny bob pays a rare visit to the prison with an oddly uplifting message. Yes, bob, you're right, there is hope for me to burn one of your guards again!


    What the smurf is this trout? While I'm in my secret hidey hole, Officer Freya storms into my cell and rips down my hangings! Is she on the warpath after my attack earlier?


    Stripping the coverings from other beds I hastily erect my curtains again. I'm not taking this trout from lackies of BoB.


    Finally, a brawl that isn't Eugene! This time Dan sticks a plastic fork in Steve's eye before the guards quickly settle it with liberal lashings of batons.


    Sure, I've got three different kinds. Which do you want? I've got this really nice coconut stuff and it's not as if I'm bald or anything.


    My curtains have been ripped down again? This is becoming personal! Look, you can smurfing beat my head in all you want but you do not mess with a man's curtains!


    Miraculously I've gathered all the ingredients for some more molten chocolate in just one day! I really can't believe it. Welp, we go again. Officer Quin is just about to walk by...


    DIRECT HIT! ...except the key that he has is the same key that I already had a copy of. God. smurfing. Damnit. Can this day get any worse?


    Well, yes, it can, because Officer Pumpkin watched me knock Quin out and is now in hot pursuit. Run away!


    This is one of those rare times where I wish I was doing a video LP rather than screenshot. You can't really see it, but I'm running around and about with Pumpkin chasing me while Shauna tries to conduct rollcall.


    The rest of the guards are now chasing me for not being in my cell at Lights Out. It's not like I have a smurfing choice. Wait, unless...


    HA! Right into bed! Nighty nighty guards I should be safe from their beatings now, right?


    ...right?

  7. #82
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    Wow, I might get a bad name (what with all my freedom), but at least I don't beat you up while you sleep! What cruelty.

  8. #83
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Police brutality! Police brutality!

  9. #84
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Officer Shauna is by far the best character in ANY game

  10. #85
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Days 9 and 10


    Ah, sweet morning. Good job I got away from those guards by sleeping, right?


    Oh. Right. It seems once again the trust I put into video game logic has been misplaced.


    Several night sticks inserted into places where they weren't meant to be inserted later, I wake up battered and bloody in the infirmary. I'm pretty sure my spleen is not meant to be in my arm.


    To add insult to injury, I am berated for being late for rollcall. I am late, of course, because I just got sent to the infirmary. Oh, and my cell is also to be searched which is just great. All of my highly legal trinkets are now stashed away safely, but the bastards will still rip my hangings off yet again.



    Always amuses me when the random dialogue lines up like this. As it stands, I'll trade my soul for all the puddings. It already belongs to Warden lonny bob, after all.


    For some reason Steve is hoarding dirty inmate uniforms. I like to think that he is soiling his clothes and is too ashamed to put them in the laundry and is hiding them. To add some context I have never once seen a dirty inmate outfit outside of the laundry job, so the fact that he is hiding two in his desk is of some note.


    I bet he is, the dirty little lecher ...oh, you mean he wants to shank me. Or maybe both.


    Shauna on her back, eh? That inspires me. As the evident ringleader of the guards, I suspect she has the key she wants. In other news, Jinx is attempting to become a count. The count smiley got removed a long time ago so this will have to do.


    Seems to be rather a dental theme to today's requests. I can't really see the logic in providing a toothbrush shiv to a man who has openly stated he wants to stab me, but hey, at least it'll pay the medical bills, right?


    Tomorrow, Shauna is going to get it. I think it's long overdue.


    Shauna herself has other plans, mind you. Not beaten. Not put in solitary. Destroyed. She does not do things by halves does our Shauna.


    Oh Levian, you so wacky


    There's been a notable change in the demeanour of lonny bob. He's a lot more positive of late. Certainly a lot better than misery guts Shauna. Speaking of, I owe her a hot chocolate...


    ...and she owes me a key. The key to all cells, specifically. I quickly make a copy and return it. This means I can slip in and out of my cell at lights out. Oh, it's all coming together, lonny bob. You can keep your prayers, no man needs divine intervention when he has my guile!


    ...oh. Officer scotty leads the charge after me. God damnit, why do they always have to catch me in the act of scalding their colleagues? Most inconsiderate. It's almost as if they're guarding this prison.


    I manage to give all of them the slip other than Officer Pumpkin. See, the problem you have, Pumps, is that I have both the best armour and best weapon in the game, I've been pumping iron and I'm not afraid to fight. Oh. I guess that's more like four problems. Regardless, I no longer need to run and lay her out on her ass.


    Shauna has recovered enough by night fall to be her usual charming self at roll call.


    Pity I have no intention of heeding her words.

  11. #86
    Pinkasaurus Rex Pumpkin's Avatar
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    I was keeping that armor for my son when he came of age so that he could go save the world like his predecessor in Ocarina of Time

  12. #87
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    You should build your own! All you need is 80 INT, an outfit, metal and duct tape!

    Also the end draws near. I said I'd be out in two weeks and I will be making one more update of Days 11-13. With the finale, I can either do it in video form or as text and screenshots as before. Which would you guys prefer? It will probably be just 5 minutes, regardless of success of failure.

    I should point out I am only going to have one shot at this. If I fail and am captured or shot in the attempt, it'll be game over as far as I'm concerned. Theoretically I can always continue but I would lose all of the items I had gathered so I'll consider it a failure and stop playing. All or nothing.

  13. #88
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Keep doing text!
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  14. #89
    Pinkasaurus Rex Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Text works well!

  15. #90
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    Keep it text. :}

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