I have no singular ideal female character because it depends on the show. I like a lot of fictional women and all for different reasons.

The Boss of Metal Gear Solid 3 is beloved and often hailed as one of the best females in gaming.
So is Kreia from Knights of the Old Republic II.
These two have absolutely nothing in common apart from the fact they can kick ass in a fight.
Yet they're both quite good and well-written. (incidentally they are also example of female "villains" who's motives have nothing to do with love)

Yet I can also love a female who's character is strongly defined by a man. This could describe anyone from Four Murasame (of Zeta Gundam fame, a series which I'm re-watching now. You should all go watch it too) to Daenerys Targaryen. (although as much as I like Dany, the best women in ASOIAF is Brienne and it's not even a competition)

It's all in the presentation. There are good examples and bad examples of everything.