Final Fantasy Plots in 140 characters

[Freya]

SE likes to give announcements via twitter lately. They don't even bother writing a PR announcement anymore.

So let's have some fun with condensing the plots to 140 characters. You can do any entry:

You're a new intern and are tasked with tweeting out the plot of Final Fantasy ____. What is your tweet?


It's harder than it looks.

Here's mine for FFX:


Time Travelling Blonde goes to a future with religious fanatics and a giant monster. He helps save them with a girl who summons monsters!

[Ayen]

Man reunites with childhood friends to fight evil time-traveling sorceress who was living in mom and then his girlfriend.

[Colonel Angus]

Military school children battle their headmaster's estranged wife, all the while waiting for the cafeteria's next hot dog day.

[Pumpkin]

Monkey boy falls in love, learns about himself, saves the world from another world. Princess loses voice, Black Mage faces racism

[Psychotic]

Spiky haired mercenary tries to stop trenchcoated psycho from killing flower girl (fails) and summoning meteor (succeeds) by cross dressing

[Fynn]

Girl finds dead boyfriend’s old video tape, joins her cousin and a goth chick on a treasure hunt, proceeds to stop a big gun from destroying the world. Hilarity ensues.

[Pheesh]

"Please consult Datalog"

[Sephex]

Man fueled by darkness turns to light ends up fighting a Vader-like figure with pals. He eventually goes to the moon to solve his problems.

[Freya]

Sky Pirates and a bunny lady end up finding a princess. Together they have to fight political corruption to remove them from their homeland.

[Loony BoB]

There are over 1,700 non-playable characters, let alone the ever-vital playable ones, in Final Fantasy XIV. I'm not sure if I can detail that plot in 140 characters or less.

Okay seriously most of them aren't even important on any level but I'll be damned if I'm going to actually expand on that joke and write out a plot detail mentioning 140 characters.

[Mr. Carnelian]

A Valkyrie sends her sister on a time-travelling adventure to change history and save the world. Most of you will hate it, for some reason.

[Freya]

That's what makes it funnnnn BoB. I just read a wiki summary of XIV's plot. So here's my guess at it

YOU make a character that goes on adventures with friends to fight the Ultima Weapon in an attempt to be the Warrior of Light

[Colonel Angus]

Chocobo riding pimp, Princess & amnesiatic old man meet transgendered pirate & save the world from tree based monster.

[Loony BoB]

That's what makes it funnnnn BoB. I just read a wiki summary of XIV's plot. So here's my guess at it

YOU make a character that goes on adventures with friends to fight the Ultima Weapon in an attempt to be the Warrior of Light

B-b-but that wasn't the joke...

[Freya]

whooosh