Originally Posted by
bubba
It was an unusually hot June. Sylvie the Squirrel was busy collecting nuts ahead of what she's sure would be a particularly harsh winter. She wiped her brow as she finished pushing a particularly large nut into the opening of her tree. She surveyed the growing quantity of nuts in her tiny home with pride. "Well this is a decent start" she thought to herself "I've definitely earned a little break. She poured herself a little acorn nut of water and perched herself on the edge of her tree hole. It really was a beautiful day.
Then she saw him.
He moved with a certain grace and eloquence. His muscles bulged as he carried two nuts in each arm and bounded across the grass before disappearing into the undergrowth. He reappeared moments later and stood surveying the park in all his furry glory. His dark eyes and bushy tail were a sight to behold.
As she stared at him, Sylvie accidentally dropped her acorn out of the tree. Horrified, she went scampering after it. She hurtled down the tree and saw it lying a few feet away from the base. She ran and dived on it hoping that the hunky squirrel had not see her.
"Lost something?" said a voice just behind her.
Sylvie raised herself up and turned around slowly. "Erm, it's OK. I've got it."
The hunky squirrel stared at her. "This might sound like acorny line but... you have beautiful, twitchy ears."
Sylvie blushed. "Why, thank you" she said. She always thought her ears were her best feature.
"Can I help take your cup back to your tree hole?" He asked.
"Certainly!" squeaked Sylvie. She led the way up to her hole with her mystery man-squirrel in hot pursuit.
When they arrived, she stood aside to allow him to enter with her acorn. He placed it in the corner then started to turn around. "You know, you're such a cute..."
"TAKE ME, BIG BOY!"
She jumped on him bum-first and started rubbing her tail in his face. "YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU?! OOH YEAH!!". The male squirrel desperately tried to get away and tried crawling to the opposite corner.
Sylvie grabbed a handful of nuts from her pile and began flinging them at the back of his head. "AAAGGHH!" he screamed.
"Don't tell me you don't love this!" said Sylvie. "Come here!" She took a couple of nuts, ran over and jumped on his chest. "YOU KNOW YOU WANT MY NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!!".
The male squirrel squirmed and managed to break free. He bolted from the hole quicker than a gazelle on steroids. "Come back, you bastard!!" screamed Sylvie.
But the squirrel was away.
Sylvie stared at his terrified figure as it disappeared into the distance. "Men" she said.
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