San Andreas Review (Spoilers)
Disaster Movies. Because your life is so good you need to feed off the suffering of others while everything goes to hell. San Andreas is one such film starring none other Dwayne Johnson! Be honest, if The Rock wasn't in this movie you wouldn't have bothered going to the show.
San Andreas takes place in LA and San Francisco and follows the family of a rescue pilot, and a group of seismologists as the city prepares to be struck by the biggest earthquake this side of the west coast. Earth just hates California, doesn't it? Get to high ground because these buildings are coming down!
I knew I should have been a chiropractor like my mother wanted.
Here we have the star of our show, Ray. Famous rescue pilot with six-hundred rescues on his resume, loving father and soon to be ex-husband. We get to see him in action straight away as he and his team saves a woman whose car falls on the side of a cliff. “Cliff Hanger! Hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger!”
If you've seen... pretty much any Rock movie then you already have a good idea what the character is like. Just subtract the testosterone and replace it with loving family man. I didn't even remember what his name was until I looked it up, all I saw was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The same thing is true about Robert Downey Jr. The most successful actors in Hollywood right now are being paid millions to play themselves! I want that gig.
Hello, do you currently have life insurance?
Meet the soon to be ex-wife, Emma, played by Carla Gugino. She's currently dating Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, the guy from the first Fantastic Four film is in this movie. More on him later. Her relationship with Ray took a turn for the worse after their youngest daughter died and after drifting apart, Emma finally decided to file for divorce.
She gets some decent character development and scenes with Ray that shows their relationship on screen and you feel for them. You even root for her when she goes Momma Bear on a certain little asshole that shows his true stripes later. Not really much else to say about her character.
The oldest daughter that's still alive is named Blake. Interesting name for a lady. A generally nice woman going to college who just wants her parents to stay together whose whole world falls apart. Both literally and figuratively. For those worried she's just the honorably damsel in distress in the movie the film does balance it out by having her actually be useful. She's responsible for keeping the two males you see in the above picture alive.
She gets enough screen time for you to get attached to her so when the death tease comes up later you're sitting there like, “No. No you are not, movie! You wake her up right now!” But at the same time, you kind of realize that's what they're going for. And it drags on for so long. Look, we know she's going to make it out okay, so just get to the part where she lives.
I'm super serial!
Lawrence Hayes is Caltech lead seismologist whose job in the movie is to make sure you realize how serious everything is. Just listen to this exchange, and I know I'm paraphrasing but this about sums the scene up:
Student: Is there a chance of an earthquake this big happening here?
Hayes: I don't think it's a matter of if, but when.
Can your buildup be more obvious? We all know it's coming!
Aside from that, the character is fine. He does his job well. I don't know anything about earthquakes and I know movies like to make up trout, so the science and everything at least sounds plausible. He has some good interactions too, like when he loses his partner in the first earthquake scene. I still think they had time to save him. I know they'd have to amputate his foot, but that's better than dying. Oh well, I guess the movie needed to kill off at least one minority.
Please forget I was in the Fantastic Four!
Here we have the resident asshole, Daniel Riddick. Daniel is a rich real estate developer credited for making the strongest building ever. May as well slap a big sign on it that reads “DESTROY ME!” He starts out as a decent enough guy before the movie decides it needs a villain and then he becomes a complete dick. I don't know, it just comes across as forced.
I get seeing him as a douche when he just leaves the daughter trapped in the car, but the things he does after that? I can't say I'd be any better in a life or death situation. When your life is on the line, it's easy to throw other people under the bus. That's just human nature. But eventually he does get his comeuppance and gets squashed. Literally squashed. A vehicle or something just falls on him like a cartoon. All that's missing are the sound effects.
What a beautiful view[/sarcasm]
The special effects are very nice. They use just enough CGI to enhance the quality of the movie, and it doesn't overwhelm us. You genuinely believe what's happening on the screen is happening. We have buildings cracking, tumbling down, the street ripped apart, a flood drowning people, and boats trying to ride over the tidal wave.
San Andreas doesn't try to be anything but a good disaster movie and the main characters are fleshed out just enough to where you're invested when the destruction starts to take place. As far as movies go this is exactly as it's advertised.
“We can totally make this jump.”
“I don't know, Earl.”
“We can totally make it!”
So, the movie ends with Ray and Emma saving their daughter, getting back together, and California being a wreck, but the flag rises (I'm serious they cut to the flag) and the people of California looks to rebuild. And good luck with that.
San Andreas. This is a movie you'd want to see on the big screen if you can. There are a lot of cool special effects and it's the kind of movie you can see with friends and grab some popcorn while watching it.
Get it
Reply With Quote
Master of the Fork
Originally Posted by Sephex
