Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
Quote Originally Posted by Steve View Post

The jam should always be applied first. No arguments, it's like putting the toilet paper on the holder; there is a right way and a wrong way. Cream first is simply put bloody wrong. Here's why:

If you put the cream on first then much like the toilet paper being so it tears off from the back you don't actually have a good clean estimate of how much you have or need when it comes to applying the jam (or wiping your arse to continue the analogy) you end up having to put far more on than required (or tear more off) because you have a surface to spread it on which has far more give and slip (or you just can't smurfing see the thing). This leaves you dissatisfied with both an uneven covering of jam and an overly sweet experience dripping in sugar (or a blocked drain in your toilet which no one wants to break up for fear of the trout being still there)

If however, you do it right, you apply the Jam first (or hang your toilet paper so the tear perforations are on the front of the roll) you can apply the right amount of Jam to ensure maximum coverage and minimum overdoing it. You can then pile a generous helping of clotted cream on top using the adhesive quality of the jam to aid you in the process of applying it. (This is akin to being able to determine exactly how many pieces of toilet paper is enough by cleanly counting in your head). This leads to great satisfaction for the consumer and a relief that they have done things right (they're also not scrabbling for the end of the toilet roll, it is after all in plain view).

Ladies and gentleman. When it takes a man from Finchley to put you all bloody straight on Scones, you know one thing: You're simply not very classy.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

You apply both jam and clotted cream at the SAME TIME. Have I blown your mind?

You cut the scone into two equal halves. You apply jam to one half, and clotted cream to the other half. You then put the two halves back together.
You have failed this country!

Now that my Oliver Queen moment is over. You're wrong because then you have to fit the whole scone in your mouth. Now, this may be socially acceptable with say a donut, or similar it is not proper etiquette for eating a Scone. Scones are eaten in halves. As such you should not sandwich them together. Even putting the poor etiquette aside, you have encountered a trap. The trap being that if you do that, sandwich them together, you get less cream and jam per scone. That's simply the worst idea when it comes to eating a scone. Ok, so maybe not as bad as butter and hot gravy but I must say, it's close.

Additionally, Shorty... yes indeed you know you're not classy at all but that's ok. It's why we love you.