1.) Bust out Smirnoff because you don't particularly like yourself that much.

2.) Bust out the 7up.

3.) Get ice if you want a very cold taste. Though I don't do it for this purpose, I feel that colder alcoholic drinks make it easier to deal with booze in general.

4.) Pour contents in small solo cup even though you are the only one drinking awkwardly in your own home.

5.) Think about life.

6.) Drink some more.

7.) Now your cat wants attention. Pet the cat.

8.) The cats runs out of the room you are in and starts to meow for you to follow even though the cat could continue to get attention if she stayed with you in the first place.

9.) On your way to pet the cat make another drink or have a shot. Again, colder booze tends to go down easier in my experience.

10.) Man, what is life, anyway? We are on this floating rock in an ever expanding universe. It's been mere minutes and I am technically far, far away from where I was minutes ago even though I am still in the same building. That's why time machines wouldn't work. You'd just warp yourself in the middle of space or in the Earth's core or something. But if I could, would I like to share this drink with my younger self? "He" could certainly out drink me these days. I'm approaching my mid 30s. The other day I really regulated my drinking and felt pretty good going to bed, but I woke up and threw up anyway. What happened to my invincibility? Now there is no benefit to being fat anymore. Well, maybe I can dress up as a bowling ball for Halloween. My friend today told me to dress up as Arin for Game Grumps. Christ, why? I am way too fat. I suppose I could eat healthier and not drink as much, but sometimes I just get stressed after work and it feels good to lounge and have a solid, hard drink. You approach that zone where you are more than buzzed, but you aren't drunk. Throw that in the mix with being tired since you work on third shift and you get a little slap happy. You know what would be cool? If I could communicate with my cat as well as I could with another person. I think my cat would be more chill if she understood what I have to put up with when I leave my home. Also, I am sure I could learn a few things from the cat. I could tell the cat not to stress so much about me leaving for work or whatever and then the cat could actually understand. Think about that. They don't know what money is and why I have to make it. On other other hand, the cat might get effected more emotionally if the cat could fully comprehend humanity.

11.) Drink again. Where are you at? Ah, whatever.

12.) This YouTube video is hilarious. There is no way this won't be as funny when you are sober.

13.) Prog rock time. Or Prog metal. Does anyone even appreciate a good guitar anymore?

14.) Have another drink.

15.) 7up kind of smells like Fruit Loops.

16.) Remember when you were a kid and you hated the taste of cough syrup? This is sort of like that except you get drunk and think about your responsibilities.

17.) I never loved her as much as I did anyone else, at least I have that going for me.

18.) Where did those five hours go? Make it a double shot this time in the tall shot glass.

19.) Remember that video game from 20 to 30 years ago? Those were simpler times.

20.) You know that picture of your dad holding you as a baby, like, minutes after you were born. He looked very happy and different. I wonder if he knew at that moment what a fat ass lush you could eventually become. Friendly reminder, you now have clear memories of him being your current age. What have you done with your life?

21.) This guitar solo is seriously really good.

22.) I'm hungry. Throw that crappy frozen pizza in the oven.

23.) What?

24.) You made a dent out of that bottle, man. You still got it, champ.

25.) Holy s***, I remember when the Bulls won that champtionship! Hell yeah, I'll watch that documentary.

26.) Have another drink.