My Continuing Misadventures With Alcohol

[Iceglow]

I don't have a clue what the mixed drink was. My GF just handed me a glass and said "try this."

I don't like orange juice though, what else goes okay with vodka? 'cuz I always see that combination in particular and I'm wondering why.

What doesn't go with Vodka? Seriously. That being said to give a legitimate answer as someone allergic to oranges (it smurfing kills me not to be able to consume them, they're bloody delicious!) I'd recommend vodka being mixed with a little Apple Juice. Tomato Juice is pretty good too (Bloody Mary), pretty much stick to sweet juices or juices which have a natural bitterness to them alongside the sweet stuff. Cranberry for example.

A great "starter" drink if you dislike the taste of alcohol is Gin and Cranberry, you can generally knock 2 shots of Gin back in a 14oz glass of Cranberry Juice and never know the Gin was there. If you want to pee a little less throughout the evening then cut the number of fluid oz of the Cranberry back. Even 7oz of juice will disguise a fair amount of Gin.

Alternative drinks to try: Disaronno (Amaretto) and Coke. The combination of these two for some reason simply winds up tasting like Cherry Coke, even though Amaretto is actually Almond flavoured.

In winter, you could try a measure of Port poured in to a mug, Black Currant Ribena cordial (note, I've only ever found the Ribena cordial to taste right when doing this. It's not optional it's a necessity!) and top off with boiling water from the kettle. It tastes just like hot Ribena which is a great warmer if you don't like Tea or Coffee. Port will also get you quite drunk tbh.

Of course, the other option is to do what most people do, sit down with a bottle of Jack Daniels, drink it until you want to be sick, then drink it some more until you can no longer be sick. Before you know it, you'll be a Whiskey man my boy.

[Sephex]

1.) Bust out Smirnoff because you don't particularly like yourself that much.

2.) Bust out the 7up.

3.) Get ice if you want a very cold taste. Though I don't do it for this purpose, I feel that colder alcoholic drinks make it easier to deal with booze in general.

4.) Pour contents in small solo cup even though you are the only one drinking awkwardly in your own home.

5.) Think about life.

6.) Drink some more.

7.) Now your cat wants attention. Pet the cat.

8.) The cats runs out of the room you are in and starts to meow for you to follow even though the cat could continue to get attention if she stayed with you in the first place.

9.) On your way to pet the cat make another drink or have a shot. Again, colder booze tends to go down easier in my experience.

10.) Man, what is life, anyway? We are on this floating rock in an ever expanding universe. It's been mere minutes and I am technically far, far away from where I was minutes ago even though I am still in the same building. That's why time machines wouldn't work. You'd just warp yourself in the middle of space or in the Earth's core or something. But if I could, would I like to share this drink with my younger self? "He" could certainly out drink me these days. I'm approaching my mid 30s. The other day I really regulated my drinking and felt pretty good going to bed, but I woke up and threw up anyway. What happened to my invincibility? Now there is no benefit to being fat anymore. Well, maybe I can dress up as a bowling ball for Halloween. My friend today told me to dress up as Arin for Game Grumps. Christ, why? I am way too fat. I suppose I could eat healthier and not drink as much, but sometimes I just get stressed after work and it feels good to lounge and have a solid, hard drink. You approach that zone where you are more than buzzed, but you aren't drunk. Throw that in the mix with being tired since you work on third shift and you get a little slap happy. You know what would be cool? If I could communicate with my cat as well as I could with another person. I think my cat would be more chill if she understood what I have to put up with when I leave my home. Also, I am sure I could learn a few things from the cat. I could tell the cat not to stress so much about me leaving for work or whatever and then the cat could actually understand. Think about that. They don't know what money is and why I have to make it. On other other hand, the cat might get effected more emotionally if the cat could fully comprehend humanity.

11.) Drink again. Where are you at? Ah, whatever.

12.) This YouTube video is hilarious. There is no way this won't be as funny when you are sober.

13.) Prog rock time. Or Prog metal. Does anyone even appreciate a good guitar anymore?

14.) Have another drink.

15.) 7up kind of smells like Fruit Loops.

16.) Remember when you were a kid and you hated the taste of cough syrup? This is sort of like that except you get drunk and think about your responsibilities.

17.) I never loved her as much as I did anyone else, at least I have that going for me.

18.) Where did those five hours go? Make it a double shot this time in the tall shot glass.

19.) Remember that video game from 20 to 30 years ago? Those were simpler times.

20.) You know that picture of your dad holding you as a baby, like, minutes after you were born. He looked very happy and different. I wonder if he knew at that moment what a fat ass lush you could eventually become. Friendly reminder, you now have clear memories of him being your current age. What have you done with your life?

21.) This guitar solo is seriously really good.

22.) I'm hungry. Throw that crappy frozen pizza in the oven.

23.) What?

24.) You made a dent out of that bottle, man. You still got it, champ.

25.) Holy s***, I remember when the Bulls won that champtionship! Hell yeah, I'll watch that documentary.

26.) Have another drink.

[noxious.sunshine]

Pretty much what everyone else said.

Alcohol is an acquired taste. Stay away from the cheap stuff, and make your drinks not that strong.

Margaritas could be a good start.. They're sweet, but if you knock the salt that rims the glass into it and squeeze a couple of lime slices , that will cut the sweetness down quite a bit... At the top at least.

Restaurants don't typically make margaritas that strong (they wanna make they money after all), so you won't taste any hard liquor.

[Crop]

About three years ago now, I decided I wanted to try beer though. Not that garbage juice in a can that most Americans drink. I was assured there are a billion-and-one kinds of beer out there. Good beer that is nice for drinking, as opposed to getting drunk while repressing your urge to throw up aka American beer.

Since everyone has pretty much covered all the other angles on this, I'll just mention this -

I don't think you should ever want to start experimenting with something new while having that kind of attitude. Don't get me wrong, there are far, far nicer beers out there than stuff like Coors, Bud, Carling and Heineken, but on the flip side there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. If they're not to your taste then fine, but instantly acting like a beer snob is probably not the best way to start off.

Even if you become a beer connoisseur it's probably still best not to act like that.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

About three years ago now, I decided I wanted to try beer though. Not that garbage juice in a can that most Americans drink. I was assured there are a billion-and-one kinds of beer out there. Good beer that is nice for drinking, as opposed to getting drunk while repressing your urge to throw up aka American beer.

Since everyone has pretty much covered all the other angles on this, I'll just mention this -

I don't think you should ever want to start experimenting with something new while having that kind of attitude. Don't get me wrong, there are far, far nicer beers out there than stuff like Coors, Bud, Carling and Heineken, but on the flip side there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. If they're not to your taste then fine, but instantly acting like a beer snob is probably not the best way to start off.

Even if you become a beer connoisseur it's probably still best not to act like that.

I'm gonna totes agree with this. Don't be a dick about your beer. Few things are as annoying as somebody who talks down to me because I drink what I like to call party beers (Coors, Bud, Natty Ice, Corona, Miller, etc.) when at a bar or drinking among friends. I am a beer lover. I love a good IPA or lager or hefeweizen or pilsner. But I can appreciate cheap mediocre beer as well. Just don't be a dick about it.

[Shorty]

About three years ago now, I decided I wanted to try beer though. Not that garbage juice in a can that most Americans drink. I was assured there are a billion-and-one kinds of beer out there. Good beer that is nice for drinking, as opposed to getting drunk while repressing your urge to throw up aka American beer.

Since everyone has pretty much covered all the other angles on this, I'll just mention this -

I don't think you should ever want to start experimenting with something new while having that kind of attitude. Don't get me wrong, there are far, far nicer beers out there than stuff like Coors, Bud, Carling and Heineken, but on the flip side there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. If they're not to your taste then fine, but instantly acting like a beer snob is probably not the best way to start off.

Even if you become a beer connoisseur it's probably still best not to act like that.

I'm gonna totes agree with this. Don't be a dick about your beer. Few things are as annoying as somebody who talks down to me because I drink what I like to call party beers (Coors, Bud, Natty Ice, Corona, Miller, etc.) when at a bar or drinking among friends. I am a beer lover. I love a good IPA or lager or hefeweizen or pilsner. But I can appreciate cheap mediocre beer as well. Just don't be a dick about it.

but how will people know how manly you are unless you take shots at others drinking cheap beer

[noxious.sunshine]

I agree with Crop and Plef.

It drives me insane when people bash my choice of beer (Bud Light & Budweiser) & there are a more than a couple of eoffers who can be bad about doing that.

To each their own, but yeah. No need to be an asshat about what different people like.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

but how will people know how manly you are unless you take shots at others drinking cheap beer

Fixed. I'm all about taking shots.