Without a real life friend...

[Leigh]

No, I'm not implying that people who play this game are friendless anti-social super nerds. Quite the opposite! I'm the one without friends...

I was wondering if you feel that playing Final Fantasy XIV, or any MMORPG in general, is a muted experience if you go in as a solo player. I have tried to get into a number of MMORPGs over the years. I go in with high expectations of spending a lot of time having fun, and creating bonds with people. Sadly, I've found that everything is very transient, in terms of developing social ties with anyone in games. They seem next to no existent.

In the end, I feel like I am playing a graphical spreadsheet balancer. It's all numbers and statistics on a panel, which all kind of feels rather meaningless. For people who are currently playing, and have managed to stick with it over a prolonged period of time; what has ensnared you to commit to the game long term? Do you have a collective that you play with regularly to make the experience more human. For is it simply a love of addition?

I'd really like to invest in the game - but I find myself burnt out whenever I solo myself to level 21, and looking at that little cute carbuncle fight has passed its original novelty. I mean, you should never force yourself to like something if you intrinsically can't find any pleasure in it. I like to think of myself as exercising open-mindedness, and I just can't work out why XIV seems so popular, yet I lack the resolve to actually stick around after I've keypressed 1 and 2 on countless evil fungi.

This is not a criticism of the game. I don't intend to be bashing it. I'm more looking for enlightenment on the best way people enjoy it. Is it simply a lack of a social clique?

[Aulayna]

Maybe these types of games just aren't for you?

[Tasura]

Given how story driven XIV is, I see it more as a single player RPG with online elements (dungeons, FATEs) this has greatly helped me get over my fast MMO transition (unless an MMO has some amazing features I tend to only play for a couple of weeks before moving on). As far as playing with people goes, having been a member of EoFF for almost 11 years I've known some people here longer than offline friends, so being in the FC helps break the social barrier I find in most games.

[escobert]

I don't have any irl friends that play GW2 anymore, but I made enough friends over the course of a couple years that there's usually someone to play with. And being in 3 guilds helps

[Zanmato]

I always had the worst social experience when playing any MMO game.
Some people were assholes (Shaiya) or just were "muted", they didn't want to talk with me (Urban Rivals), but there were few games with great folks actually (Card Hunter), but these were exceptional, at least to me.

I love playing tabletop games with people, because that's the best way to create a bond with them and I think everyone will agree with me on this one.

[Loony BoB]

I treat an MMO as an incredibly interactive chatroom full of minigames. I've made some fantastic friends through FFXIV, and have gotten to bond with people I'd known through EoFF for years but never really interacted with to any huge degree before we played the game.

However, it's not a way to make offline friends and, as with many games both online and offline, it'll be a different experience for each individual that plays it.

[Leigh]

Mm. I think because I usually like to only really instigate deeper bonds with people, perhaps socialising online won't quite work, to an extent where I have a degree of responsibility to keep playing because of said somebody. There is also the problem of because I'm not a teenager anymore, it's not like I can spend all my time scowering the Internet looking for new potential deep friendships, but usually failing. Haha!

I'm of the opinion that there is generally a critical period for making friends, and once you are outside of your childhood, it's less of creating friendships, but making connections because everyone else is too concerned with their own well-being and life to be that concerned about you anymore. Haha

[Shauna]

I disagree that deep bonds can't be made over the internet, but eh. To each their own.

[escobert]

I disagree that deep bonds can't be made over the internet, but eh. To each their own.

I agree Shauna, some of the friends I've made in Gw2 are great! I've been playing with some of them for almost 3 years now. We always party up and chat, even if we're strewn across the world. Once we all get together we just go out and have fun in PvP or do a dungeon. They're all people I've met through Guilds and we're all in multiple guilds together.

[Leigh]

I disagree that deep bonds can't be made over the internet, but eh. To each their own.

I've never even found a deep bond with anyone outside of the internet except with members of my family. Maybe this is a reflection of psycho-social ability on my part, but there is even less emotional content to be had over the internet, in terms of being able to read someone's physical character that goes hand in hand with communicating. I'm open-minded to it, because I have tried a number of time. Getting people to like you enough is the issue and even then people on the internet, myself included, have a tendency to be transient.

But I'm probably getting off the main subject, which was not so much about my lack of ability to form a social life. It was more - is this game just mainly boring unless you're teamed up with someone. I have played XIV before, and found no engagement in the storyline - it just seemed very generic, but then again, every story is these days.

Man against man
Man against nature
Man against self.

[Shauna]

Perhaps your mindset that there are no lasting relationships to be found on the internet is part of your issue.

I have made many long standing friendships on the internet (from this very forum, shockingly), but on that same note, there have been many friends that are long gone and we no longer speak. But that's life in general - friends come and go in all walks of life, and has nothing to do with it being online or offline.

[Leigh]

Perhaps your mindset that there are no lasting relationships to be found on the internet is part of your issue.

I have made many long standing friendships on the internet (from this very forum, shockingly), but on that same note, there have been many friends that are long gone and we no longer speak. But that's life in general - friends come and go in all walks of life, and has nothing to do with it being online or offline.

Perhaps! It's not that I am not open to the idea of other people being able to form relationships over the internet; I have just found that, through my own experience, is that it doesn't really work for me. I've never found the satisfaction, but then again, I've never found any relationship or friendship , online or offline, satisfying to me. I've always wanted to feel more. Does more exist? Who knows! Haha.

[Loony BoB]

I'd say it's a case of "Different strokes for different folks".

[o_O]

I also see MMOs as big chatrooms with all kinds of fun stuff to do. To be perfectly honest, I never tried any MMO before this because I thought the idea of having to maintain relationships with real people would detract from the game itself and make it more difficult to focus on the content. I quickly found out that the social stuff IS the game and in many ways it forces you to group together and form ties with others and ever since have been enjoying it immensely. Your experience with soloing the content sounds about what could be expected when playing without others; the start of the game is pretty slow as it is (don't worry, every class gets amazingly fun from around level 40 onwards and the story gets super intense) and there is a lot of content which is specifically designed around group progression, like hunts, dungeons, raids, trials, maps, airships, housing etc.

My advice to you is to find an active FC, and participate in conversation, help others out, don't be afraid to ask for help and your enjoyment of the game will skyrocket.

EDIT: It seems like you're playing arcanist at the moment. I just want to point out that when you hit 30, you have the option to become the most fun healer in the game (by far, imo) or one of the most OP and fun dps classes in the game.

[Leigh]

I'll try and get back into the game. I might have to join you guys, if you'll have me!