Reading a lot of visual novels you get exposed to extreme highs and lows of romance writing. I do rarely come across romances where I get heavily invested in seeing the couple be happy, and those end up being my favorites. Conversely there's a lot of times when the romance feels forced or just unnatural, which end up being forgettable. Worst would probably be the nukige genre, where a sex scene is literally your goal point. I'm the same as Pumpkin in that I never self-insert, because to me the main character is a 'person', not a blank slate. Even if they don't appear graphically on the screen for 99% of the game.

But well in that regard all that really matters is how well the romantic scenes are written. How well playing matchmaker works is a totally different story. Most I've seen are simple choices that determine who the main character spends the most time with, and that's how the romance starts building up. But honestly there's no real activity in pushing the relationship forward for the player there, the characters do it on their own, you just let them have those moments. Which again I'm fine with because I don't consider myself a part of that romance, and it also makes it feel more genuine if the immediate interaction between the MC and the romantic interest is governed by THEM, not me, the player.

So I guess what I'm really interested in is not so much playing matchmaker in particular as just seeing good romance stories unfold. Romantic charage (character games) are usually quite good at that.

On the topic of 18+ stuff, I used to indiscriminately hate H scenes, but I've actually grown appreciative of some of them. For every 10 stupidly out-of-place scenes that amount to nothing more than mindless fap material you come across the one that actually fits the story well and furthers character and relationship development, and the story just wouldn't be the same without them(Tomoyo After in a nutshell). But well, that's something that goes on a case by case basis, and most H scenes I can't be any more than apathetic towards.