It is optimal and it really makes the dungeon more forgiving.

They're both good, just you'll romance girls as a guy and guts as a girl. The girl has all the party members in her social links, while the boy only has girls and sadly, al social links with girls default to romance for him, while the girl gets friebdshio/romance routes. She's slightly better written since the team has had more experience by thatvpoint, but you won't miss out on much if you pick a boy for roleplaying purposes.